One day, a financially successful enough father decides to take his son to the countryside to show him how poor some people may happen to be in contrast to them, who live in a nice house in the suburbs of a big city. Like this, his son could understand the value of things, and how lucky he is. So they…

A greedy old miser dies alone. In his will he's divided his fortune between his pastor, his doctor, and his lawyer with one last request... The old man's will states that he wishes to take his fortune with him. His final request is that these three, the last man on earth he feels he can trust, each bring…

After years of putting money into a savings account, a wife tells her stay-at-home husband the good news: “Honey, we’ve finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.” Her husband blushes with giddy excitement. “You mean a brand-new Cadillac?” he asks. “No,” says the wife, “a 1979…

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well.” ― Mark Twain “Procrastination always gives you something to look forward to.” ― Joan Konner “Procrastination is the thief of time” ― Edward Young We are all guilty of some procrastination. However, the Gospel should be…

When you have been married a long time you have freedom to say anything you want to them. A man named Danny was looking in the mirror the other day as his wife, Jenny, passed by. “Honey, all I see when I look in the mirror is a fat, ugly, old man. I could really use a compliment.” Jenny replied, “Right,…

Secular - George came home from University in tears. "Mom, am I adopted?" "No of course not!", replied his mother. "Why would you think such a thing?" George showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city.…

Bobby was sitting on the porch talking to his grandpa when he innocently asked: “Grandpa, do you know how to make animal sounds?” “I sure do,” Grandpa replied. “What sort of animal sound would you like to hear?” “How about a toad? Do you know how to sound like a toad?” “Sure”, Grandpa said, cupping his…

Secular - During a wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. He said, "I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where it asks if I promise to 'love, honor, cherish' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd…

A priest, Let’s call him John, buys a lawn mower at a yard sale. The owner of the lawn mower is named Bob. John Takes his new mower home and he pulls on the starter rope a few times with no results. Well John is ticked that he got taken. He storms back to the yard sale and tells the Bob, the previous…