Family Matters

Pursuing a serious relationship with someone who you feel is a potential marriage partner is always a big decision. This is because marriage is a lifetime commitment that doesn’t only involve you and your spouse but your respective families too.

How should I respond to my adolescent daughter's cutting habit? I only recently discovered that she's been cutting herself. I've tried to let her know much this concerns me. I've even requested that she let me "monitor" the situation. But she is very sensitive and perceives this as criticism and lack of trust. I promised I wouldn't pry anymore, but I did ask her to talk to me whenever she feels compelled to cut herself. Do you think we can work this out between ourselves? Or is that a naive assumption?

Does it mean I'm gay if I'm attracted to someone of the same sex? There have been times when I've experienced strong emotional connections with individuals of my own gender. On occasion I've even felt myself physically drawn to them. I'm confused and don't know what to think of this. Can you help me?

Can you provide some guidance on how to navigate a marital separation? Our marriage has been plagued by conflict and emotional pain for a long, long time. As a result, we've come to the conclusion - sadly and reluctantly - that we need to get away from each other for a while. I honestly don't know if our relationship is going to survive, but for the sake of our kids and our own sanity I want to go about this process in the best way possible. Who should we tell? How should the two of us interact while separated? How do we handle finances and other practical matters? What other issues do we need to consider?

Does it mean I'm gay if I'm attracted to someone of the same sex? There have been times when I've experienced strong emotional connections with individuals of my own gender. On occasion I've even felt myself physically drawn to them. I'm confused and don't know what to think of this. Can you help me?

Does it mean I'm gay if I'm attracted to someone of the same sex? There have been times when I've experienced strong emotional connections with individuals of my own gender. On occasion I've even felt myself physically drawn to them. I'm confused and don't know what to think of this. Can you help me?

Should a spouse who has had an affair be tested for sexually transmitted diseases and infections? My husband recently ended an affair, and we are working toward reconciliation. It's a touchy process and I don't want to do anything that might suggest a lack of trust or indicate that I haven't forgiven him. At the same time, I don't think my concerns are unreasonable. What should I do?

What can we do to get ready for the departure of our youngest child? He'll be going off to study after the end of this year, and my spouse and I will be left "on our own" as empty nesters. I've heard that many couples in our position face serious adjustments and are at risk for marital problems and even divorce. How can we prepare for this transition and avoid the potential pitfalls?

Should I be worried that my daughter might be "transgendered" because she likes to dress and act like a boy and spends a lot of time playing sports with her dad? After watching a television talk show on this subject, I've begun to wonder whether there might be something more to her behavior than mere "tomboyishness." Do you think she needs counseling?

Is it normal for a man who has been deeply involved with sexually explicit material to have no desire for marital intimacy? My husband and I haven't had sex in eight months. He knows that I desire a physical relationship, but he isn't interested. I suspect it has something to do with a recent online affair he had, as well as an addiction to pornography from which he's recovering. I feel so hurt and rejected. How can I turn our situation around?