Remember when you could just "log off"? Your kids can't. The internet you grew up with and the one they're navigating are worlds apart.
You survived AOL chat rooms. You navigated the early internet just fine. But here's the uncomfortable truth: that experience doesn't prepare you for what your kids face today. Not because you weren't capable then—but because the internet itself has fundamentally changed.
Then: You had to ask permission to use the family computer
Now: The internet is in your child's pocket 24/7
Then: You heard that dial-up sound when connecting
Now: Silent, constant access with no "logging off"
Then: Your parents could walk by and see the screen
Now: Private devices, encrypted apps, hidden content
Then: Websites were static pages you chose to visit
Now: AI algorithms study every click and serve addictive content
Then: Chat rooms had 10-20 strangers
Now: Anonymous access to millions of people worldwide
Then: The internet was a destination you visited
Now: It follows your child everywhere, constantly pulling their attention back
This isn't about your parenting skills. It's about understanding that a neighborhood street and a six-lane highway require completely different safety rules.
MYTH #1: "I survived the early internet, my kid will be fine"
This is like saying you crossed a quiet street safely, so your kid will be fine crossing a freeway at rush hour. The internet had no algorithms tracking your behavior in the 90s. Today's platforms use artificial intelligence to study your child's every move and serve them exactly what keeps them scrolling. You could log off. Your kids can't escape.
MYTH #2: "The government and platforms will protect my kids"
Who makes money when your kid stays on TikTok for another hour? TikTok does. Who gets campaign donations from tech companies? Politicians do. Frances Haugen testified to Congress with internal documents proving Instagram knew their platform harmed teenage mental health—and they buried the research to protect profits. Right now, 40% of children aged 8-12 are using social media illegally. The biggest fine the FTC ever gave? $5.7 million to TikTok - a rounding error. These companies aren't on your team.
MYTH #3: "Platforms will moderate harmful content"
When the product is free, your child's attention is what's being sold to advertisers. Keeping your kid safe means less time on the platform. Less time means less money. Their business model and your child's safety are opposing goals. This is why every dangerous platform is free—TikTok, Snapchat, Roblox, Fortnite. And every safer platform costs money—Nintendo Switch, Minecraft. When you pay, you're the customer. When it's free, your child's attention is the product.
THE TWO DANGERS THAT MATTER:
After 30 years in cybersecurity (including work at the NSA) and raising my own kid, I've learned that most of the complexity boils down to TWO core dangers:
1. Addictive algorithms - AI designed by psychologists to capture and keep your child's attention
2. Anonymous communication - Strangers having access to your child without accountability
Every dangerous platform has one or both of these. Every safer platform has neither or has strong protections against them.
Once you understand these two dangers, you don't need to become a tech expert. You don't need to learn every new app. You can evaluate TikTok, Roblox, Snapchat, or whatever launches next month using the same framework.
WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:
The skills you developed navigating the early internet - critical thinking, stranger danger awareness, healthy skepticism - those are still valuable.
But they need to be updated for an internet that:
- Studies your child to manipulate them
- Connects them to millions of anonymous strangers
- Makes money by keeping them addicted
You don't need to understand algorithms. You need to have ongoing conversations with your kids about these two dangers and why they matter.
https://www.familyitguy.com/assets/downloads/safe-chat-conversation-starters.html
Your parents' advice about internet safety was "don't talk to strangers online." That's still true. But today you also need to teach your kids about how platforms are designed to be addictive and why "free" apps are actually the most expensive - they cost attention, mental health, and safety.
Keep your kids away from addictive algorithms and anonymous communication. Teach them why these dangers exist. That's 90% of online safety right there.
