FamilyLife New Zealand Podcast

Someone once told me: “If a hammer is the only tool in your toolbox, you’ll treat everything like it is a nail.” Now although that saying relates to broadening your skillset and mastering your trade, I think the concept leads to some valuable reflection on invention and purpose.

The purpose of a hammer is to drive a nail into an object, but when I use that hammer on something it wasn’t designed to be used for, I may cause some serious damage. In carpentry, every tool has a purpose and unless we understand the design and purpose of each instrument, we won’t be effective in our craft.

“If purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable.” Dr. Myles Munroe”

In the same way, each tool in a carpenter’s toolbox has a designed function, there is also a design idea behind marriage. In this podcast with our guest speaker Brad Carr, we explore the topic of God’s design for marriage; the Master Plan.

Good communication is a team sport. It requires a communicator with a clear message and an active listener reflecting back on what they’ve heard.

How often do we miss each other in our relationships because we communicate differently? There is hope. In today’s episode, we unpack some practical ideas to sharpen your communication so the two of you can connect well, be heard and understood, and grow together by being better equipped to get on the same page.

Becoming a skilled listener is one of the biggest keys to communicating better in your relationship. We also unpack a few ideas on how to listen deeper. Listen to the words that are not being said, and not only the words that are being said. Learning how to ask clarifying questions can make the world of a difference in this area.

“And they both lived happily ever after”… Said no one ever! A more accurate phrase would be along the lines of: “If only I knew…”

Most of us have been exposed to a steady stream of ideas about marriage that doesn’t serve us well. We think: “If I could only find ‘the one’, then my life would be complete”. Instead, many people fall in love, tie the knot, and then over time realise the reality of where they find themselves can be very far removed from what they thought when they said: “I do”.

Don’t get me wrong, marriage is probably one of the best experiences in life worth cultivating. But that’s the key. Great marriages don’t just happen, they are cultivated.

In this episode, we look at some widely held beliefs about marriage that are just plain “wrong” and we suggest a few alternatives that may just turn your life and relationship around altogether.

Relationships are never stagnant, they are always going somewhere. You are either intentionally moving towards oneness or you might be unintentionally drifting towards isolation.

FamilyLife exists because we know when people develop effective relationship skills, their relationships flourish. Learning how to better deal with conflict, express your needs more clearly, or actively listen to your partner are all skills we can grow in order to develop oneness in our relationship.

In this episode, we talk about the idea that relationships can flourish when we develop the skills that help take us there. In the same way, we work out at the gym or consider our diet if we want to get in shape, we can get into the best relational shape of our lives by upskilling in this area.

We hope this conversation will encourage you to take on the challenge of lifelong growth in developing your relationship skills.