I recorded this episode a few times before finding what felt right because I didn’t want to just go over all the viral posts like the ones that said things like “gentle parenting is raising brats, gentle parenting has gone too far, we are raising kids who are too soft…” there were more but I think you get the point. I feel like that conversation’s already been done.

Instead I’m sharing what those posts brought up in me especially as someone who leaned hard on gentle parenting when I first became a mum. I thought if I just followed all the right scripts, I wouldn’t mess up my kids. But over time, it started to feel rigid. Robotic. Disconnected from what my kids and my nervous system actually needed.

In this episode, I talk about:

* Why gentle parenting stopped feeling good for me

* What I’ve found instead in high nurture parenting

* And how shifting away from perfection and into connection has been deeply healing

If you’re curious about high nurture, I highly recommend The Nurture Revolution by Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum.

I’d love to know what’s your experience with gentle parenting? Does it feel like it’s helping or like something’s missing?

I wanted to talk about this post by @goodnightmoonchild and @earthmilkmoon

When I sat down to record this the post was sitting around 400 comments and now at the time of posting it’s at over 500.

There were a lot of different opinions. Some people loved it. Others said it was giving tradwife and the post was called reductive, unrealistic and bashing mothers who choose to work.

But here’s what I saw:

I saw a post that called out what a lot of us are thinking but don’t talk about. That if is ok to reevaluate what matters, to take a pause, to slow down, to forgo the extras and be creative about it.

A great reminder that you don’t have to justify wanting more presence, more time and more connection with your kids.

👇 Let me know what it brings up for you and if you are-how you are choosing to get creative?

Thanks for reading Feeding to Sleep! Subscribe for free to receive new podcast episodes.

For the mothers who feel like they have to be chill, be calm, be perfect.

We are mothering without a map. We are navigating new ways of being and we weren’t taught what that would look like.

When you go on Instagram you see a mix of messaging. On one hand you see be chill, be calm don’t yell don’t get mad you need to be calm and regulated all the time. The next you see don’t express your big emotions or you’ll ruin your kids. Don’t be too hard and don’t be too soft.

Which kicks up shame when you do feel an emotion that isn’t calm or happy.

You aren’t broken if you get frustrated or yell. You are human.

What matters is that you come back. You repair. I know from my experience being a kid that an apology and explanation would have been so helpful.

There really is power in repair.

Something I’m trying to keep in mind when night wakes get frustrating. I feel like it’s been helping so I thought I would share.

Hi, I’m Jess. Welcome back to Feeding to Sleep, where we talk about biologically normal baby sleep, responsive nights, and what it really feels like to care for a little one day and night.

In this episode, I’m sharing a story I nearly didn’t record. It’s raw, it’s recent, and it’s honest.

Over the past few weeks, we went through a tough patch with my baby’s sleep he was waking every hour, rolling, pinching, teething, sickness… all of it. And I found myself waking up full of rage.

Which then brought on the guilt: I know this is normal, I talk about it all the time, why can’t I cope better?

In this episode I talk about:

* What this season looked like for us

* The moment I realised there was nothing I could “fix”

* What actually helped me feel more resourced

* Why not all support feels supportive (and how to spot the difference)

* How I’m doing now that we’ve come through the other side

If you’re in it right now too, I want you to know this: you’re not doing anything wrong.

This isn’t about having all the answers.

Sometimes what helps most is just knowing that you’re not alone.

Here’s the Q&A I talked about in the episode with @jillianmothers on Instagram.

Have you been through a hard time with sleep at this age (10–14 months)? What helped you feel more supported? I’d Hit reply or leave a comment so we can keep this conversation going.

With love + support,Jess

P.S. If your baby’s sleep feels harder right now than it did a few months ago, you’re not doing anything wrong. Some seasons ask more of us and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you might need a little more care too.

This week’s episode, I’m responding to a Reel (and the full YouTube video behind it) where a doctor lays out a strict sleep training plan and claims it’s not just about sleep, it’s about healing generational trauma.

But here’s what’s actually being advised:

* A rigid, clock-based routine: same wake time, same naps, same bedtime every day.

* Wake your baby up if they fall asleep in your arms so you can put them down "awake."

* Let them cry for 20 to 30 minutes repeatedly.

* And if that’s hard for you? That’s your trauma. Not your instincts.

And I just… no.

In this episode, I talk about why this messaging is not healing, it’s pressure.

Why I believe healing doesn’t come from withdrawing love or ignoring a crying baby.

And why your discomfort isn’t proof that you’re broken, it’s proof that you care.

Receive new posts about biologically normal baby sleep and feeding and consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Here’s what I dive into in this episode:

* Why letting your baby cry isn’t a parenting skill

* How maternal instincts are being dismissed as emotional dysfunction

* The deeply gendered and outdated history of mainstream sleep training

* What the science actually says about how mothers and fathers respond to infant cries

* Why healing can look like cuddling, feeding, rocking, and following your baby’s cues

* And a personal story about how responsive parenting helped me begin to heal my own childhood wounds

Referenced in this episode:

Neuroscience of parental response to crying:

* Parsons et al., 2016: Mothers show increased activity in emotional regulation and empathy regions in response to baby cries (Social Neuroscience).

* Abraham et al., 2014: Mothers’ and fathers’ brains activate differently, mothers with emotional regulation, fathers more with logic and problem-solving (PNAS).

Historical context:

* Dr. Emmett Holt (1894) and Dr. Richard Ferber (1980s) popularized rigid, non-responsive sleep training methods. Both men. Neither developed these ideas from hands-on caregiving.

Closing quote from:The Nurture Revolution by Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum

“In order to build a brain that is resilient, healthy, and able to withstand adversity later in life, babies need brain-nurturing experiences while they are developing.”

If you’ve ever felt like your instincts were the problem… they’re not.

Responding to your baby is not weak.Wanting to hold them, comfort them, or keep them close is not trauma.

It’s connection.

It’s caregiving.

It’s the work of real healing.

With love + support,Jess

Feeding to Sleep

P.S. Have you seen this kind of messaging online lately? Did it make you feel confused, frustrated, or even a little judged? You’re not alone. I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop them in the comments or reply to this email.

This post is not medical advice.

This week’s episode is about a post that I came across that says “separating feeding and sleeping is an important ingredient in infant sleep.”

And while the post does mention that it might not apply to newborns, the overall message still pushes the idea that:

“if your baby is eating, they should be awake. If they’re sleeping, they shouldn’t be eating.”

Except… that’s just not how babies work.

Receive new posts about biologically normal baby sleep and feeding and consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Feeding and sleeping have always been closely linked for babies. It’s built into their biology, their brains, and our bodies. Suckling helps babies settle. Night feeds support your milk supply. And yes babies of all ages can and do feed or comfort nurse while drifting in and out of sleep.

That’s not something that needs to be “fixed.”

Trying to separate the two too early can cause so much unnecessary stress. It often leads parents to feel like they’re doing something wrong for letting their baby fall asleep while nursing, or for using the breast as a tool to soothe, when in reality, that’s one of the most natural and time-tested ways to help a baby sleep.

In this episode, I talk through what I saw, why it frustrated me, and what I want you to know if you’ve come across advice like this that left you second-guessing yourself.

You’re not spoiling your baby. You’re not missing some secret method.

You’re just parenting a real baby in the real world and you’re not doing it wrong if your baby still needs to feed at night.

With love + support,Jess

Feeding to Sleep

P.S. Have you seen this kind of messaging online lately? Did it make you feel confused, frustrated, or even a little judged? You’re not alone. I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop them in the comments or reply to this email.

This post is not medical advice.

I’ve never taken a course to support myself with baby sleep, only courses to help me support other mothers with their baby’s sleep.

But I’d been having a bit of a hard time with my baby’s sleep, so I decided it was time to try some support for myself. When I saw this course was being offered by Brittany, I had to sign up. I’ve been following her work since 2023, and she’s one of the few people supporting mothers with biologically normal baby sleep who truly inspired me to do the same.

I signed up for Sacred Sleep, a 9-week program created by Brittany Chambers of @goodnightmoonchild and honestly, I’m so happy I did.

I wanted to share my raw, unedited reflection on what it was like to be in a space made for mothers like me- navigating sleep with responsiveness, contact naps, bedsharing, and all the things that don’t fit the “mainstream”.

This wasn’t a fix-it-all program.It was support.Reassurance.Nervous system education.Community.

And a space that helped me feel a little more grounded through a really tired season.

I found so much value in this course.

I know the basics of baby sleep, I support other parents with it, and I still needed that reminder, that education, and that community for me.

If you’ve been thinking about investing in support but you’re not sure if it’s “worth it”, I get it. But the right kind of support doesn’t try to fix your baby.

It helps you feel more confident, more grounded and more understood.

And that can change everything.

If you’re curious about what it’s like, I share it all in this episode.

You can listen to it here and if Sacred Sleep sounds like something that might support you too, here’s the link to check it out:

It’s an affiliate link but I only share things I’ve personally tried and truly found helpful.

I hope this episode helps you feel more confident about accessing support when you need it.

You’re doing such important work.

With love + support,Jess

P.S. If you’re in a hard sleep season right now, you’re not doing it wrong and there is support out there that aligns with what you value as a mother and parent.

“We’re not going to start any new habits, because it could turn a small bump in the road into a huge sleep problem.”

I heard this quote in a Reel from a very popular baby sleep consultant, the kind whose programs are even being offered by employers and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

This week on The Midnight Scroll, I’m talking about separation anxiety, “bad habits” and the fear-based messaging that pops up everywhere in the baby sleep world.

The consultant featured in this video uses the term “gentle sleep training” but just to be clear, that’s her marketing language, not mine. Personally, I don’t find these methods gentle at all, and they don’t align with what I believe babies or parents truly need.

The video that sparked this conversation came from a post by Reclamation Postpartum you can check it out here:

It brought the issue back into focus for me, and I knew I had to talk about it.

Because here’s the thing…

Sometimes, your baby just needs you.And starting something new like rocking them again, feeding them on the couch instead of the bed, cuddling a little longer, isn’t you making a mistake.

It’s you responding.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

* Why these “don’t start any new habits” messages can feel so heavy when you’re already in the thick of it

* A personal story about how my 1-year-old’s bedtime needs changed (and what we did instead)

* Why I believe in responsive care, especially during big developmental shifts

* And how “habits” aren’t always the problem, we just need to reframe what we think they mean

Babies grow. Their needs change. And your rhythms will shift too. That’s not a failure. That’s parenting.

Episode 3 is up now listen on Substack, Spotify, or Apple.

Let me know what’s worked for you during these kinds of changes, I’d love to hear.

With love + support,

Jess

Feeding to Sleep

Note: This podcast is not medical advice.

This week on The Midnight Scroll, I’m talking about a product I keep seeing everywhere online:

The Flow Nipple Shield+ by Munchkin.

This product is being marketed as the first-ever nipple shield with a built-in milk flow channel so you can see your breast milk as it moves through the shield while you breastfeed.

Sounds kind of innovative, right?

It’s being promoted as a confidence-boosting tool, something to reassure you that your milk is flowing, your baby is feeding and to even help you tell when they’re “just ‘comfort nursing’.”

But the more I’ve seen it, the more I’ve started wondering…

Is this another gadget that’s going to make anxious mothers feel like they’re doing it wrong?

In this episode, I’m diving into:

* What this device claims to do

* The messaging in the marketing that gave me pause (especially around “knowing when to stop feeding”)

* Why this might add more stress than it solves for some mothers

* My own (not-great) experience with nipple shields in the early weeks

* And what I wish people knew before using any kind of breastfeeding device

While preparing for this episode I had a look at the product’s official website, I wanted to see if it was mentioned that this product should be used with support and I couldn’t find anything on the product description page that clearly encourages parents to get support from a lactation professional. That’s a big concern for me, because nipple shields aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution.

(There is mention of how this product is endorsed by some lactation professionals and resources for them regarding the product but again nothing noting that this is a product that needs support.)

Yes, I love the idea of supporting breastfeeding confidence. Yes, I’m all for innovation.But tools like this need context, nuance, and actual support especially from someone like an IBCLC.

A cool gadget will never replace a plan, a conversation, or a real look at what’s going on.

If you’ve used this nipple shield or have thoughts, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

And if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to measure, track, and optimise every feed, you’re not alone. Come listen.

Listen to Episode 2 of The Midnight Scroll on Substack, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

With love + support,

Jess

Feeding to Sleep

Note: This podcast is not medical advice.

Quotes sourced from https://www.munchkin.com/flow-starter-kit