Guest: Campbell Panetti

If you’ve been hanging around T4M for a while, you know that we take the designation of “friend” to be very important. I often share a quote from George Washington - here it is in its entirety:

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to appellation.”

Recently my youngest, Campbell, approached me with a new thought and addition to this conversation - he was saying that there are different levels of friends, too - that those who are your most intimate friends are your fellowship - and we see this modeled in the life and ministry of Jesus as well. Jesus had the 12 disciples, but He often took the 3 (Peter, James, and John) while leaving the others.

Apparently this concept is supported by science and research as well. According to psychologist Robin Dunbar, the maximum number of close friends that a person can have is about five people - you can have a larger circle of friends (about 15 people) and another circle of about 50…and the maximum number of people that a person can have “meaningful contact” with is about 150 people.

The last part of our conversation dealt with the idea that “friends accept each other as they are.” I don’t wholeheartedly agree with that assessment - I think Scripture teaches us that friends are important tools to sharpen and improve us, often through saying hard truths and constructive criticism. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” The only way for iron to sharpen iron is for there to be honest and open conflict/friction to remove areas of weakness or sin. Hopefully you have friends around you who are working to help you be a better version of yourself!

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.