Episode 9 is part farewell tour, part fightback, and part VAR endurance test.

We start with the Matildas, who opened their Asian Cup campaign with 85% possession and a 1–0 win that probably should have been more — a solid start, but with gears still to find. In women’s cricket, Australia head into the deciding Test on top after the ODIs, with Alyssa Healy signing off from one-day internationals in style with 158, while Beth Mooney also helped herself to a century.

In Scotland it was a huge week across the Scottish Premiership. Hearts stretched their lead after dominating Aberdeen, while the Old Firm served up the usual chaos — Rangers racing 2–0 ahead before Celtic fought back for a 2–2 draw that leaves nobody happy but probably suits Celtic more.

We also run through a dramatic Premier League weekend, a ridiculous Josh Rock nine-darter in front of a bouncing home crowd, an anthem played at double speed, and look ahead to the AFL season restart and the return of Formula 1.

Plus the Falkirk Corner after a big win over Kilmarnock, and our resident Sickos fixture featuring Scotland’s women trying to end their winless run in a World Cup qualifier against Luxembourg.

Farewells, fightbacks, VAR delays and a bit of everything else — because as always, there’s No Such Thing as an Off Season.