Family Matters

We are regularly asked by parents, how they should go about dealing with a child who has been a victim of bullying and cyber-bullying. There are a number of articles that give guidelines and advice to those parents on our website at safamily.co.za. But, today we want to speak to the teens themselves who are being faced with cyber-bullying. We’ve heard from many teens that are struggling to live productive and normal lives because they are fearful of the bullies at school or those they’re connected with on social media. Cyber-bullying is not okay, and we’ll talk more about ways to deal with the onslaught of negative messages and threats on the next Family Matters.

Children read about the Devil in the bible and hear stories told in Sunday School, and sometimes they begin to have nightmares and uncontrollable fears of this unseen enemy. Parents can do a lot to allay those fears by referencing what God’s word says in the Bible.

Now that I'm past 18, should I still "submit" to my mom and dad? The Bible says that children should "obey" their parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20), but at what point do I become fully independent of their control?

As human beings, we are so fallible, and our hearts and minds can lead us astray very easily if we don’t keep them in check and surrendered to God. As Christians, we have been rescued out of slavery to sin and reconciled to God, but that does not mean that sinful thought never crosses our minds. We still have to make a conscious decision daily to take up our cross and follow Christ. In marriage, we have to guard our hearts against any sinful desire that may threaten our relationship with our spouse.

When it comes to infidelity in a marriage relationship, there can be no grey area. A spouse should never be asked to turn a blind eye to extramarital relationships, because the very nature of marriage is a sacred bond between man and woman, and this vow should not be undermined.

When a young boy chooses to play with girls’ toys or loves to join in girly fantasy games, is this a warning sign that he may be struggling with gender identification? We’re discussing this in a little more detail

Is sex really that critical to a healthy marriage? Here's why I ask. I'm having a disagreement with my spouse. He tells me that sex is a "sacrament" and "a holy mystery," and that it needs to be central to our relationship. He even uses Ephesians 5:30-32 to support these claims. I don't agree. After all, there's a lot more to marriage than just sex. Besides, the Bible itself (in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5) seems to suggest that sex is basically a sort of functional "chore," not a deeply meaningful "spiritual" experience. I get the feeling that some believers think sex is more important than the Bible says it is. Do you agree?

In every marriage, there are going to be conflicts and frustrations between husband and wife, and sometimes an outside perspective can be just what you need to get back on track. But one needs to be careful about where that counsel comes from because even family members can often be a hindrance if they are overly invested.

When life takes a turn for the worse, and you experience suffering and heartache, it’s very difficult to hear the words, “God works all things for the good”, because things may not look good at all to you. Going through trials and tribulation is never easy, and yet the bible tells us that we will have to endure hardship in this life.

How can I help my small child deal with his overwhelming fear of insects? He's always been a little scared of bugs, but recently he was bitten by something at school during snack time, and now he gets hysterical every time the class is supposed to go outside. What's the solution?