Feral Attraction

On this week's podcast we open with a discussion on why you might be experiencing poor sleep when you are in a new environment. Is it just anxiety, excitement, or could it be a more primal, feral sensation that your brain is having? Our main topic is on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Cognitive Distortions. We discuss what the most common cognitive distortions are and how they affect the way that you perceive the world. We then discuss ways that you can manage those and find a path to a happier, healthier you. Cognitive Distortions are a serious issue, especially when you put them in play into a relationship. They allow for negative, self-sabotaging behavior to rear its ugly head and the collateral damage can be incredibly great. While we discuss common methods for coping and resolving these issues, we do want to stress again that we are not licensed mental healthcare experts nor does this podcast represent any form of consultation or diagnosis. If you have further questions or want to come up with an action plan for correcting behaviors we discuss in this show, seek help from a licensed healthcare professional that specializes in this area. We close out the episode with a question about how to tell your long-term monogamous partner that you want to give polyamory a try. We talk about communication a lot in our answer. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

This week we open with a discussion on twitter lists that might contain libelous information. How can you handle yourself when someone is falsely accusing you of doing something potentially illegal? Our main topic is gaslighting. Gaslighting is when someone maliciously attempts to convince you that your perception of an event is false in order to fit their desired purpose. This can take the form of calling you crazy, saying that you are wrong about something, or making you doubt your own memories. Oftentimes, this method is employed by people close to you, like a partner, a parent, a teacher, or some other form of respected authority figure, and if you are susceptible to these types of suggestions it can be incredibly damaging to your psyche. We discuss how to identify gaslighting from a genuine misunderstanding, ways to mitigate against gaslighting, and what to do when you realize that you are being gaslit. We also have a listener question about how to tell a partner that you are in love with them, and how to challenge the gender norms that the man in a relationship has to be the first one to offer such a confession. What can a lesbian do? We end with some feedback concerning our show and the bias that we, as hosts, have as gay men. Are we intentionally excluding other genders or relationship styles when we offer advice? For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

This week we kick off our Mental Health Month by talking about Emotional Blackmail. We here at Feral Attraction believe that Emotional Blackmail can be one of the most insidious poisons in a relationship, and as we have mentioned it in the past wanted to dedicate an entire episode to it. We kick off the episode, however, with a discussion on "ghosting" furry conventions; what exactly is ghosting and who is it really hurting (spoiler: everyone). Emotional Blackmail can take many forms and everyone is vulnerable to it, whether you are the child of a passive aggressive parent, or the dom in your D/S relationship. The good news is that there are warning signs that you can look out for and ways to resolve these situations without it being escalated into a relationship cold war. We do discuss some topics relating to abuse and self-harm in this episode, so please be advised of this content in advance before listening. We also would like to reiterate that if you find yourself in an abusive relationship please seek the appropriate level of care and assistance to get you safely out of that situation. We have a listener question that is in response to our STI Prevention and Risk Mitigation episode, where their partner informed them of having an STI. While they understand the low risk associated with it, they are still a bit squeamish when it comes to having a full-blown sex life with them. What should they do? We also have some feedback concerning resources for the non-monogamous community. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Hello Everyone! This week we lead off with a discussion about a recent study that shows that DNA may influence your sex life. Check out the Show Notes for a link to the study. Our main topic is about communication. What different styles are there and what are the pros and cons of each. Healthy communication in a relationship is what nourishes the love that grows. Developing communication skills and habits can be incredibly difficult, especially if you grew up in an environment that did not foster such growth. We discuss all of this, as well as how to identify and avoid the pitfalls of communication styles and how to work with your partner to ensure that there are fewer misunderstandings in your relationship as a whole. We also have a listener question about what to do if you are involuntarily celibate. This can have a long-lasting impact on the health and well being of an individual and, for some, it is a real struggle they face. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone! This week we lead off with a clip of our Second Opinion segment from Episode 495 of the Savage Lovecast, "Furries and Cheeseheads". Thanks again to Dan Savage and Nancy Hartunian for the gracious invitation as well as granting permission to share the clip in full. Our main topic is about trust, which is all too often misunderstood. Trust is the other side of Integrity, and both serve as the foundation on which a relationship either stands firm or crumbles. We discuss what exactly trust is as well as how to develop and maintain trust in yourself and others. We also discuss how to handle breaches of trust and what you can do to recover trust once it has been broken. Spoiler: sometimes that just isn't possible. We also take a listener question about how to handle feelings of jealousy in an open relationship that you realized, after the fact, you wished was a closed relationship. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone! This week we talk about Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). This is a long episode-- over three hours-- that is full of as much information that we could cram in. We go over the ways to mitigate against STIs by using safer sex practices like condoms, and then take a look into the most commonly transmitted STIs. We discuss the transmission routes, the symptoms, the treatments, and the ways you can mitigate specifically against each one. We discuss studies and reports and offer a lot of resources that you can find in our Show Notes for this episode-- it is highly recommended that you give them a look. You can also use this to skip to sections that interest you or perhaps you are curious about. Unfortunately we are not able to cover every piece of information available in this episode, but we do recommend using this as a resource for having a discussion with your doctor about your sexual health. We also hope that this can serve as a resource to help correct some of the misinformation that is sometimes shared in Public Education Sexual Education classes. We also have a listener question about how to find a mate, especially if it has been some time since you were last in a relationship. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone! This week we talk about After Dark Twitter, the whys, the hows, and the what not to dos. AD Twitter can be a great place for you to engage yourself -- and others -- in kinks, fetishes, and roleplay and can expand your sexual wheelhouse. That being said, there is a social contract involved when you engage in this type of activity, both as a "producer" and a "consumer". We discuss how to interact with people in a way that portrays you in a good light and allows you to embrace the fun, sexy side of the fandom. We also talk about the risks and ways to mitigate your naked body becoming a public attraction. We also have a listener question about how to move on after the end of a possibly unhealthy relationship. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

This week we go into the past and talk about our lives. What mistakes in life and relationships have we made, and how did we move forward from these negative situations? How have we handled some of the lowest moments of our life and what did we learn from this? We also take a question about whether or not you should sacrifice your relationship for employment. Please note that this episode contains some sensitive material and covers some topics that some listeners might view as being disturbing. Please review our show notes for timestamps in order to prevent any emotional or mental issues that you might experience. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Online Relationships and Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) have become a staple of the fandom due to our massive presence online. Most furries will, at one point or another, enter into some kind of a relationship that is non-local. How do you begin such a relationship, or maintain it once it is underway? What is the difference between an Online Relationship and a Long Distance Relationship? How do you set reasonable expectations for the relationship? What is the best way to keep intimacy regular when you might be continents apart? We also answer the question of whether you need a primary partner in order to be polyamorous. For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.