Family Matters

How can we make family prayer a priority? We're a Christian family and my spouse and I are eager to raise our kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Can you give us some helpful pointers in this area? Our children are small, and it's been a real struggle to make prayer times engaging for them. Do you think we should keep trying? Or should we just wait until they're older?

Now that our son is past eighteen, should he still obey us? The Bible says that children should "obey" and "submit to" their parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20), but he says that because he's an adult, this commandment no longer applies to him. How do you feel about this? At what point does an adult child become fully independent of his parents' control?

Do you have any answers for someone who's stuck in a destructive relationship? I just had a baby with my boyfriend of six years. We've always had problems, but things took a turn for the worse when we moved in together a year and a half ago. Our plan was to share rent and other expenses, but I've ended up doing everything myself. I wanted out a long time ago, but when I got pregnant I thought I should give it another shot so that our child would have a family. We're still together, but things are horrible. He's become emotionally abusive and has even smacked me twice. I'm honestly afraid to leave our son with him. He says that if I leave him, he won't pay child support. I have no family to fall back on. What should I do?

How can I help my family develop a healthier lifestyle? We have young children, and I'd like to do everything I can during these early years to encourage everyone in the house – mom, dad, and kids – to develop habits that will give us many long, healthy, happy days together. Can you provide me with any helpful tips?

How do I deal with a chronically late spouse? He's late for everything except work. I know I'm not responsible for this behavior, but it makes me late too when we're going somewhere together, and that reflects poorly on my reputation. More importantly, this constant tardiness inconveniences and is disrespectful to the people we invariably keep waiting. A friend has advised me to overlook the problem in order to promote peaceful co-existence, but I think marriage should be an "iron sharpens iron" relationship where spouses hold each other accountable. What's your perspective?

How can I help our young sons control their tempers? My husband comes from a long line of "angry men," and I'm beginning to see the same tendency in our kids. What should I do?

Why do Christians need a church wedding and a piece of paper from the state to make their marriage "official"? My girlfriend and I are both dedicated believers and we intend to spend the rest of our lives together. We've been wondering why we should bother applying for a marriage license. Isn't marriage a private, personal covenant? And isn't the spiritual aspect of that covenant more important than anything else? If we move in together and start having sex, doesn't that make us married in the eyes of God?

How can I encourage my boyfriend to embrace his role as a father-to-be? I'm due to deliver our baby next month, and up to this point he's been completely uninvolved. He has actually told me straight out that he's just not interested in being a dad. He's been emotionally detached and distant throughout most of our two-year relationship, but I thought that having a baby together would help nurture a deeper connection between us. I've become so disappointed in him that I'd be willing to dump him altogether if it weren't for the baby. I can't raise a child on my own, and wouldn't want to even if I could. Can you help me?

How do we stop our two daughters, ages thirteen and seven, from fighting and bickering all the time. I'm concerned that the effects of all this conflict may be potentially harmful. We're a Christian family, so we've talked many times about what it means to be kind, loving, and forgiving. After one of these discussions they always promise to do better next time, but nothing ever changes. When should we begin to worry that their sibling rivalry is getting out of hand?

My husband has never physically harmed me or the kids, but he constantly subjects our children to mean-spirited put-downs. For example, he tells them that they're stupid and lazy. He demeans my son's athletic abilities. He tells my daughter that she's ugly and needs to lose weight. The children try to ignore him and put a brave face on the situation. But I can tell that the constant criticism and mind games are wearing on their self-esteem and making their lives miserable. I want to help them, but I also want to be a good submissive wife. I also worry about how he may react if I challenge him. What can I do?