Fantasy Baking Championship

It’s the finale, y’all! And we are all cordially invited to doff our fanciest duds and visit Hotel Henson for some killer nuptials! In a finale designed to truly celebrate our bakers’ craft - no tricks or twists or sudden deaths - we are treated to the cheesiest, dreamiest snacking boards and the most dramatic, delectable black wedding cakes we’ve ever seen. The BEST way to cap a killer season, and the best way to make OUR journey to the thirteenth floor, where these four dum dums are taking up residence! 

Halloween Baking Championship opens this week’s episode with the most terrifying taunt yet: John Henson as into a 1920’s thirst trap bartender.... MEOW, fellow bakers.  Me. OW.  After creating boozy throwback death eclairs in the pre-heat, our bakers must face their worst fears whilst producing not one, not two, but THREE ENTREMETS IN TWO HOURS.  What did we learn from this episode? A) Even terror sloths are adorable B) Zac is a killer baker, a drag queen AND a shark attack survivor C) Black Licorice can go to Hell? If you answered D) all of the above, you were watching the same episode as us! Break out that side of ranch and join us on the couch as we dish on the penultimate episode of season 8!

Is that a shard of glass in your eye, or are you just watching the grossest Halloween Baking Championship season ever? Maybe both (and we’re into it)!  HBC serves up a preheat full of jigglin’ eyeballs and heebie jeebies and then the bakers must twin out on identical cakes inspired by the creepy girls living in room 222.  The scariest part?  They all KILLED this challenge, which meant one beloved baker was sent to the 13th floor for the tiniest flaw.  Join us this week for your fill of eye veins, haunted bed ruffles, and horrifically good flavor combinations!

MEAT CAKES??? How do you spell “full body vocal gross-out shudder”?  Cause we did a LOT of that this episode, and we likey. Our bakers follow up some light arson in the preheat with quite possibly the grossest challenge (and CAKE: we’re lookin’ at you, Kristi) in Halloween baking history. We never would have expected a baking competition show to viscerally remind us that we are all quite literally made out of meat, but here we are. Top their incredible performances with the fact that Chris now has to bake a prosciutTOE cake, and these hosts give this episode five knives! 

Maggots, maggots, maggots! Halloween Baking Championship brings the noise and the funk this week in two heats designed to horrify our senses. In maybe the most disgusting thriller yet, the bakers were challenged to deliver us the most putrid, rotting dishes they could, using fermented ingredients and their grossest horror instincts. *insert hurl sound* We’ll be honest. The smashed dessert killer challenge was a little bit of a letdown after a thrilling pre-heat, but if it got John Henson to axe through a door Jackie Nic style, sign us up.  JOHN SMASH!!

No Thriller.  All Killer.  And, TWO bakers take a trip to the 13th floor ALL in a one hour episode??  Food Network, what are you doing to us?!  In this week's trip to Hotel Henson, our fearless bakers team up to create haunted maze cakes delicious enough to make anyone risk getting lost inside them.  Join us as we trim the delectable hedges on this episode, break down the fact that none of us know what an entremet is, bid a fond farewell to two of our beloved bakers and acknowledge the record-setting exit of one of our FBC hosts from the competition!

In a daring publicity stunt for his notorious hotel, John Henson announces a new pet-friendly policy with a celebrity appearance from Dreamworks’ Puss n’ Boots. In a challenge that makes as much sense as the cross-promotion, our beleaguered bakers must turn their Choux into shoes and try not to die doing it. Next, they must make that most famous cake none of us have ever heard of, the "soccer tour"*!  These chocolate cakes surprisingly featured zero yellow cards or athletic legs but DID include some beautiful mirror glazes.  

The episode culminated in a sudden-death bake off featuring two bakers we're not ready say good-bye to and the baked good every baker inexplicably hates: the cupcake.  OH THE HORROR!!!

* Sacher-Torte, if you're Austrian.

There's a crispness in the air and a spooky, pumpkin spice infused fog rolling in over the hill so, you know what that means...it's time for Food Network's Halloween Baking Championship, y'all!!  And for us four dumdums, that means it's DRAFT DAY!!  Join us as we prepare to check in to John Henson's 'Hotel of Horrors' by placing our team selection fates in the hands of the Wheel of Death™!  LET'S DO THIS!!

What the everloving CLUCK?!?   Spring Baking Championship caps off a doozy of a season with a sprinkle-covered nightmare of their own making! After our beloved contestants pour their hearts out in a tearjerker of a pre-heat, the show continues with the psychological torture springing a tone-deaf head-to-head, sudden death bake off on them, causing one of our beloved bakers to call it quits. WHEW. 

Has this show officially jumped the shark? Are they actually conducting a psychological experiment? On a lighter note, how badly do we all want to taste Jaleesa’s outrageous chocolate cake? Tune in as we celebrate these bakers one more time and slowly lose our minds as the spring chaos has one last crack at us all!