Family Matters

Do you think it's a good idea for husbands and wives to have regular activities apart from each other with their friends of the same sex? My husband feels a deep need to get together with his guy friends a couple of times each month, but I'd rather spend most of my time with him. I get out with some girlfriends a couple times a year, and this seems to be more than sufficient for me. What are your thoughts?

Is there anything I can do to help my expectant wife deal with the severe mood swings she's been experiencing? She's about three-quarters of the way through her pregnancy, and lately she's been terribly depressed. It's beginning to take a real toll on our relationship. I've heard a lot about post-partum depression, but is it normal for a woman to be feeling blue before the arrival of a baby?

What can we do to encourage our adult son to grow up? He's made some very poor choices in terms of lifestyle, jobs, living arrangements, and friends. After raising him in the Christian faith, we're deeply disappointed. At the same time we can't help feeling guilty and wondering where we went wrong. Is there anything we can do to reverse the situation without overstepping appropriate boundaries?

As a new Christian who is in the process of kicking a lifelong drinking habit, how can I restore my relationship with my children? A number of years ago my struggles with alcoholism finally destroyed my marriage and family. I really regret the mess I've made, but I've recently found the Lord and am currently in recovery. Now I'd like to reconnect with my kids, but they don't want anything to do with me. What should I do?

How can I convince my adult son that matrimony is valuable and worthwhile when his own parents couldn't make it work? My ex-spouse and I split up when my children were still small, and I thought it was all water under the bridge. Now I find that my son blames me and his dad for his negative view of marriage. He doesn't intend to marry his live-in girlfriend, since, in his words, "marriage is a valueless, old-fashioned institution," and "divorce is inevitable anyway." What should I tell him?

Is it okay for a boy to be gentle and sensitive? Our two young sons couldn't be more different. The oldest is a typical boy – loud and in perpetual motion. His four-year-old brother, however, is so quiet I hardly know he's around. While our oldest son and his dad spend hours on end rough-housing together, the younger prefers to be off in a corner drawing or outside gathering flowers. Is this something I should be worried about?

Do I have reason to feel hurt and upset when I see my husband turn his head and look at other women? He has always been faithful to and affirming of me. I trust him, and he's the last guy I'd characterize as a womanizer. Still, it bothers me to see him react this way when he's out in public. Am I too sensitive about this?

Is there a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation in a case of marital infidelity? Over a year ago, I discovered that my husband had resumed an emotional affair with a good friend of mine. Altogether, the two episodes covered a span of nearly ten years. After I confronted him for the second time, he wept and said he was very sorry. He has assured me – and I think he is sincere – that the relationship has ended. I honestly believe in my heart that I have forgiven my husband, but in spite of this I have had a hard time trusting him or feeling any affection for him. This upsets him. He says that it should be enough for me to know that the affair is over and that he has promised never to be unfaithful again. Even our counselor has said that my feelings are evidence that I haven't forgiven my husband. I'm hurt and confused. Can you help me?

How do I move on from an affair that ended in disappointment? I had hoped that my status as "the other woman" would eventually change after my lover left his wife and family, but that didn't happen. Now all I feel is sad, broken, and alone.

What can I do about my spouse's disorganized and scatter-brained behavior? He's extremely irresponsible, and it's making my life impossible. Not only does he misplace things around the house (bills, important personal documents, etc.), but he travels regularly as part of his job, and we're constantly having to replace expensive electronic devices – cell phones, laptops – that he loses on the road. It's costing us a small fortune and driving me crazy! When I try to discuss the problem with him, he gets defensive and says, "You lose lots of things too!" Any suggestions?