Guest: Erin Williams, LPC, PCA Upper School Counselor

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

Marriage is both wonderful and work. God’s design to express His love and mercy to the world is on full display in the Christian marriage and when two people make a covenant to love each other, it takes the love of Christ in each to truly make the marriage relationship work! Marriage is a tremendous blessing, not only for the married couple, but also for children and grandchildren - the stability and picture of grace and forgiveness speaks louder than a culture that says that marriage is outdated and worthless today. Enjoy this powerful conversation with Erin Williams on the value of marriage and how to make yours even better!

Guest: Dr. Steven Lytle, Founder of Sparrow House Counseling

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

This week we continue our conversation with Dr. Steven Lytle at Sparrow House Counseling examining the book Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce about how divorce leaves a lasting legacy in the lives of children. 

Judith Wallerstein’s remarkable book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study talks about how children of divorce develop a “toolbelt” that helps them navigate the changing and difficult landscape of a broken home - and that toolbelt proved damaging to their own future relationships and marriage.

One take-away that is helpful for parents who have divorced is that they need to work to see the divorce and new reality through the eyes of their children.

Dr. Lytle talks about how damaging divorce can be on the identity of a child - especially when a parent uses a similarity that a child has with a parent as a negative in their life - example: “you act just like your dad” would generally be a positive in the life of a child…but after divorce that statement is weaponized against the ex-spouse and used against the child.

Dr. Lytle reminds us that divorce always has an impact on children. The book also highlights the fact that from a child’s perspective, the divorce of their parents never goes away…while a parent may have an “ex-spouse,” children do not have “ex-parents.”

Dr. Lytle notes that when couples get divorced, it is very difficult for them to truly see the impending negatives, they hope that things will turn out in the best way possible. But that is not a good strategy for dealing with the realities from a broken marriage and home.

The book talks about “blended” or “bonus” families…from the kid’s perspective, these are not positives and they are offended or hurt by trying to put a positive spin on a negative situation.

Parents, final word - good, biblical counseling is a wonderful tool for those looking for some additional wisdom and encouragement - don’t look back and wish you would have…go get some help now.

Guest: Dr. Steven Lytle, Founder of Sparrow House Counseling

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

Dr. Lytle and I will spend two weeks taking a deep dive into how divorce impacts children by examining the research and evidence presented in Elizabeth Marquardt’s power book Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce. While this book examines the kid’s perspective of how divorce affects their world, as parents we need to understand this - there are conversations that we need to have and decisions we need to make as parents to better equip our children to better wrestle with the realities that they are facing.

Divorce literally changes the structure of childhood - regardless of whether it was a “good” divorce, or “bad” divorce, from the child’s perspective, divorce creates two new and different realities that they must now cope with and, in many regards, learn to manage at a very young age. 

Dr. Lytle says that as children learn to manage the two new realities, many of them become “cameleons” - meaning that they learn to change to fit into the two different realities. Many times children learn to lie to their parents in an effort to protect one or both from the harmful effects of the other parent. Interesting note from the book, the #1 stress of children of divorce is trying to protect the feelings of their mom.

Dr. Lytle points out that while there is no agenda in this book, the evidence does point to the devastating effects of divorce on children, which should be something that parents consider before ending their marriage.

Dr. Lytle points out that many parents take themselves out of community because of their divorce. When things are difficult, that is the time for parents to lean into a loving and caring community. Children of divorce often struggle with trust issues. Parents should make sure that their children are surrounded by other loving and trustworthy adults - the church is so important for children…and adults…during this difficult time.

Host: Dan Panetti

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

Parents, the research is in and there are many things to be concerned about as we look at the “state of the American family.” Yet, at the same time, the most important take-away, in my opinion, is that once again children select their parents as the most influential people in their spiritual lives - don’t miss that! When it seems that your children are listening more to their peers, social media influences, or just zoning out - remember that the truth you are sharing is having an impact even if you can’t see it right away!

The research also shows that parents talk about the importance of teaching their children the Word of God, saying prayers with their kids, and making sure that as a family they are in church…BUT, less than half of the professing Christian parents actually followed through and did those things! Parents, these should be none-negotiable things in your home - nothing is more important than the spiritual wellbeing of your family…nothing. Take time to reflect on how you’re doing as a husband/father or wife/mother and where you can improve - then take those important steps to grow in your own faith and show your children how to grow in their walk with the Lord.

Guest: Eric Leininger, teacher in the classroom for 14 years

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

Parents, one of the primary “shifts” we’ve seen in education deals with the issue of where the responsibility lies. In the old days, students were primarily responsible for their actions; today if students have a problem, the responsibility falls on the shoulders of the teachers. 

Parents, when your son or daughter has an issue in the classroom, Eric’s wisdom on how to best handle these situations is to address the problem at home and help your child learn how this situation can best shape their character. Eric does not recommend contacting the teacher unless the situation/problem is egregious. Disciplinary issues at a school or on the court/field are opportunities to train your children about how to better handle situations or how to work through a seeming (or real) injustice.

Before contacting a teacher, Eric recommends that you examine Scripture and pray for God’s wisdom in how to best proceed. As a parent, Eric also recommends that you should look to trust those who are partnering with you in the discipleship process. Modeling for your students that we respect the authority of our teachers is a valuable life lesson.

Here is the link to a video/article of Hannah, a young former high school English teacher who quit after 3 years because of technology and general apathy/laziness of students in the classroom.

Guest: Will May

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

Proverbs 14:23 says “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” Today, the proverbial Protestant Work Ethic seems like an ancient relic - but with AI and smart phones is hard work a thing of the past? Jump into the conversation with Will May and myself as we dive into the biblical worldview of work - what does the Bible say and how can we as parents instill the value for hard work in our children?

Guests: Parker and Abbi Panetti

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

This is the fourth and final installment of our amazing series with Parker and Abbi examining a variety of angles of college life so that you, as parents, can prepare your students for the various obstacles and opportunities awaiting them on a college campus. The question we ask and answer in this episode is “what does success look like” on a college campus? Some may think that success is getting a 4.0 GPA or landing the “right” job when you graduate…but there’s more…much more to God’s design for your student. Listen and learn in this great final conversation with Parker and Abbi.

Guest: Parker and Abbi Panetti

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

This is the third installment of our four-part series with Parker and Abbi examining a variety of angles of college life so that you, as parents, can prepare your students for the various obstacles and opportunities awaiting them on a college campus. Some studies show that 60-80% of Christians students “walk away” from their faith - that statistic is alarming and unacceptable…but what can we do to counter this mass exodus? That’s the conversation for today’s episode…

Guests: Parker and Abbi Panetti

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

Hope your family has a Happy Thanksgiving!

This is the second installment of our four-part series with Parker and Abbi examining a variety of angles of college life so that you, as parents, can prepare your students for the various obstacles and opportunities awaiting them on a college campus…or, for this week, preparing your home for when they return! Whether your child is a senior in high school or in first grade, there are important elements of their faith that will ground them regardless of the environment around them.

One resource that I can highly recommend is The Most Important Place on Earth: What a Christian Home Looks Like and How to Build One by Robert Wohlgemuth. Great reminder about the opportunity to build our children on God’s Word in our homes…as we send them out into the world…and when they return.

Guest: Parker and Abbi Panetti

If you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.

This will be a four-part series with Parker and Abbi examining a variety of angles of college life so that you, as parents, can prepare your students for the various obstacles and opportunities awaiting them on a college campus. Whether your child is a senior in high school or in first grade, there are important elements of their faith that will ground them regardless of the environment around them. In addition, with a biblical worldview, they will not merely survive the college experience, but thrive in their faith journey while in college.