This is the last Fast Five ever... but Beer Me That Movie isn’t over.

After 48 Fast Fives, hundreds of beers, and thousands of votes, Jon and Harrison are turning five real craft-beer names into ridiculous movie pitches one final time. They’re drinking Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA, revisiting The Mystery, and giving you one last chance to choose the next feature film.

This Week’s Final Fast Five Movie Pitches:

Beer #1: Juice Box — A boxer is accused of killing his opponent with performance-enhancing drugs. Was he juicing—or was he set up? A perspective-shifting courtroom whodunit where even the juice box may get a say.

Beer #2: Auto Tune — A pitch-perfect madman creates technology that steals singers’ voices, drags Milli Vanilli into an international conspiracy, and forces the Sexy Nun to intervene.

Eliminated and sent to The Vault.

Beer #3: Massive Treat — Every kid dreams of finding the house with the king-size candy bars. But one house offers something even bigger—and no child who has claimed it has ever returned.

Beer #4: Five Out of Five Stars — A picturesque small-town inn has maintained a perfect rating for years. When one difficult guest leaves a half-star review, the townspeople hunt him down to protect their reputation at any cost.

Beer #5: Frequent Flyer — A lonely hospital regular arrives with a mysterious growth that won’t stop getting bigger. Is it a parasite, an alien—or the beginning of something much worse?

VOTE FOR THE WINNER on our Instagram!

Vote in the Vault for our 50th Feature Film:

https://beermethatmovie.com/

Leave us a message and make your vote count twice:

https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie

Share this episode with a friend and help us choose the next Beer Me That Movie feature film.

CHAPTERS

00:00 – Cold Open

00:56 – The Final Fast Five Begins

03:24 – Recap: The Mystery

12:11 – Beer of the Week: Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA

15:17 – One Last Voting Pitch

17:51 – Beer #1: Juice Box

23:49 – Beer #2: Auto Tune

30:02 – Beer #3: Massive Treat

35:15 – Beer #4: Five Out of Five Stars

40:52 – Beer #5: Frequent Flyer

48:49 – The Final Elimination

50:46 – Your Final Fast Five Ballot

"If the USDA arrives before you call them—hide the fish-man."What happens when a failed salesman named Mike H accidentally cracks open a pre-Egyptian alien vault beneath rural Iowa? He discovers the Anunnaki’s discarded rough drafts of humanity: fish-men, dog-headed weirdos, alligator-jawed bruisers—and one enormous opportunity.Inspired by Mike H’s check-in of Tree House Brewing’s “The Mystery,” we’re building a cosmic-conspiracy comedy packed with roadside attractions, crop circles, government cover-ups, and an extraterrestrial middle manager desperate to hide his mistakes from Corporate.INSIDE THE EPISODE-The Beer Hook: How Tree House Brewing’s “The Mystery” and Mike H inspired Feature #48.-Something Beneath Iowa: One illegal M80 cracks open a vault older than the pyramids.-The Approved Batch: Gill, Snout, Sheila, and the forgotten prototypes that came before humanity.-The Greatest Show Off Earth: Mike turns an ancient genetic disaster into the Midwest’s hottest roadside circus.-The Cornfield Conspiracy: Tammy Twilight connects the USDA, crop circles, and a suspicious threat to “Lake Iowa.”-Alien Middle Management: Fred arrives wearing his Apollo-era human disguise and carrying a whistle that controls the creatures.-The Crop-Circle Roundup: Mike must rescue his new friends—and sell Fred on committing intergalactic corporate fraud.💬 WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!Which rejected Anunnaki prototype would you want as your roadside-circus roommate: Gill, Snout, or Sheila?And remember: if the USDA showed up before you called them, what would you hide first?👥 CONNECT WITH USWebsite: beermethatmovie.comInstagram: @beermethatmovie00:00:00 - Intro00:03:39 - A Short Message From BMTM00:05:12 - Act 1: SOMETHING UNDER IOWA00:37:54 - Act 2: THE GREATEST SHOW OFF EARTH01:06:28 - Act 3: THE CROP-CIRCLE ROUNDUP01:20:00 - Epilogue: Acceptable Chaos

This Week's Fast Five Movie Pitches:

• Beer #1: Mind Plant – When common houseplants suddenly gain sentience, one man sees their terrifying evolution as a divine miracle straight from the heavens—while the rest of the world watches the vines reclaim the concrete and sees a clear sign of the end times. They are aware... and they are angry.

• Beer #2: The Mystery – A group of rural kids exploring a hidden quarry lake stumble upon an impossible discovery: ancient, prehistoric creatures created long before humanity. Turns out mermaids are incredibly real, alligator people exist, and these teenagers are left with a lot of awkward questions about interspecies romance.

• Beer #3: Death On Two Legs – A stylized, high-contrast neo-noir thriller where a glamorous, fast-talking woman in a sharp suit steps into the dark alleyways of the city to help a overworked, stressed-out Grim Reaper manage his daily schedule. He works. She helps.

• Beer #4: I’m The Highway – A gritty, rain-slicked road movie tracking a rugged long-haul trucker who finds himself acting as a sudden guardian angel when he saves a runaway teenage girl who is in way, way over her head.

• Beer #5: Eager To Share – A heartwarming, whimsical tale of a kid who spends his entire childhood blowing through his father's vast savings on wild, imaginative adventures to uncover a great hidden treasure—only to dig up the backyard and realize the real wealth was right in front of him all along.

VOTE FOR THE WINNER:Head over to our Instagram stories right now to cast your official vote! Are we tracking sentient foliage next week, or are we deep in the swamp solving ancient secrets?

"Find the rat. Stop the explosion. Don’t get thrown in the space psych ward."

What happens when your shift as an overworked, blue-collar asteroid miner gets interrupted by your massive corporate mothership instantly vaporizing into dust? If you're Constant—the most unflappable scout pilot in the outer solar system—you get thrown backward in time and forced to hunt down a ship saboteur before the timeline catches up.

Inspired by Original Pattern Brewing's "On a Whim" beer, we are world-building a hilarious, claustrophobic, and deeply chaotic sci-fi thriller. From zero-G space pests to the horrific realities of "Tube Soup boarding," this episode goes completely off the rails.

Grab a cold beer, prepare Uranus, and let's find out if survival can be done... ON A WHIM.

• The Beer Hook: How Original Pattern Brewing's "On a Whim" inspired this entire project.

• Welcome to the Whim: Breaking down the tiny, claustrophobic ships and the corporate marketing lies behind them.

• The Anomaly: A green portal, a mysterious 3-fingered alien, and a giant explosion in the Kuiper Belt.

• The "We Aren't Crazy" Pact: Constant and Hap panic to create a cover story inside the pod.

• The Hunt for Rat October: Navigating a ship full of disgruntled space slaves and actual, wire-chewing space rats.

• Interrogating the Miners: Constant searches for clues using a brutal round of "Tube Soup boarding."

• The Loop Closes: The mind-bending paradox of three Constants, a clever trap for the aliens, and a final, sinister revelation.

  
  

1. If you were trapped in a 99-year corporate space-mining contract, what would you do to get out?

2. Did humanity accidentally mine Pluto out of existence? Give us your best conspiracy theories in the comments!

   
   

• Website: beermethatmovie.com

• Instagram: @beermethatmovie

  
  

  #SciFiPodcast #WorldBuilding #ImprovComedy #SpaceHorror #TimeLoop #RetroFuturism

Ladies, gentlemen, rogue ice runners, and victims of the front lawn—welcome to Fast Five #45! We are back to turning your Thursday night Untappd check-ins into Hollywood cinematic gold, all while attempting to jumpstart a 20-foot Hyundai long boat and coasting uphill into another chaotic week.

Before we open up the feed, we zoom out to look at last week's deeply philosophical, rural monster-thriller feature film, Copy That. We recap Bob's tragic study in modern social media loneliness, the tactical use of black light dye, and how a shape-shifting alien entity managed to infiltrate Congress. Plus, the glorious return of everyone's favorite clog-wearing, evil-hunting legend—Big Nose—in an epilogue that saves the world from a Manchurian population crisis.

Tonight’s liquid inspiration is Eastern Gold from The Drowned Lands Brewery, a surprisingly complex 4.7% blonde ale hitting us with notes of graham crackers and sweet honey grapefruit on the nose (which Jon snorted straight into his brain canal, obviously).

• Slow Melt: A 2126 post-apocalyptic frozen tundra adventure following Ken and a crew of swashbuckling ice pirates harvesting fresh-water glaciers while dodging giant mutated polar bears.
• On A Whim: A high-stakes Hunt for Red October space-mining mystery featuring green time-travel portals, asteroid whimers, and a desperate race to stop a massive flagship explosion.
• Sleep State: A terrifying Severance-style corporate nightmare where an Elon Tusk tech monopoly hijacks your REM cycle to force you into unpaid dream labor upvoting pictures of ham bones.
• Grass Attack: The ultimate eco-horror thriller that will do to your front yard what Jaws did to the ocean. When the lawn wants revenge, the Miracle-Gro hits back.
• Bits and Bobs: Ai sex robots are real! What does this mean for humanity and what will it do to wifi costs?

👇 Help us keep the lights on in the shed! Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieVote in The Vault: beermethatmovie.comFollow us on Instagram: @beermethatmovieFind us on Untappd: Beer Me That Movie

Until next week... Peace, Punch, and don't snort your IPAs unless you're ready to fight the Pope!

Grab 2 cold ones because on this edition of Beer Me That Movie, Jon and Harrison are breaking down the script for the ultimate localized identity crisis and high-stakes psychological mind game: COPY THAT.

When a congressman's daughter goes missing in the dense, fog-covered West Virginia mountains, a jaded local sheriff and a hyper-serious rookie FBI agent team up to track a kidnapper—only to discover a 5,000-year-old subterranean acoustic mimic has already systematically harvested, cloned, and replaced the entire town.

From implementing strict, high-stakes Rick Astley walkie-talkie protocols to the utter psychological defeat of discovering your own house has been systematically upper-decked by your own clone, this episode is packed with deep Appalachian dread, broken Italian accents, and an existential rug-pull that proves the monster is really just playing with its food.

Pour yourself a drink, check your ceiling for blacklight stains, and hit that subscribe button!

#BeerMeThatMovie #CopyThat #AppalachianHorror #MoviePodcast #PsychologicalThriller #Cryptids #Folklore #GhostCat #PodcastEpisode

00:00:00 - Start

00:04:02 - Ad Break

00:05:35 - Act 1: The Folklore in the Woods

00:11:08 - Marker 6

00:39:03 - Act 2: The Walkie-Talkie Matrix

01:03:38 - Act 3: Playing with His Dinner

01:21:44 - Epilogue: Big Knows

THE BALLOT BOX IS OPEN, THE PIT IS HUNGRY, AND THE ALGORITHM DEMANDS A CHOICE.

Before we unleash five pristine, highly explosive narrative frameworks upon your ears—and before you judge the fact that Jon is currently eating cold, leftover cocktail shrimp out of a Tupperware container—we have a vital public service announcement: We have no corporate overlords. We are fueled strictly by your uncoerced generosity, the lingering scent of damp cardboard, and external validation. Head over to beermethatmovie.com to lock in your votes and help us prove to our families that this isn't just an elaborate, multi-year cry for help!

But first, we toast last week’s recursive masterpiece, Double Jacked, with the Beer of the Week: New Belgium's limited-time re-release of their classic Fat Tire recipe.

Four of these beautiful brews will make the cut for the next round, but only ONE will be strapped to the rocket ship of destiny to become our monumentally chaotic 46th Feature Film!

THE FAST FIVE LINEUP

Grab a cold one (or a warm gallon of whole milk, if you're Jono), because on this special National Long Island Ice Tea Day edition of Beer Me That Movie, Jon and Harrison are breaking down the script for the ultimate gravity-defying, heist-of-the-century block-blaster: DOUBLE JACKED.

When London’s Anti-Gravity Cores go offline, the financial district goes floating, double-decker buses become kites, and a legendary phantom thief starts double-crossing the robbers while aggressively maintaining upside-down eye contact.

From the hyper-pressurized chaos of the Zero-G Bidet to a luxury Ferrari driving vertically down the face of a crumbling Shard skyscraper, this episode is packed with high-velocity thrust, unmatched torque, and a shocking crossover that bridges the gap straight to the Gabagool Timeline.

Pour yourself a drink, check your center of mass, and hit that subscribe button!

#BeerMeThatMovie #DoubleJacked #ZeroGravity #MoviePodcast #ActionMovies #SciFiHeist #GabagoolTimeline #PodcastEpisode

00:00:00 - Start

00:03:01 - Check Out Our Website

00:04:07 - Act 1: The Weightless Target

00:32:20 - Act 2: The Three-Way Friction

00:59:07 - Act 3: The Triple Jack Showcase

01:20:50 - Epilogue: The Transatlantic Signal

Welcome to Fast Five #43!

Before we jump into the digital beer swamp, we take a look in the rearview mirror to recap last week's triumphant feature film from last week - "All This From a Slice of Gabagool" which is a sequel to Feature #9 "The Hustle Is Weird"

With the tank full, we shift into high gear and dive straight into the live Untappd feed to bring you this week's Fast Five lineup:

Cave: A dark, mythical quest where a desperate witch tries to enter a forbidden cave that promises eternal life—if she can survive whatever ancient evil is guarding it.

Super Ripe: A man stumbles upon a mysterious tree bearing strange, super-ripe fruit that makes him grow younger with every bite. But he quickly learns that reverse-aging comes with a terrifying cost.

Double Jack: A fast-paced, high-stakes heist thriller about an elite, specialized robber whose only targets are other, much more dangerous robbers.

Wizardry: A young boy unexpectedly gains immense magical powers. Now he has to decide: will he use them for good, or let the dark temptations of wizardry take over his life?

Searching for the Stone: A frantic romantic comedy where a man spontaneously gets engaged to a girl he barely knows, sending him on a chaotic, globe-trotting mission "searching for the stone" to make it official before she realizes what's happening.

This leaves the remaining four contenders completely in your hands! You have roughly 24 hours to influence next Wednesday's full-length feature film direction. Head directly to our Instagram, Spotify poll, or YouTube comments right now and cast your vote. Don't mess this up!

👇 Help us keep the lights on in the shed! (And as a quick reminder, we don't stop the show to sell you mushroom coffee, sketchy VPNs, or artisanal beard oil made from Viking tears.) Leave us a voice message:

speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie

Vote in The Vault: beermethatmovie.com

Follow us on Instagram: @beermethatmovie

Find us on Untappd: Beer Me That Movie

Until next week... Peace, Punch, Gimme Your Lunch!

00:00 - Start

02:13 - Recap: All This From A Slice Of Gabagool

13:30 - BOTW: Bright - Burial

20:09 - Beer #1 - Cave

27:04 - Beer #2 - Super Ripe

34:23 - Beer #3 - Double Jack

41:02 - Beer #4 - Wizardry

47:30 - Beer #5 - Searching For The Stone

54:44 - Decision Time!

In a world where a Cleveland sandwich shop is the frontline defense against the underworld, one man must choose between his legacy on the baseball diamond and his shift at the deli. Welcome to the highly anticipated official sequel to The Hustle Is Weird!

Josh is a rising Minor League baseball star who just tied the home run record. He returns home to Mentor, Ohio for the All-Star break, eagerly anticipating a relaxing week filled with Paulie's famous sandwiches . But instead of a triumphant homecoming, Josh finds a muted, quiet town that has been mysteriously drained of all its joy, passion, and flavor. The culprit is their old demonic nemesis, Juliano, who is siphoning the town's energy using cursed jars of "Pre-Minced Garlic" distributed by a sinister front company called 666 Meat, Cheese, and More.

To stop the demonic apocalypse from fully consuming the town, Josh and Paulie must reunite the four rival Italian deli families using the "Imperial Gabagool"—a sacred, well-aged hunk of cured meat that invokes a powerful Smoked Meat Pact.

Armed with holy baseball bats, garlic ropes, and pockets full of passionately delicious gabagool, the deli gang must crash the Mid-Season Minor League All-Star Dinner to save the baseball players—and the world—from becoming Juliano's new demon army.

🎧 Connect With Us:

Website: beermethatmovie.com

Instagram: @beermethatmovie

Leave a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie

Head over to the website to vote on your favorite past Fast Five ideas in The Vault!

00:00:00 - Start

00:04:18 - Ad Break (Sort Of)

00:05:41 - Act 1: wHELLcome Home

00:34:09 - Act 2: The Pre-Minced Madness

00:47:31 - Act 3: The Family Reunion….

01:16:50 - Epilogue: The New Grind