Family Confidential: Secrets of Successful Parenting with Annie Fox, M.Ed.

Three months after Heather Von St. James gave birth to her first child, she was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, a rare form of lung cancer caused by asbestos. She was told she had fifteen months to live. Fast-forward eleven years and Heather is very much alive and has dedicated her life to helping parents who are cancer patients. "My job, as an advocate, is not to tell patients the 'right way' to do things." Heather says. "Those parents know their kids far better than I do. (The question is) how much do you think (your child) can handle? I know what works for my daughter. (That's all.) It's more important for me to support them in their decision and maybe suggest things that might work better." Annie talks to Heather about helpful ways for parents to respond to children's questions, concerns and worries about a parent's health challenges and how help your child get the community support he or she needs at this time.

About Heather Von St. James (@HeatherVSJ)

Heather Von St. James is an 11-year cancer survivor, cancer research advocate, and blogger. She is a contributor to Huffington Post and offers a message of courage, inspiration and hope. Heather also serves as a mesothelioma research funding advocate and conference speaker for the Asbestos Disease Awareness Organization and Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation. As a survivor of this often fatal asbestos disease, she considers herself to be a "poster child for hope after mesothelioma." Learn more at http://Mesothelioma.com

Camp Kesem

Heather strongly recommends that kids whose parents are undergoing cancer treatment spend time around other kids who are going through the same thing. Camp Kesem, a nation-wide community driven by passionate college student leaders, supports children during and beyond their parent's cancer. Camp Kesem is free of charge for every child who attends and is open to children who have lost a parent to cancer, have a parent who is undergoing cancer treatment, or whose parent is a cancer survivor. With 100+ college chapters from coast to coast, you can find a camp near you. Learn more at http://CampKesem.org

While Camp Kesem is only open to children of cancer patients, there are other camps that provide wonderful support for children who are, themselves, cancer patients or who have a sibling who is a cancer patient. Find those camp options at http://www.ped-onc.org/cfissues/camps.html.

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

Parenting tweens and teens is challenging. They're testing boundaries, just as they should at this age. And whether we like it or not, they're frequently pushing back and trying to establish their own independent identity (interests/values/opinions) apart from Mom and Dad. That level of conflict is reality in most intact, stable, both-parents-married-to-each-other families. When a separation or divorce occurs and either parent is beginning to date, that's likely to create extra challenges for teens and their parents. "Divorce or separation is a huge change," says Karen Bonnell, family coach and author of "The Co-Parents' Handbook: Raising Well-adjusted, Resilient, and Resourceful Kids in a Two-Home Family from Little Ones to Young Adults"."This is a huge change and there's often grief involved. So kids are recalibrating, trying to make sense out of something their parents have done that they have no control over." Annie talks with Karen about how to parent your teen once you start dating again after divorce.

About Karen Bonnell (@karenbonnellcmc)

Karen Bonnell has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth, and change. Her work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write "The Co-Parents' Handbook". In this straight-forward, practical guide, parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family. Karen's other books include "The Parenting Plan Handbook". Learn more at http://CoachMediateConsult.com.

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

Parenting tweens and teens is challenging. They're testing boundaries, just as they should at this age. And whether we like it or not, they're frequently pushing back and trying to establish their own independent identity (interests/values/opinions) apart from Mom and Dad. That level of conflict is reality in most intact, stable, both-parents-married-to-each-other families. When a separation or divorce occurs and either parent is beginning to date, that's likely to create extra challenges for teens and their parents. "Divorce or separation is a huge change," says Karen Bonnell, family coach and author of "The Co-Parents' Handbook: Raising Well-adjusted, Resilient, and Resourceful Kids in a Two-Home Family from Little Ones to Young Adults"."This is a huge change and there's often grief involved. So kids are recalibrating, trying to make sense out of something their parents have done that they have no control over." Annie talks with Karen about how to parent your teen once you start dating again after divorce.

About Karen Bonnell (@karenbonnellcmc)

Karen Bonnell has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth, and change. Her work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write "The Co-Parents' Handbook". In this straight-forward, practical guide, parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family. Karen's other books include "The Parenting Plan Handbook". Learn more at http://CoachMediateConsult.com.

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

Has parenting really changed all that much since we're now raising our children in the Digital Age? Not according to G. Cory Warren, Corporate Communications Director at LifeLock. LifeLock partnered with the National Parent Teacher Association (P.T.A) to develop a free online tool for parents called The Smart Talk. According to Cory, "The role of parents today is not any different than the role of parents who came before. It's to be involved, to have conversations, and to show an interest in what your kids are interested in so you can help guide them along that path." If your child's interest includes sending and receiving content via digital devices, then parents might need updated guidance tools. Annie talks with Cory about The Smart Talk tool and how it works to get parents and kids together for a conversation about being responsible about the new technology.

About G. Cory Warren (@LifeLock)

G. Cory Warren is the Director of Digital communications and Content Development for LifeLock, an identity theft protection company based in Tempe, Arizona. Learn more at LifeLock.com and TheSmartTalk.org

http://FamilyConfidential.com

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

Has parenting really changed all that much since we're now raising our children in the Digital Age? Not according to G. Cory Warren, Corporate Communications Director at LifeLock. LifeLock partnered with the National Parent Teacher Association (P.T.A) to develop a free online tool for parents called The Smart Talk. According to Cory, "The role of parents today is not any different than the role of parents who came before. It's to be involved, to have conversations, and to show an interest in what your kids are interested in so you can help guide them along that path." If your child's interest includes sending and receiving content via digital devices, then parents might need updated guidance tools. Annie talks with Cory about The Smart Talk tool and how it works to get parents and kids together for a conversation about being responsible about the new technology.

About G. Cory Warren (@LifeLock)

G. Cory Warren is the Director of Digital communications and Content Development for LifeLock, an identity theft protection company based in Tempe, Arizona. Learn more at LifeLock.com and TheSmartTalk.org

http://FamilyConfidential.com

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

When we're worried, we are not feeling empowered (or safe or happy). That's part of the reason parents often tell our kids "Don't worry." Easier said than done. "Worrying is on one end of a continuum with fear on the other and anxiety in between," says Psychologist Dr. Dan Peters. "Fear," he says, "is a response we all need biologically to survive. It's a response to a real threat in the environment. Anxiety is an irrational fear. The thing we're anxious about (and stress and obsess over). That thing is possible, but it's highly unlikely. Worry, with a small 'w' is a feeling of nervousness where we're thinking something bad is going to happen. But when it starts moving toward anxiety, the small 'w' becomes a big 'W' and becomes a lot more problematic." And gets in the way of our kids enjoying life and reaching their potential. Annie talks with Dr. Dan about children who worry and how parents can help them master those worries.

About Dan Peters (@DrDanPeters)

Daniel B. Peters, Ph.D. is a psychologist, author, and Co-founder of Parent Footprint, an interactive parenting education community offering Parent Footprint Awareness Training with the mission to make the world a more compassionate and loving place—one parent and one child at a time. He is host of the "Parent Footprint Podcast with Dr. Dan" and a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and Psychology Today.

Dr. Dan is the author of "Make Your Worrier a Warrior: A Guide to Conquering Your Child's Fears" and its companion children's book "From Worrier to Warrior", and co-author (with Dr. Susan Daniels) of "Raising Creative Kids" as well as many articles on topics related to parenting, family, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, dyslexia, and anxiety. Learn more at http://DrDanPeters.com

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

When we're worried, we are not feeling empowered (or safe or happy). That's part of the reason parents often tell our kids "Don't worry." Easier said than done. "Worrying is on one end of a continuum with fear on the other and anxiety in between," says Psychologist Dr. Dan Peters. "Fear," he says, "is a response we all need biologically to survive. It's a response to a real threat in the environment. Anxiety is an irrational fear. The thing we're anxious about (and stress and obsess over). That thing is possible, but it's highly unlikely. Worry, with a small 'w' is a feeling of nervousness where we're thinking something bad is going to happen. But when it starts moving toward anxiety, the small 'w' becomes a big 'W' and becomes a lot more problematic." And gets in the way of our kids enjoying life and reaching their potential. Annie talks with Dr. Dan about children who worry and how parents can help them master those worries.

About Dan Peters (@DrDanPeters)

Daniel B. Peters, Ph.D. is a psychologist, author, and Co-founder of Parent Footprint, an interactive parenting education community offering Parent Footprint Awareness Training with the mission to make the world a more compassionate and loving place—one parent and one child at a time. He is host of the "Parent Footprint Podcast with Dr. Dan" and a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and Psychology Today.

Dr. Dan is the author of "Make Your Worrier a Warrior: A Guide to Conquering Your Child's Fears" and its companion children's book "From Worrier to Warrior", and co-author (with Dr. Susan Daniels) of "Raising Creative Kids" as well as many articles on topics related to parenting, family, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, dyslexia, and anxiety. Learn more at http://DrDanPeters.com

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

In high achieving schools, the expectations of parents and teachers can be intense. Getting top grades puts kids under unhealthy levels of stress. And is it even necessary? According to school counselor and therapist, Phyllis Fagel, "It's not clear what grades even mean any more. In today's Digital Age, with this many variables [contributing to our kids' chances for success in the workplace] I think people are just trying to control whatever they can. And grades is one of them." Many colleges are beginning to broaden their perspective to include more than just a student's GPA when considering applicants. That's an important step in the right direction. Anxious parents may also be recognizing that grades, per se, don't define a child, but they're not sure what does. Annie talks with Phyllis about the myth of the Straight A student and how character development fits into success in the workplace and in life.

About Phyllis Fagell (@Pfagell)

Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at the Sheridan School in Washington, D.C. and a licensed clinical professional counselor at Chrysalis Group Inc. in Bethesda. She is a regular contributor to the Washington Post where she writes about education, social emotional learning, counseling, and parenting. Read Phyllis' Washington Post columns under Phyllis L. Fagell.

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

In high achieving schools, the expectations of parents and teachers can be intense. Getting top grades puts kids under unhealthy levels of stress. And is it even necessary? According to school counselor and therapist, Phyllis Fagel, "It's not clear what grades even mean any more. In today's Digital Age, with this many variables [contributing to our kids' chances for success in the workplace] I think people are just trying to control whatever they can. And grades is one of them." Many colleges are beginning to broaden their perspective to include more than just a student's GPA when considering applicants. That's an important step in the right direction. Anxious parents may also be recognizing that grades, per se, don't define a child, but they're not sure what does. Annie talks with Phyllis about the myth of the Straight A student and how character development fits into success in the workplace and in life.

About Phyllis Fagell (@Pfagell)

Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at the Sheridan School in Washington, D.C. and a licensed clinical professional counselor at Chrysalis Group Inc. in Bethesda. She is a regular contributor to the Washington Post where she writes about education, social emotional learning, counseling, and parenting. Read Phyllis' Washington Post columns under Phyllis L. Fagell.

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.

Our culture pressures mothers to conform to an ideal of "good mom." When our children are little we are often too busy with caregiving to think about who we are. As kids reach the point in their development where they aren't as dependent, we may find ourselves with more time for ourselves. According to Life Coach Caroline Greene, this new chapter of parenting can be accompanied by a "deflation and a loss of identity and feelings of loneliness, isolation, and confusion." For Caroline, ten years out of law school, she was still in the kitchen. She loved the life she and her husband built for their family, but she "wasn't happy or fulfilled." On top of that, because she knew she was so fortunate, she felt guilty. Annie talks with Caroline about honestly asking ourselves, not only "What kind of person do I want to be raising?" but also (and equally important) "What kind of person do I want to be?"

**Special offer for Family Confidential podcast listeners: To get a free copy of Caroline Greene's book "MATTER: How to Find Meaningful Work That's Right For You And Your Family" simply email [email protected] and put the word "Matter" in the subject line.

About Caroline Greene (@CarolineKGreene)

A self-proclaimed "recovering lawyer, chronic overachiever, and passionate truth-teller" Caroline Greene is crazy about helping women build lives that truly matter to them. A former prosector and big-firm litigator, and a stay-at-home mom turned life coach, Caroline knows first hand what it feels like to "get stuck into someone else's definition of success and what it feels like to lose your identity when you decide that definition might not be what you want anymore." Author of "Next: How to Start a Successful Business That's Right For You and Your Family", Caroline coaches women to help them find work they love and a balance that is right for them and their loved ones. Learn more at http://CarolineGreenCoaching.com

Copyright © 2009-2018 Annie Fox and Electric Eggplant. All Rights Reserved.