Family Matters

What are the tell-tale signs of alcoholism? I'm worried about my husband, but I'm not sure if I have grounds for insisting that he do something about his drinking. When (rugby/soccer/football) season comes around, he and his friends sitting in front of the TV drinking beer. Not every night, of course. In fact, one of his key defenses is that they only drink on weekends and during the games. He says it's just "guy time" – a chance to take a break from work, get together with friends, and show loyalty to their favorite team. He also maintains that they never really get drunk – just "buzzed." What do you think?

In light of the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:27-30, how does a "virtual" affair differ in any significant way from a real-life affair? If it isn't different, does my spouse's involvement with cybersex give me grounds for divorce? I recently discovered that he's been involved in an ongoing "relationship" via the Internet. He claims that there's nothing adulterous about this kind of activity. According to him, it's just another form of sexual fantasy. I strongly disagree. What do you think?

Can you tell us what changes we should expect as our child goes through puberty and enters adolescence – and how we should deal with them? I realize that this is likely to be a challenging time in our son's life. I'm also assuming that my spouse and I will have to bear a large part of the burden of his insecurity and anxiety as he navigates this delicate transition. Do you have some tried-and-true strategies for weathering the storm?

How can I know God's "calling" for my life? For years I've been working at a difficult, uninteresting job. It has never brought me much in the way of happiness or satisfaction, but it has allowed me to provide for my family. As far as I'm concerned, that's the higher priority. Meanwhile, I'm always hearing Christian leaders say that God has a specific "calling" for my life, and that this "calling" includes my occupation. As far as I can see, this idea has no biblical support. What do you think?

When a couple decides to get married, there should be no secrets between them that may surface in their marriage and trip them up. So, what happens if you have chosen to stay sexually pure before marriage but your partner is no longer a virgin? We’ll discuss how this can affect the relationship, and how couples can overcome this kind of hurdle.

How effective are "time outs"? Our son is entering toddlerhood and I'm not sure what type of discipline is best for different behaviors. My friends all seem to rely on "time outs" regardless of the nature of their kids' behavior. I'm not sure this is always the best method. When are "time outs" an appropriate means of discipline? When are they not? How can I tell the difference?

What's your opinion of oral sex? Is this a permissible form of sexual intimacy and expression between a husband and wife?

Is it reasonable for a husband to look for sexual stimulation in pornography if his wife doesn't care about her appearance and lets herself go? I'm in a miserable marriage. Since our wedding, my wife has put on a lot of weight and isn't concerned about doing anything to address the problem. I don't want to divorce her, but I still have sexual needs. Any ideas?

How do I answer my child's difficult questions about her absent father? I broke up with her dad almost eight years ago – when she was just a baby – and she has never met him. But lately she's been asking things like, "Do you still love Daddy?" and "Why doesn't he call – doesn't he love me? " and "Can I try to find him someday?" What do you think I should say?

How can I tell if my child is having trouble with a bully? Are there any tell-tale signs? And if he is, how can I help him deal with the situation?