FERAL: Diaries of an Uninhibited Woman

What if courage isn’t about being fearless?

What if it’s about trusting yourself enough to move before you have everything figured out?

In this episode of Feral: Diaries of an Uninhibited Woman, I’m diving into what I believe actually lives underneath courage: self-trust.

I share how I’ve built my own “fuck-it trust button,” the connection between courage and resilience, and why so many of us stay stuck in the realm of our dreams because we’re waiting for certainty before we act.

We talk about perfectionism, learning through experience, the fear of being seen differently, and the very real possibility that choosing to be more fully yourself may change how certain people relate to you.

But what if you could trust yourself enough to handle that, too?

I also share one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned from putting myself publicly in situations where I knew people might judge, reject, or misunderstand me: your sense of safety, belonging, and acceptance can become something you source from within yourself—not something you need other people to give you.

And at the end of the episode, I’m inviting you into something new:

The 4 Weeks of A Hit Of Courage

For the month of October, my paid Substack subscribers are joining me for a four-week experiment in choosing courage in real life.

Every Friday, I’ll release a new article with:

* a teaching to shift the way you see courage, self-trust, and desire

* a specific practice or dare to take into your actual life

* an opportunity to stretch the edges of who you’ve been willing to be

This isn’t a month of simply telling yourself to “be more courageous.”

It’s about practicing courage.

Taking the action. Saying the thing. Revealing the desire. Letting yourself be seen. Trying something before you feel completely ready. And discovering, through experience, that you can trust yourself to handle what happens next.

Complete all four weekly challenges and there will be a special gift waiting for you from me.

The first challenge drops Friday, October 9th.

You can join the challenge by becoming a paid subscriber to my Substack—and you can cancel anytime.

So, where in your life are you craving more courage?

What would you do if you trusted yourself a little more?

I’m cheering for you.

Last year, I got fired by my mentor for sharing a taboo fantasy of mine.

It was one of those moments that could have sent me straight back into hiding.

Instead, it became a launch pad.

In this episode of Feral: Diaries of an Uninhibited Woman, I take you behind the scenes of that experience—from revealing a part of myself I had never spoken out loud, to feeling the energetic rupture that followed, to receiving the email that ended our coaching relationship and somehow gave me exactly the money I needed to step into my next level.

But the real story isn’t about getting fired.

It’s about what happens when you stop making yourself digestible.

I talk about learning to distinguish between genuine misalignment and the resistance that comes from being triggered; trusting the information your body gives you; being willing to repel people who aren’t meant to stay; and how one season of losing people can simultaneously become the season where you find people who become lifelong.

This is the lesson at the heart of so much of my work in The Taboo Temple:

You have to be willing to repel the wrong people in order to magnetize the right ones.

Whether you’re building an aligned business, creating dream relationships, exploring your audacious desires, or simply becoming more fully yourself, there will be moments when belonging to yourself means risking someone else’s rejection.

And sometimes, that rejection isn’t the end of your story.

It’s your motherfucking launch pad.

Ready to stop abandoning yourself to be liked?

Come into The Taboo Temple. I work with people who are ready to explore their desires, confront their taboos, and become more fully expressed through BDSM, erotic embodiment, and deep experiential work.

If you’re ready to be witnessed differently, come find me at https://www.mistressmahara.co.

What happens when you become the woman you thought you were supposed to be—and discover you don’t actually want the life you imagined?

In this deeply personal episode of Feral: The Diaries of an Uninhibited Woman, Mistress Mahara takes you behind the Mistress and into one of the most tender, taboo parts of her life: motherhood.

Before becoming a mother, she imagined herself as the quintessential mother—homeschooling, cooking everything from scratch, completely immersed in raising her child. Then her son was born, and the reality of motherhood looked nothing like the fantasy.

She talks candidly about postpartum depression, the exhaustion of working as a therapist while raising a newborn, divorce, becoming a weekend parent, the shame she carried around not loving motherhood, and the online backlash she received after publicly sharing her experience.

But this isn’t simply a story about motherhood.

It’s about desire.

About the difference between what we genuinely want and what we’ve learned to want.

About the parts of ourselves we hide because we’re afraid they will make us unlovable.

And about what becomes possible when we stop trying to convince ourselves that we’re supposed to love the life we’ve been handed.

This is one of the deepest roots of The Taboo Temple: creating permission for the parts of ourselves that society tells us are too much, too selfish, too strange, too dark, or simply unacceptable.

Because sometimes the thing we are most ashamed to admit is also the thing that sets us free.

And perhaps the most radical form of authenticity is simply telling the truth:

This is what my life actually feels like.

What if your frustration isn’t a problem to solve—but information you’ve been trained to ignore?

For so much of my life, I was really fucking good at being understanding. I could see both sides. I could find compassion. I could make things make sense.

And sometimes that beautiful capacity for understanding became a way of overriding myself.

In this episode of Feral: Diaries of an Uninhibited Woman, I’m talking about the power of rage, frustration, agitation, and all those little moments when you feel a quiet fuck no but convince yourself to be grateful, reasonable, diplomatic, or “fine.”

I share a story from a recent session with a submissive who arrived carrying frustration from his workday—and how that very energy became an invitation to explore the more animalistic, savage parts of himself.

We talk about the difference between feeling your rage and acting it out, why so many people (especially men) learn to suppress their intensity, and how frustration can reveal where your boundaries, desires, and truth are asking for your attention.

I also share the story of the sacred feminine rage circle that helped me finally hear the whisper I had been overriding: I think I’m gay.

That moment changed the trajectory of my entire life.

Because sometimes the thing you’re calling a bad mood is actually your intuition knocking.

Sometimes your resentment is showing you where you’ve abandoned yourself.

Sometimes your rage is the sword your soft heart has been missing.

And sometimes the path toward a more alive life begins with letting yourself admit what you actually fucking want—before you worry about how to make it happen.

This is an invitation to get curious about where you’re cranky as fuck, where you’re saying yes when you mean no, and where your frustration might be pointing you toward a truth you’ve been avoiding.

READY TO BECOME THE MISTRESS OF YOUR LIFE?

Stop outsourcing your desires, your decisions, and your authority.

My private 1:1 Mistress of Your Life coaching is for when you’re ready to unapologetically claim your desires, strengthen your spine, and create a life you actually fucking want.

3 or 6 month containers2 private calls each month + 3 days of Telegram each week$1,000/month | $2,500 PIF (3 mo) | $5,500 PIF (6 mo)

Email [email protected] to introduce yourself & request a free 30 minute call to connect and see if we would be a good fit.

I recently hit one year of celibacy.

Which is honestly kind of wild considering that the year before this, I was in my first-ever hoe phase—going on five or six people a week, having lots of casual sex, navigating my first experience with polyamory, and making dating a full-time job.

And then, I dommed myself into taking a period of celibacy.

I definitely had a lot of meltdowns and tantrums with resistance, but I knew the version of me who created her dream business and called in her aligned man…she needed me to go on this journey.

This year cracked open a LOT for me around the ways I was using relationships, dating, sex, and sensuality to escape discomfort and outsource feelings I didn’t know how to give myself.

I talk about the night I was making butternut squash soup, asked myself “What do you need right now?” and proceeded to sob hysterically on my kitchen floor because I actually myself what I was grasping onto men for.

I talk about realizing how much I had outsourced feeling chosen and desirable to men.

I talk about the ways I was using my sensuality to hook men—and what it looked like to slowly reclaim my sensuality as something that belongs to me, rather than something I use to get someone else to want me.

And I talk about what happened to my creativity when I started holding my sexual energy differently.

This isn’t me telling you that celibacy is the answer.

It’s really an exploration of what became possible when I stopped automatically reaching outside of myself every time I wanted connection, validation, desire, or comfort.

And now, a year later, I’m still figuring out what I want my relationship with sex, dating, men, kink, and intimacy to look like. I’m most definitely not perfect and still have human moments of “god I wish I had a man.”

May you receive the codes of what you are meant to through this episode, xoxo.

If it delights you to support an unapologetic woman’s expansion, upgrading to a paid subscription and/or contributing via my CashApp $missmahara would bring me much joy. Thank you for being here! xoxo

READY TO BECOME THE MISTRESS OF YOUR LIFE?

Stop outsourcing your desires, your decisions, and your authority.

My private 1:1 Mistress of Your Life coaching is for when you’re ready to unapologetically claim your desires, strengthen your spine, and create a life you actually fucking want.

3 or 6 month containers2 private calls each month + 3 days of Telegram each week$1,000/month | $2,500 PIF (3 mo) | $5,500 PIF (6 mo)

Email [email protected] to introduce yourself & request a free 30 minute call to connect and see if we would be a good fit.

You might know me as Mistress Mahara—the confident, unapologetic woman behind The Taboo Temple.

But confidence doesn’t mean I don’t have my own shit.

In this intimate, unfiltered live, I pulled back the curtain on three things that have been very alive for me lately. My prayer is you connect to the parts of yourself that are mirrored through my story.

This isn’t a polished “I’ve healed this” story.

It’s me sharing what I’m actively moving through—and what I’ve learned about holding myself through the waves rather than collapsing when they come.

Because beneath the Mistress, beneath the confidence, beneath the woman who seems to have it all figured out, there is still a deeply human woman navigating desire, grief, belonging, longing, comparison, and the full range of being alive.

And that’s really what The Taboo Temple is about:

Learning to become the authority of your own life.

To hold yourself through the chaos.To let yourself receive the goodness.To stop making your humanity something you need to hide.To become the Mistress of your own life.

Enjoy, and I would love to hear your reflections in the comments.

Until next time, xoxo.

What happens when you outgrow the career (or life) you spent years building?

In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of one of my many plot twists: dropping my therapist license and eventually finding my way into professional domination, BDSM, and expression work.

I’ll share the moment I first realized I might be done with therapy, what burnout taught me about how to discern what is actually aligned for you, and why I ultimately chose to trust my intuition—even when keeping my license seemed like the much more logical choice.

We’re also getting into what therapy taught me, what I wanted to do differently, my relationship with touch and power, and how my work as a pro-domme has actually become an evolution of the work I was already doing.

Because sometimes you don’t need more self-care.

Sometimes you need to admit: this life isn’t working for me anymore.

And then get brave enough to build something that does.

If it delights you to support an unapologetic woman’s expansion, upgrading to a paid subscription and/or contributing via my CashApp $missmahara would bring me much joy. Thank you for being here! xoxo

Submitting to Me

* Ritual BDSM + Kink Sessions (In Person or Virtual)

A session with me is an invitation to meet the parts of yourself you’ve been taught to suppress. Together, we create a deeply intentional, consent-centered container where power exchange becomes a doorway into greater self-awareness, liberation, and aliveness.

Through an intuitive blend of BDSM, kink, rope, sensation, and Sacred Theater Somatics, I guide you into honest expression—whether that looks like reclaiming your power, practicing surrender, exploring long-held desires, moving shame through the body, or discovering entirely new parts of yourself.

Every experience is uniquely crafted around your boundaries, curiosities, and intentions, with spacious integration and aftercare to help you carry what unfolds back into your everyday life.

Photographer: IG - @barenatureboudoir

My kinky desires:

* Impact play (flogger, riding crop, spanking, face slapping)

* Feminization / sissification

* Shibari

* Choking

* Latex

* Foot worship

* Tease & denial

* Pet play

* Mommy kink

* Role play

Travel locations (I’m based in SLC, UT)

* NYC area x 2 - September 2026 + December 2026

* Northern California - October 2026

* Toronto, Canada - October 2026

* Miami, Florida - December 2026

* Available for FMTY

Investment:

* $750 for 2 hour session in-person (tour rates may apply)

* $375 for 90 minute virtual session

* 1:1 Virtual Coaching — Mistress of Your Life

Stop outsourcing your desires, your decisions, and your authority.

My private 1:1 Mistress of Your Life coaching is for when you’re ready to unapologetically claim your desires, strengthen your spine, and create a life you actually fucking want.

3 or 6 month containers2 private calls each month + 3 days of Telegram each week$1,000/month | $2,500 PIF (3 mo) | $5,500 PIF (6 mo)

Next steps:

Email [email protected] to introduce yourself, your desires, and location and request a free 30 minute call with me to connect about your desires for me to determine if we would be a good fit.

What if changing your mind about your sexuality isn’t a failure—but evidence that you’re alive?

In this deeply personal episode of FERAL, I’m sharing a part of my sexuality journey: coming out as gay, leaving a marriage with a man, spending nearly two years in a relationship with a woman, and choosing to return to men.

I talk about the parts that were liberating, the parts that were messy, the relationships I had to leave, and the unexpected experiences that opened my heart in completely new ways.

I also share why lesbian energy has become such an active part of my work right now—not only with women exploring their attraction to women, but with men exploring feminization, lesbian fantasy, and the parts of themselves they’ve been taught they “shouldn’t” want.

Because one of the things I love most about BDSM and kink is the permission field they can create: a place to try something on without immediately needing to decide what it means about you.

This episode is ultimately about something bigger than sexuality: the permission to evolve. To change your mind. To explore something that once felt impossible. To trust what is true for you now without demanding that it remain true forever.

You are allowed to live many different lifetimes within this one life.

And you are allowed to let every version of yourself be part of your evolution.

Supporting The Taboo Temple is elevating a mission around embracing the taboo parts of us in the name of authenticity. Thank you for being here. xoxo.

Submitting to Me

* Ritual BDSM + Kink Sessions (In Person or Virtual)

A session with me is an invitation to meet the parts of yourself you’ve been taught to suppress. Together, we create a deeply intentional, consent-centered container where power exchange becomes a doorway into greater self-awareness, liberation, and aliveness.

Through an intuitive blend of BDSM, kink, rope, sensation, and Sacred Theater Somatics, I guide you into honest expression—whether that looks like reclaiming your power, practicing surrender, exploring long-held desires, moving shame through the body, or discovering entirely new parts of yourself.

Every experience is uniquely crafted around your boundaries, curiosities, and intentions, with spacious integration and aftercare to help you carry what unfolds back into your everyday life.

Photographer: IG - @barenatureboudoir

My muse: IG - @autumnfairyflow

My kinky desires:

* Impact play (flogger, riding crop, spanking, face slapping)

* Feminization / sissification

* Shibari

* Choking

* Latex

* Foot worship

* Tease & denial

* Pet play

* Mommy kink

* Role play

Travel locations (I’m based in SLC, UT)

* NYC area x 2 - September 2026 + December 2026

* Northern California - October 2026

* Toronto, Canada - October 2026

* Miami, Florida - December 2026

* Available for FMTY

Investment:

* $750 for 2 hour session in-person (tour rates may apply)

* $375 for 90 minute virtual session

* 1:1 Virtual Coaching — Mistress of Your Life

Stop outsourcing your desires, your decisions, and your authority.

My private 1:1 Mistress of Your Life coaching is for when you’re ready to unapologetically claim your desires, strengthen your spine, and create a life you actually fucking want.

3 or 6 month containers2 private calls each month + 3 days of Telegram each week$1,000/month | $2,500 PIF (3 mo) | $5,500 PIF (6 mo)

Next steps:

Email [email protected] to introduce yourself, your desires, and location and request a free 30 minute call with me to connect about your desires for me to determine if we would be a good fit.

There was a relationship I stayed in for almost two years that, if I’m being completely honest, I knew wasn’t right for me before it even started.

And yet, I kept trying to make it work.

I tried to become someone who wanted the things she wanted. I pushed away desires that felt inconvenient. I convinced myself that things that mattered deeply to me simply weren’t that important.

I self-abandoned myself to be chosen.

I became a cat person for someone who loved cats. I told myself I didn’t really need the kind of masculine, daddy energy I actually craved. I kept finding little ways to contort myself so I could stay in a relationship I didn’t even truly want.

In this first episode of FERAL: Diaries of an Uninhibited Woman, I’m telling the story of that relationship—and the relationship that came after it that showed me what it could feel like when you don’t have to contort yourself to be loved.

Because sometimes the relationship you desperately want to make work is the very thing that teaches you what you actually want.

And when you finally stop negotiating with yourself?

Things get really fucking interesting.

I’m talking about relationships, sexuality, desire, self-abandonment, compatibility, and what happened when I finally got unapologetically precise about how I wanted to be loved.

Because here’s what I’ve come to believe:

You don’t need to become more lovable.

You need to become more you.

What do you actually want?

How do you want to be loved?

What turns you on?

What parts of yourself have you edited out because you decided they were too much, too weird, too inconvenient, or too unlikely to be accepted?

And what might become possible if you stopped assuming that the people who could love all of you don’t exist?

That’s the heart of what I’m creating with The Taboo Temple.

Not a place where you’re taught how to become more acceptable.

A place where you get to become more you.

Because I don’t believe we’re here to be tolerated.

We’re here to be celebrated, cherished, and fully ourselves.

Welcome to FERAL. 🖤

If you’re inspired to support an unapologetic woman’s expansion, I’d be so delighted if you blessed me through a paid subscription and/or my Throne Wishlist: https://throne.com/mahara

READY TO BECOME THE MISTRESS OF YOUR LIFE?

Stop outsourcing your desires, your decisions, and your authority.

My private 1:1 Mistress of Your Life coaching is for when you’re ready to unapologetically claim your desires, strengthen your spine, and create a life you actually fucking want.

3 or 6 month containers2 private calls each month + 3 days of Telegram each week$1,000/month | $2,500 PIF (3 mo) | $5,500 PIF (6 mo)

Email [email protected] to introduce yourself & request a free 30 minute call to connect and see if we would be a good fit.