Fat Guys at the Movies

Rated PG

Based on the Tony Award-winning musical, WICKED takes an alternative look at the villain from THE WIZARD OF OZ and her friendship with Glinda the Good in school.

The tragic villain backstory has been done many times before – from Maleficent and Cruella Da Vil to Darth Vader and Magneto. Both Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo do fine jobs making the parts their own. We knew they could sing, but their acting really brings the movie to life.

Along with eye-popping production design and a handful of fantastic songs (as well as too much padded exposition in middling show tunes), this is everything the Broadway fan wants.

The Achilles’ heel is the punishing 2 hour 41 minute running time… and that’s only half of the story. WICKED: PART 2 comes out this time next year.

The first two hours drag with needlessly bloated subplots that never resolve, and unfortunately that makes for a mixed bag.

WICKED gets three broomsticks out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG-13

RED ONE takes us to the North Pole where Santa Claus is kidnapped by an evil witch bent on punishing the naughty. It’s up to Santa’s bodyguard and a notorious criminal to save him and the holiday itself.

I get what they were thinking when they made this, which was to deliver a FAST & FURIOUS version of Christmas. But they’ve stripped out all the holiday cheer and replaced it with performative masculinity and enough testosterone to kill a bull elephant.

Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans phone in their parts, cashing in on their blockbuster career highlights. And the script is loaded with Yuletide movie clichés – from the redemption of a deadbeat dad to the hyper-techno upgrades to Santa’s workshop – but none of it is presented in any coherent form.

There are a few decent moments – I’m looking at you, Krampus – but for a movie so focused on Christmas… there’s not much Christmas spirit in it.

RED ONE gets two roided-out candy canes out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG

First up is THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER, an adaptation of the beloved children’s book. The story follows a family of problematic children who take over a church’s annual Christmas pageant. And while everyone thinks it will be a disaster, things take a surprising turn.

The people making this film certainly have their hearts in the right place, putting together a charming and light-hearted movie that delivers some appropriate messaging.

The film tries to evoke the kids-eye-view that we see so wonderfully in A CHRISTMAS STORY, though when the adults turn a blind eye to the shenanigans, they just come across as horrible parents and leaders. This, along with some archaic stereotypes, rings sour at times.

The movie doesn’t hold the same punch as some of the classics like A CHRISTMAS STORY, but it’s still a sweet film with a committed cast.

I’m not sure if it will be a perennial favorite, but it makes for a nice slice of entertainment for the family audience.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER gets three snowballs out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG-13

HERE tells the story of a home, starting from wilderness in prehistoric times to the life of (mostly) one family. Hanks and Wright play a couple we see go from high school to retirement and the struggles they face over the years.

Zemeckis is a talented director, but he often gets distracted by gimmick filmmaking. And make no mistake, HERE’s one camera set-up perspective is the ultimate gimmick. It’s got some interesting moments, but it is loaded with challenges.

HERE tries to show a mosaic of American families, but struggles to avoid idealizing even the toughest times. And with the fly-on-the-wall perspective, too many moments feel like the stilted opening scene of a stage play. Only the acting of Hanks and Wright carry us beyond that.

As real as the human experiences are in this film, this reality reveals too many insufferable characters I couldn’t care less about.

Technically impressive but dull from the story perspective, HERE gets two bay windows out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG-13

VENOM: THE LAST DANCE finds Eddie Brock and his symbiote on the lam while an immortal being from outer space is sending an army to search for Venom. Meanwhile, under a decommissioned Area 51, a group of scientists are tinkering with other alien symbiotes.

If you liked the first two VENOM movies, you should enjoy this one because it is entirely the same type of film. Unfortunately, those movies have all be sub-par superhero pulp that feel like they were stripped from the 90s.

A surprisingly good cast – including Tom Hardy, Juno Temple, and Chewitel Ejiofor – struggle to carry the silly script, which feels like it was written by a group of hyperactive children on a diet of sugar cereal and Pixy Stix.

Goofier than the later Thor movies with overdone goopy visual effects, this superhero flick is fine, but like the other two, could have been so much better.

VENOM: THE LAST DANCE gets two and a half alien blobs out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated R

SMILE 2 follows a trouble pop star on the verge of a world tour. She witnesses a traumatic event and then discovers an entity has attached itself to her, appearing as horrifying visions of people smiling.

Where the first film was a lower-budgeted slow burn, this one goes big with intensity. Not just with jump scares and sound effects, but with a pounding soundtrack meant to be heard in the loudest cinema possible. Along with TRAP, it’s the second what if this happened to Taylor Swift thriller this year.

Noami Scott is the MVP, carrying the film and never behaving like the horror genre is beneath her. Her commitment to the character keeps things real… even if it’s loaded with dark fantasy.

Like other movies about a curse following victims – like THE RING or IT FOLLOWS – the SMILE series offers some interesting allegorical moments, even if the trauma-as-horror trope is a bit overworked.

Visually interesting and loaded with shocking moments, SMILE 2 gets three and a half grins out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated R

SATURDAY NIGHT is a real-time look at the chaos that surrounded the production leading up to its premier in 1975.

Jason Reitman directs an ensemble cast that takes you through the infighting, unprofessionalism, and unrelenting mayhem of that first night.

This is a striking look at what has become an institution, back when it was nothing more than rowdy, drug-fueled, experimental television. The show’s humble, rag-tag origins provides a stark contrast to what it has become.

The actors manage to rise above caricatures of the original players, offering some humanity for most of them beyond their antics. So fans of the show’s early years should find it relatable.

It’s a fast-paced and intense look at what live TV used to be. Sure, it runs a bit too long… but isn’t that quintessential SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE?

SATURDAY NIGHT gets three and a half hot mics out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated R

Now, JOKER: FOLIE À DEUX continues the story of Arthur Fleck as he faces Gotham’s justice system. In Arkham Asylum, he meets the mysterious Harleen Quinzel, and she latches onto him for his infamy.

There are some very strong elements here, including compelling performances by both Joaquin Phoenix and Lady Gaga. The grim cinematography has a beautiful, gritty look. And the movie channels films like THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION and ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST.

However, it also stumbles by not quite nailing the homage like the first film did with Scorsese’s TAXI DRIVER and THE KING OF COMEDY.

Purporting to be a musical version of a twisted romance, the songs are well constructed but overstay their welcome. And that’s a shame because those are some of the best moments in the film. Unfortunately, they put a drag on the bloated running time, which clocks in at well over two hours.

Ultimately worth a look, but loaded with problems, JOKER: FOLIE À DEUX gets three playing cards out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG

Based on the best-selling children’s book, THE WILD ROBOT tells the story of a service droid that crashes on a forest island and has to survive. She takes it upon herself to raise an orphaned gosling and strikes up a friendly relationship with a lone fox. They must learn to live together and unite the animals of the forest against an outside threat.

This film manages to focus on two things extremely popular with kids: robots and forest creatures. Even though these seem very different, they blend together quite well to make a film about finding goodness inside.

This animated gem works great for the kids, but it also juggles some heavier, mature elements that will connect with the adults in the audience.

With a strong but not overpowering cast, and universal themes of community and altruism, THE WILD ROBOT offers a sweet, charming, and uplifting family film.

THE WILD ROBOT gets four cute critters out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG

TRANSFORMERS ONE is a prequel that shows the origins of hero Optimus Prime and villain Megatron. The story goes back to their home world when they were young robots who fought together against an oppressive leader.

I don’t care how much the other movies have made, having a Transformers movie free of the chaos and beer-commercial filmmaking of Michael Bay is a breath of fresh air. Sure, it’s still noisy, cluttered and bombastic, but at least this movie is coherent.

As an animated film, it taps into the sugar-cereal-fueled excitement of Saturday morning cartoons, so it should be a winner for the kids that have these any of these various toys.

It has a limited reach to the adults in the room, but it mercifully doesn’t overstay its welcome… unlike most of the bloated live-action movies in the series.

Come for the robots, and stay for the child-like fun. TRANSFORMERS ONE gets three Autobots out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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