Family Law Cafe: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/
Watch Part 1 with Mags — “Is Everything We Know About Domestic Abuse Wrong?”: https://youtu.be/ZhBO9CGmjAs
Subscribe for new episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@familylawcafe
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Rk31sVEDPRFo7KBhgwpqM
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/family-law-cafe-podcast/id1719434464

“Codependency” has shaped how professionals, courts and families respond to domestic abuse for decades — and there is no science behind it at all.
Cambridge University psychological criminologist Mags Lesiak returns to Family Law Cafe to unpack what happened after her research (and a viral interview about Epstein) went global: a book deal with Cambridge University Press, a free white paper for professionals, and a growing conversation among police, social workers and detectives about making the “invisible perpetrator” visible again.
Host Joanna Toch pushes further, drawing on years on the family law frontline to ask why the family courts still haven’t caught up — from DARVO tactics and undiagnosed conditions used as legal leverage, to the “playground” of post-separation abuse, and the uncomfortable question of whether 50/50 shared care is really about the child, or the money.
This is a conversation about grooming, coercive control, trauma bonding, and why the language we use — “abusive relationship” instead of “abusive person” — quietly lets perpetrators disappear.

This episode discusses domestic abuse and coercive control. If anything in this conversation resonates with your own situation, please reach out to a trusted person or a domestic abuse support service.

Chapters
The episode opens with a 41-second trailer, so every chapter below is shifted 0:41 later than the raw conversation. This block is plain text (no bullets) — select it and paste straight into the YouTube description box; YouTube will auto-detect it as chapters.

0:00 Trailer
0:41 Welcome back: Mags Lesiak and the research that debunked “codependency”
4:11 The invisible perpetrator: why every case looked like the same man
8:41 The fallout from the viral Epstein interview — and a new book with Cambridge University Press
12:11 Training police and social workers to see the abuser, not just the victim
15:11 The free “weaponised attachment” white paper with The Pixel Project
17:41 Children placed with abusive fathers: where family courts get it wrong
20:41 Why raising domestic abuse is still “risky” for victims in court
24:41 The childhood-trauma excuse — and the 90% of people who never become abusers
29:41 Trauma bonding as a grooming tactic, not a real bond
33:11 DARVO in the family courts: fake diagnoses and abusive solicitor correspondence
38:41 Post-separation abuse and a court system that can’t enforce its own orders
43:41 Scrap the phrase “abusive relationship”: the Cambridge apartment thought experiment
48:11 Is 50/50 shared care really about the child, or the money?
52:11 Male victims and women perpetrators: the research gap and the stigma
55:41 The slot machine in your relationship: why leaving feels like withdrawal
59:11 Final message: it’s a perpetrator pattern, not a victim deficit

Note: YouTube requires the first line to read exactly 0:00, and needs at least 3 chapters of 10 seconds or more — this list meets both. If your final edit's trailer runs a different length, adjust every timestamp below by the same difference.

#FamilyLawCafe #CodependencyMyth #DomesticAbuseAwareness


Engage with Us:

Website: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/
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Connect with Joanna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannatoch/
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We'd love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts or any questions you might have. Don’t forget to like this video if you found it insightful and subscribe to our channel for more powerful stories and expert advice. Your support helps us reach and help more people.

Family Law Cafe: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/

Getting divorced as an expat in the UAE looks nothing like getting divorced in the UK — and the differences could cost (or save) you a fortune. In this episode, Joanna Toch sits down with Clotilde, Managing Partner of a UAE-based family law firm, to unpack the seismic legal changes that have reshaped divorce, custody and money in Dubai and Abu Dhabi since 2021.

They cover the exact formula Abu Dhabi courts use to calculate a wife's lump-sum payout, why Dubai does it completely differently, what “50/50 custody” actually means in practice, how lawyers track down assets hidden offshore, and why some of the toughest cases end in reconciliation instead of divorce. If you're an expat living in the Gulf — or advising someone who is — this conversation will change how you think about where to file.

More from Family Law Cafe:

▶ Trusts, Wills & Powers of Attorney: What You Need to Know — https://familylawcafe.co.uk/podcast/trusts-wills-powers-of-attorney-what-you-need-to-know/

▶ Parallel Legal Battles: Criminal & Family Law Insights — https://familylawcafe.co.uk/podcast/parallel-legal-battles-criminal-family-law-insights/

▶ Watch every episode — https://familylawcafe.co.uk/podcast/

Chapters:

0:00 Introduction – Meet Clotilde

1:15 Why Family Law Changed: The Golden Visa Effect

3:35 Law 14 & Law 41: The 2021 Personal Status Law Explained

6:05 Can You Divorce in the UAE? Jurisdiction & Habitual Residence

9:54 The Abu Dhabi Alimony Formula: 25% × Years Married

14:21 Dubai Alimony & Child Maintenance Rules

17:48 When the Wife Is the Breadwinner

19:45 Mediation: The Quiet Revolution in UAE Family Law

21:38 Hiding Assets: Financial Disclosure & Forensic Investigators

27:51 No-Fault Divorce & the 50/50 Custody Default Explained

32:16 Consent Orders & Getting Your UAE Order Recognised Abroad

35:23 Litigating in Arabic: Inside the UAE Family Courts

37:44 How Fast Is It? Real Timelines for Divorce & Money

39:56 Abu Dhabi, Dubai or England? Choosing Where to Divorce

42:29 Final Thoughts: What the UK Could Learn from the UAE

#FamilyLawCafe #UAEFamilyLaw #ExpatDivorce

Engage with Us:

Website: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/familylawcafe
Connect with Joanna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannatoch/
Follow FLC on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-cafe/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familylawcafe
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Mag's paper: 

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10778012251379423

Mag's  journalistic summary:

https://www.cam.ac.uk/stories/domestic-abuse-trauma-bonds

We'd love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts or any questions you might have. Don’t forget to like this video if you found it insightful and subscribe to our channel for more powerful stories and expert advice. Your support helps us reach and help more people.

Are you navigating the world of family law or just starting to think about divorce? In this powerful episode of Family Law Cafe On the Road, we’re joined by family solicitor Sandy Brown, private investigator Harry from Answers Investigation, and Family Law Cafe founder Joanna Toch.

We dive into real-life experiences with divorce, the legal system, mediation, and how Family Law Cafe is reshaping the family law experience in the UK.

👉 Whether you’re looking for emotional support, strategic legal guidance, or clarity during a confusing time — this episode has you covered.

💬 In this episode:
How Family Law Cafe works differently to traditional law firms

Why clients feel empowered — not intimidated

The truth about mediation, litigation, and legal fees

What a private investigator really does in divorce cases

How divorce coaching can support your emotional clarity

Engage with Us:

Website: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/familylawcafe
Connect with Joanna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannatoch/
Follow FLC on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-cafe/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familylawcafe
X: https://twitter.com/familylawcafe
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawcafeUK

We'd love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts or any questions you might have. Don’t forget to like this video if you found it insightful and subscribe to our channel for more powerful stories and expert advice. Your support helps us reach and help more people.

Welcome to Family Law Cafe on the Road — a special live episode filmed at the Business Junction Spring Expo. In this dynamic conversation hosted by Family Law Cafe founder Joanna Toch, we meet the professionals behind the scenes of modern divorce. From mortgage brokers and accountants to foreign exchange experts and entrepreneurs, we explore how financial clarity, strategic advice, and collaboration can transform outcomes for people navigating separation.

Whether you’re a business owner going through a divorce or a professional supporting clients through one, this episode is packed with insight, empathy, and real-world expertise.

Engage with Us:

Website: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/familylawcafe
Connect with Joanna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannatoch/
Follow FLC on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-cafe/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familylawcafe
X: https://twitter.com/familylawcafe
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawcafeUK

We'd love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts or any questions you might have. Don’t forget to like this video if you found it insightful and subscribe to our channel for more powerful stories and expert advice. Your support helps us reach and help more people.

In this episode, Joanna Toch speaks with Oliver Al-Falah, a specialist criminal and regulatory lawyer, about the intersections between criminal law and family law. They discuss how early legal advice can drastically change case outcomes, the impact of criminal allegations on family proceedings, and how legal strategy shapes both family and criminal cases.

The conversation covers topics like domestic abuse allegations, controlling and coercive behaviour, malicious communications, harassment, and the role of early intervention in legal disputes. Oliver shares insights from his experience, including cases where family and criminal law overlap, the importance of client-lawyer relationships, and why waiting for a criminal trial before proceeding with a family case is often a mistake.

Engage with Us:

Website: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/familylawcafe
Connect with Joanna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannatoch/
Follow FLC on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-cafe/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familylawcafe
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawcafeUK

We'd love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts or any questions you might have. Don’t forget to like this video if you found it insightful and subscribe to our channel for more powerful stories and expert advice. Your support helps us reach and help more people.

Trusts, Wills & Powers of Attorney – What You Need to Know | Family Law Cafe Podcast

What is a trust? Do you really need a will? And what happens if you don’t have a power of attorney in place? In this episode of the Family Law Cafe Podcast, host Joanna Toch sits down with solicitor Lissie Squire to break down these essential topics in a clear, jargon-free way.

🔹 Key topics covered:

What a trust is and how it works 🏡
Different types of trusts and how they impact families
Why having a will is crucial (and what happens if you don’t have one)
Powers of attorney explained – who can act on your behalf and when
How trusts and wills affect divorce settlements
If you're dealing with estate planning, cohabitation disputes, or inheritance issues, this episode is for you!

🎧 Listen now and take control of your legal future.

📍 Need expert advice? There is another way. Visit Family Law Cafe today.

#FamilyLawCafe #EstatePlanning #TrustsExplained #WillsAndProbate #PowersOfAttorney #DivorceLaw

Website: https://familylawcafe.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/familylawcafe
Connect with Joanna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannatoch/
Follow FLC on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-cafe/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familylawcafe
X: https://twitter.com/familylawcafe
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawcafeUK

We'd love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts or any questions you might have. Don’t forget to like this video if you found it insightful and subscribe to our channel for more powerful stories and expert advice. Your support helps us reach and help more people.

In this insightful episode, Joanna Toch speaks with Louize Yafai, a breakup, divorce, and domestic abuse coach. Louize shares her personal journey through an acrimonious divorce and how it inspired her to become a coach. She discusses the emotional rollercoaster of divorce, strategies for emotional regulation, the importance of taking control, and how coaching can complement legal advice. The conversation also touches on financial abuse, co-parenting, boundary setting, and rebuilding confidence post-divorce.

Topics Covered:
Louize’s personal experience with divorce and emotional overwhelm
How coaching helps individuals process emotions and regain control
The importance of a support network in divorce
Common emotional patterns in breakups and strategies for emotional regulation
How financial abuse manifests and how to rebuild financial independence
Co-parenting: The difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting
The impact of unresolved trauma on future relationships
How boundary setting builds confidence and self-worth
Moving on after divorce and preparing for a new relationship


Guest Bio:
Louize Yafai is a certified breakup, divorce, and domestic abuse coach. Having navigated her own high-conflict divorce, she now helps individuals process emotions, build confidence, and move forward with clarity and empowerment.

Five Key Takeaways
Divorce is an Emotional Rollercoaster: It’s normal to experience shifting emotions—anger, sadness, relief, and frustration. Coaching helps process these feelings constructively.
Lawyers Aren’t Emotional Support Systems: Lawyers provide legal strategy, not emotional guidance. Coaching ensures clients can engage effectively with their legal team.
Regaining Financial Independence is Empowering: Many individuals, particularly women, feel lost post-divorce. Small wins, like opening a solo bank account, help rebuild confidence.
Co-Parenting Requires Emotional Maturity: It’s about prioritizing the children’s needs over parental conflict. Parallel parenting often exacerbates tension.
You Must Heal Before Entering a New Relationship: Without self-reflection and boundary setting, people risk repeating unhealthy relationship patterns.

In this episode of the Family Law Cafe Podcast, host Joanna Toch speaks with Anna Florio, a relationship coach specialising in helping individuals—particularly men—navigate relationship challenges and post-divorce recovery. Anna shares her journey from being an informal relationship advisor to becoming an expert in relationship dynamics, especially concerning narcissistic relationships. She discusses why people repeat unhealthy patterns, how past trauma affects relationship choices, and why men often struggle with emotional support during divorce. The conversation also explores emotional abuse, infidelity, and the psychological impact of breakups, offering insights into healing and self-awareness.

Show Notes
00:00 Introduction – Joanna Toch introduces the podcast and guest, Anna Florio.
02:00 Anna’s Background – From childhood peacemaker to relationship coach.
06:30 Why We Repeat Relationship Patterns – Recognising subconscious behaviour loops.
12:45 Narcissistic Relationships – Identifying red flags and breaking free.
18:20 Emotional Abuse in Relationships – Why people tolerate toxic behaviour.
24:50 The Psychology of Infidelity – Different motivations for men and women.
31:15 Divorce, Emotional Trauma, and Suicide Rates in Men – Why men struggle post-divorce.
38:00 Moving Forward After a Toxic Relationship – Healing techniques and self-awareness.
45:00 Final Thoughts & Where to Find Anna Florio

5 Key Takeaways
Self-awareness is the key to healthy relationships – Recognising and addressing subconscious patterns prevents repeated mistakes.
Narcissistic relationships are built on manipulation and control – The cycle of abuse involves idealisation, devaluation, and discarding.
Emotional abuse is often dismissed but has lasting damage – Many people stay in toxic relationships due to childhood conditioning.
Men struggle with post-divorce emotional support – Societal expectations make it harder for men to seek help.
Healing requires introspection and tailored support – Relationship recovery involves emotional work, not just moving on.

In this episode, host Joanna Toch speaks with Arlene Small, a specialist family law barrister, about the evolving role of barristers, accessibility in family law, and the impact of transparency in the court system. Arlene shares her inspiring journey from the care system to becoming an advocate for empowering clients, her passion for family law, and her perspectives on the challenges and complexities of legal aid, private law cases, and financial remedies. The conversation is both deeply personal and insightful, offering listeners a nuanced view of family law practice.

Title: Breaking Barriers in Family Law with Arlene Small

Host: Joanna Toch

Guest: Arlene Small, Specialist Family Law Barrister

Key Discussion Points:

•Arlene’s journey from the care system to the bar

•Dispelling myths about barristers and making family law more accessible

•Challenges of the legal aid system and its impact on justice

•The role of transparency in family courts

•Advocating for clients in complex and high-stakes family law cases

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