Before we jump into the Untappd trenches, we take a look back at last week's feature film, It's a Whole Thing. We officially tore the lid off the wellness industry and exposed the dark underbelly of the "Big Bean" legume industrial complex. We also threw in a fun epilogue dusting off Victor Lancaster, revealing whether or not he actually got exploded by the Noble Stomach.

After a quick detour fueled by the pure childhood nostalgia of blowing into dusty 8-bit Nintendo cartridges just to get Double Dragon to work, we fire up the Untappd feed to bring you this week's Fast Five lineup:

The Pursuit (Breakside & Alma Madera Brewing): Set in a crime-ridden future, a guy with a meaningless job finds a flashy, Elton John-style sequined suit hidden in a pizza delivery bag. Instead of using its super speed and strength to fight crime, he uses it to dominate the gig economy and starts a tech company called "ChatBHB"

Free Lunch (BlackStack Brewing): A Quentin Tarantino-style action flick where four kids at a local diner steal a half-eaten fried chicken sandwich. Unfortunately for them, it belonged to the unkillable mob boss "El Duderino," who will stop at nothing to hunt them down

Ultrafine (Burial Beer Co.): An eerie thriller where an Avon-style Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) company sells a miraculous beauty cream. The terrifying twist? The cream carries a deadly curse, and the only way to free yourself is to recruit your friends and family into your downline. It's not capitalism—it's curse distribution

Cottage (Tall Oaks Farm and Brewery): A couple heads out for a romantic weekend to a serene, White Lotus-style bed and breakfast in the woods. As the sweet caretaker brings them fresh cakes and sherry, they notice the paintings on the walls look exactly like past guests. The horrifying truth? The cottage itself is an ancient, shape-shifting monster luring people in to eat them and pay off its credit card debts

True Love (Martin House Brewing): Set in a dystopian future where robots and AI companies arrange all marriages on your 18th birthday. No more Tinder, no more hoping—just your government-assigned soulmate

As always, only four survive. Head over to our Instagram right now and vote for your favorite pitch in the poll! Do you want a Tarantino sandwich chase? A cursed beauty MLM? The choice is yours.

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Find us on Untappd: Beer Me That Movie

Until next week... Peace, Punch, and Gimme Your Free Lunch!

00:00 - Intro

01:40 - Recap: It’s A Whole Thing

12:36 - BOTW: Something Cold

19:46 - Beer #1: The Pursuit

28:00 - Beer #2: Free Lunch

33:59 - Beer #3: UltraFine

40:16 - Beer #4: Cottage

47:08 - Beer #5: True Love

56:12 - Decision Time!