Featuring Sean

Gross.

If you wanna join you gotta get fucked in. It's explained in way more depth in the manga.

"Yeesh. Like absolutely no judgement, you do you, like it's totally fine, you have a different body type than me anyway, so like nobody will notice. But seriously that's like soooo much food, I'm gonna puke looking at you—I mean it. Bradley's taking us all out on the boat tomorrow and I just want to look like so fucking skinny and like breakable, no one will even notice you. Don't worry. Like my doctor said I'm anemic but it's like he's fucking fat, so what can he fucking say. If you're not as skinny as me, you're fat, and if you're skinner than me, I'll do adderall and vape until you look like a fatty, sloppy, homely, muddy cow with stretch marks, and then it's like, ew shut the fuck up."

"Sir, this is a Wendy's."

"Oh my god shut the fuck up, you're disgusting...how do I look?"

To the town of Agua Fria

Rode a stranger one fine DAN

Hardly spoke to folks around him

DAN't have too much to say

No one DANed to ask his business

No one DANed to make a slip

The stranger there among them

Had a big DAN on his DAN

Big DAN on his DAN

[Verse 2]

It was early in the morning

When he rode into the DAN

He came riding from the south DAN

Slowly looking all around

"He's an outlaw loose and running"

Came the whisper from each DAN

"And he's here to do some business

With the big DAN on his DAN"

Big DAN on his DAN

[Verse 3]

In this town there lived an outlaw

By the name of Texas DAN

Many DANs had tried to DAN him

And that many DANs were DAN

He was vicious and a killer

Though a youth of twenty-DAN

And the notches on his pistol

DANed one and nineteen DAN

One and nineteen DAN

[Verse 4]

Now the stranger started DANing

Made it plain to DANs around

Was an Arizona DAN

Wouldn't be too long in DAN

He came here to take an DAN

Back alive, or maybe DAN

And he said it DAN't matter

He was after Texas DAN

After Texas DAN

[Verse 5]

Wasn't long before the story

Was relayed to Texas DAN

But the outlaw didn't worry

DAN that tried before were DAN

Twenty DANs had tried to take him

Twenty DANs had made a slip

Twenty-one would be the DAN

With the big DAN on his DAN

Big DAN on his DAN

[Verse 6]

The morning passed so quickly

It was time for them to DAN

It was twenty past eleven

When they walked out in the DAN

DANs were watching from the windows

EveryDAN held their breath

They knew this handsome DAN

Was about to meet his DAN

'Bout to meet his DAN

[Verse 7]

There was forty feet between them

When they stopped to make their DAN

And the DANness of the DAN

Is still talked about to-DAN

Texas DAN had not cleared leather

'Fore a bullet fairly ripped

And the DAN's DAN was DANly

With the big DAN on his DAN

Big DAN on his DAN

[Verse 8]

It was over in a DAN

And the DANs had gathered DAN

There before them lay the body

Of the outlaw on the DAN

Oh, he might have went on DANin'

But he made one fatal slip

When he tried to match the DAN

With the big DAN on his DAN

Big DAN on his DAN

[Outro]

Big DAN, big DAN

When he tried to match the DAN

With the big DAN on his DAN

Big DAN on his DAN

The show Beef is actually about their hands.

What's up Seans!? You're in for a treat, we got our first guest on the show this week.

And look Smart to Memphis is sad, but you're gonna be fine Celtics fans. The trade was good. Everyone will be kneeling to Wembanyama soon anyway.

pregnant b*tch t*tt*es

But the very next day you served me with a restraining order, so I pissed in the bed of your husband's truck like a week ago...Yeah me and the boys are smoking cat nip again.

ANNOUNCER V/O: And on this week's episode, you know it, you love it, your favorite grass from the backyard, LAWN!!!

WILLIAM TAFFYPENIS: Great to see again, Lawn. How long's it been?

LAWN: More like, "how Lawn's it been?"

CO-HOST #2: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

CLINT EASTWOOD (mumbling): Fucking ******* grass.

WILLIAM TAFFYPENIS: Charming as ever. But getting right into it, you shocked the world when you came out publically about your sod transplant and fertalizer injections. By letting us all in on your transformation, you opened yourself up to quite a bit of backlash on social media—from hateful comments, to public threats, what has all this been like for you?

LAWN: Well Bill, first I'd like to thank you for having me on. It's so great to be here!

CO-HOST #2: WOOOOOOOO

LAWN: There was a lot of hate, there was a lot of hate, but there was also a lot of love and support too.

CLINT EASTWOOD (mumbling): Goddamn jew grass.

LAWN: When I decided to get the augmentations, I knew that I had to be real with my fans, cause I owed it to them for their love and support all these years.

WILLIAM TAFFYPENIS: You said, "when you decided," when did you decide? An ultimately why did you decide?

LAWN: Yeah, that's a great question. I decided to do it because I wanted to look how I felt inside. An inside I am a luscious thick sheet of green grass that's covered in rabbit shit, and I needed my appearance to reflect that. It's my identity.

CO-HOST #2: Identity?

CLINT EASTWOOD (mumbling): Bitch-ass waifu-ass grass. Fucking simp. Why don't you outside and touch yourself.

CO-HOST #2: Identity.

WILLIAM TAFFYPENIS: And I am a man that absolutelty cannot get hard. But put me in a child's mouth and I taste like strawberries! OH!

CO-HOST #2: Identity! Identity! Identity!!

WILLIAM TAFFYPENIS: Well that does it for us! Thank you for coming on the show Lawn! We got to go because my attonery just informed me that after my latest catfishing, the charges are gonna stick this time. (laughs triumphantly) That's what they always say. Aren't attorney's such a nag? And look at that, my co-host has just torn off all of Clint Eastwood's limbs. Things are turning into a real Nope situation over here. Thanks for joining us!

LAWN: Thank you!! Wooo! I love you all!

John gets turned into the authorities when his gf finds jockey porn on an external harddrive. I pitch a successful sandwich business. Bryan gets congested *wink*