Fiat in the Mess

Episode Summary
How do we stay present to our children, our vocation, and God when we’re sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and pulled in a dozen directions? Annie and Hailey explore the daily struggle to live in the present moment, grounded in agape love and Christ’s invitation to trust the Father with tomorrow. They share practical changes they’ve made, reflect on what our children really need from us, and close with St. Faustina’s Prayer for the Present Moment.

Key Themes

• Agape is the foundation of motherhood. Most of us don’t struggle to love our kids. We struggle to know how to show up for them in daily life.
• Presence says “I see you.” Eye contact and undivided attention communicate dignity and love.
• Being present is not a new problem. Jesus constantly tells us not to worry about tomorrow. “Give us this day our daily bread.”
• Technology is a tool, not the enemy. The real question is what we reach for when we’re anxious, bored, or avoiding something hard.
• Our kids mostly want us. Not a perfect house or a perfect schedule.

Discussion Highlights

• Hailey’s anxiety isn’t about her children themselves, but about the to-do list, work deadlines, and whether she’s measuring up as a mother and homemaker.
• Her Catechesis of the Good Shepherd training reminded her that parents are the primary educators of their children. She can’t control her kids’ faith, but she can prepare the environment so God can meet them there.
• She met a woman whose family traveled the country for a year, then settled on rural Texas land. Hailey concluded that you don’t have to move to be present. God calls her to the moment she’s in, in her own home.
• Hailey’s three-year-old asked his dad, “Does your teacher have the same eyes? My teacher has beautiful eyes.” In the atrium, children and teachers greet each other with eye contact and a handshake. It made Hailey ask whether she really looks at her son when she speaks to him.
• Annie shares how her teenagers often get compliments from engaged couples for looking people in the eye and shaking hands.
• After a big tantrum, Hailey’s son said, “Mama, I just want to be with you.” As the family became more connected, his challenging behaviors faded.

Practical Tips

• Delete or limit social media if you reach for it when anxious or bored. Hailey stresses this is for her season, not a rule for everyone.
• Turn off notifications except calls and texts.
• Set “office hours” for email and texts, and be at peace with slower replies.
• Keep a running list of random urges (curtains, Pinterest) and visit it at a set time each week. Often you’ll find you were just filling a void.
• When you need a break, grab your Bible and go outside instead of reaching for your phone.
• Invite little ones into your work. “I need to finish the dishes, then I’ll be free to play. Want to help?” Let them sit near you, even if it’s messy.
• Keep devices off the dinner table. Protect family meals and game nights as sacred space.
• With teens, stay available. Leave the lamp on, and don’t skip the “pointless” conversation, because the real one often comes 15 minutes later.
• Correct behaviors in toddlers that you wouldn’t want to see in a teenager.

Your Turn
Share your tricks for staying present, or what your kids have said when you made the effort. Email us or leave a comment.

Keep giving God your fiat in the mess.

In this episode of Fiat in the Mess, Annie Muller and Hailey Skinner welcome Dr. Irene Alexander, associate professor of moral theology at the University of Dallas, wife, and mother of six. Together they explore one of the most difficult questions in Catholic bioethics: what to do with the thousands of frozen embryos left behind by IVF. They also speak with compassion to the women and couples carrying the cross of infertility.

Dr. Alexander's background
Dr. Alexander holds her MA and PhD from Ave Maria University. She teaches moral theology, bioethics, Christian marriage, scripture, and tradition. Her scholarship has appeared in the National Catholic Bioethics Quarterly, the Linacre Quarterly, and other journals. Her forthcoming book, Frozen Embryos: A Catholic Moral Evaluation of Embryo Adoption, Cryopreservation, Rehydration, and Artificial Wounds, is expected in 2027.

In this episode

• How Dr. Alexander balances motherhood and academic work, and why her family life and her theological work enrich each other
• A plain-language explanation of how IVF works, including the creation of multiple embryos, selective reduction, and cryopreservation
• Why the Church opposes IVF: it is contrary to the dignity of the child and to the unity of marriage, which joins the unitive and procreative meanings of the conjugal act
• The Church's teaching as an interpretation of natural law rather than a rule only for Catholics
• Restorative reproductive medicine and NaProTechnology: ethical options that seek to diagnose and heal the underlying causes of infertility
• The cultural tendency to treat fertility as a problem to be suppressed rather than a gift
• Embryo adoption: what Dignitas Personae (2008, paragraph 19) says, the ongoing scholarly debate, and Dr. Alexander's own position
• Artificial wombs and ectogenesis, and the ethical concerns they raise
• Faith and courage in motherhood, including Dr. Alexander's "pickle jar" story
• Encouragement for women facing infertility and for those overwhelmed by pregnancy: God sees the ache and invites us to surrender it to Him

A note on the discussion
Dr. Alexander is clear about the difference between what the Church has officially taught and her own scholarly argument. Embryo adoption remains a disputed question among Catholic theologians.

Resources

• Dr. Alexander’s book, Frozen Embryos: A Catholic Moral Evaluation of Embryo Adoption, Cryopreservation, Rehydration, & Artificial Wombs
• Dignitas Personae
• NaProTechnology
• Saint Paul VI Institute

Keep giving God your fiat in the mess.

Pray the Rosary with us!

Save this episode to help you pray the Holy Rosary more deeply and to unite your motherhood to the sublime motherhood of Mary, the Mother of God.

Meditations from A Mother's Rosary Guide

Fiat in the Mess |  Resigning from Martyrdom: Asking for Help in Motherhood (3.15)

Why is it so hard for mothers to ask for help, and why do we feel embarrassed when we get it? Annie and Hailey talk about the temptation to power through like martyrs, the guilt, pride, and perfectionism that keep us from reaching out and why God never meant motherhood to be a solo mission. 

Your Father who sees in secret will reward you. You are a beloved daughter of the King, and He sees the work of your hands. 

Keep giving God your fiat in the mess.

In this episode:

• Mary's pregnancy check-in: week 27, one week from the third trimester. Baby Jesus can recognize Mary and Joseph's voices and perceive light and dark, and Advent is about a month away.
• Annie's story of the housekeeper her mom and aunt hired when she was pregnant with her seventh, and why she was embarrassed to tell anyone
• Hailey's "Hot Mess Express" season, and how God the Father answered her tearful prayer within minutes by sending her father-in-law to the door
• We are dependent, rational creatures made for communion. Self-gift is meant to be mutual, not poured out until we're empty.
• The cleaning and meals support the mission of the family, but they aren't the mission.
• The power of being seen, and why it helps to tell your husband what you need instead of leaving him guessing

Practical ideas:

• Swap childcare with a trusted friend, including date-night swaps
• Trade cleaning: bring your mop to her house, and she scrubs your sink
• Start a meal train, and be the friend who notices when someone is drowning
• Take a weekend away and let your husband hold down the fort
• Write down everything you do in a day to see what you can let go of, and what's simply too much for one person
• If you have the means, hire help such as a housekeeper or meal prep. That's smart delegation, not failure.
• Start a weekly rosary group with other moms
• Hold a Sunday "powwow" with your spouse. Keep a running list all week, then sit down together once the kids are in bed.

Your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

You are a beloved daughter of the King, and He sees the work of your hands. Keep giving God your fiat in the mess.

Have a question you'd like answered in a future episode? Send it our way — we'd love to hear from you!
mightyishercall.com/contact-us

Upcoming Events

• Retreat in Augusta, GA and Wichita, KS

Support the Podcast: mightyishercall.com/podcast-support

This episode reflects on two closely connected Marian feast days in September: the Nativity of Mary and Our Lady of Sorrows. Annie Muller and Hailey Skinner explore why the Church celebrates Mary’s birth, how it points to the beginning of salvation history, and how her sorrows can comfort mothers and anyone carrying suffering.They also connect these feasts to everyday motherhood, hiddenness, surrender, grief, and the hope of Christ’s victory. The conversation blends theology, lived experience, and practical consolation.

• Why Mary’s birthday is celebrated on September 8, nine months after the Immaculate Conception.
• The historical roots of the feast, including its early observance in the Eastern Church.
• Why the Church celebrates only three birthdays in the liturgical calendar: Jesus, Mary, and John the Baptist.
• Mary’s hidden life and how holiness often unfolds without recognition.
• The connection between Mary’s fiat, motherhood, surrender, and quiet sacrifice.
• Our Lady of Sorrows and the seven sorrows traditionally associated with Mary’s life.
• The seven sorrows: Simeon’s prophecy, the flight into Egypt, losing Jesus in the temple, meeting Jesus on the way to Calvary, the crucifixion, receiving Jesus’ body, and his burial.
• How Mary’s sorrows resonate with miscarriage, infant loss, and the pain of motherhood.
• Why devotion to Mary is not worship, but a relationship of intercession, companionship, and imitation.
• The seven promises associated with devotion to Mary’s sorrows, including peace, consolation, protection, and hope.

00:00 — Opening the September Marian feast days conversation

02:17 — Mary’s nativity as the beginning of redemption

03:39 — The history of celebrating Mary’s birth

06:29 — Why September 8 follows the Immaculate Conception

08:25 — Mary’s birth as preparation for the Incarnation

09:41 — Hidden holiness and motherhood

12:50 — Why Our Lady of Sorrows belongs beside Mary’s birthday

16:42 — Why sorrow and glory belong together

18:39 — The Seven Sorrows devotion

21:28 — Explaining Marian intercession

24:16 — Sitting with a friend in suffering

29:29 — Annie’s story of losing her son Gabriel

31:29 — The communion of saints and the thin veil at Mass

36:31 — Miscarriage, grief, and eternal hope

41:56 — Which sorrows strike each host most deeply

46:51 — The Seven Promises of the devotion

49:17 — The promise of peace for families

51:21 — Seeing the face of Mary at death

52:51 — Closing encouragement

"Keep giving God your fiat in the mess."

Annie Muller and Hailey Skinner reflect on Mother Teresa’s life, her fierce trust in divine providence, and the way her witness reshaped how they understand motherhood, vocation, and mercy. They explore why Mother Teresa still matters now, especially for moms carrying the hidden, repetitive work of family life.We discuss Mother Teresa’s biography, the “call within a call,” her love for prayer, and how her example teaches that holiness is found in ordinary acts done with great joy. The conversation ends with Mother Teresa’s Fragrance Prayer, a fitting summary of the episode’s theme: letting Christ shine through the small, faithful work of daily life.

• Annie and Hailey open with their recent retreat for more than 80 moms in Dallas
• Hailey gives a brief biography of Mother Teresa
• Hailey highlights Mother Teresa’s radical trust in divine providence
• Annie reflects on how Mother Teresa helped her see young motherhood not as small or boring, but as a real place of mission and sanctification.
• The two discuss Mother Teresa’s insistence that world peace begins at home, with loving one’s own family first.
• Hailey shares how Mother Teresa became her confirmation saint and how that decision shaped her sense of vocation and mission before marriage.
• Annie connects Mother Teresa’s teachings to the corporal and spiritual works of mercy lived out daily in motherhood
• They emphasize kindness and making others feel seen as practical ways of living Christ’s love in the home.

(00:00) Opening the episode (01:19) Retreat reflections and the gift of gathering with moms(03:23) Why the episode is about Mother Teresa(05:50) Hailey introduces Mother Teresa’s biography(06:56) The “call within a call” and “I thirst”(07:54) Leaving the convent to found the Missionaries of Charity(09:13) Stories of divine providence and unexpected provision(11:17) Prayer before action and Mother Teresa’s insistence on prayer(12:52) Annie on Mother Teresa in the public eye and in her conversion(14:39) Reading No Greater Love in early motherhood(15:53) “How do we promote world peace? You go home and love your family”(16:38) Doing the small things with great joy and great love(18:14) Hailey’s confirmation saint story(23:58) Learning that marriage and motherhood are holy vocations(26:51) No hierarchy of vocations(28:58) The corporal and spiritual works of mercy in motherhood(30:21) Let no one leave without feeling better and happier(34:21) Montessori, eye contact, and greeting children with dignity(40:28) Introducing the Fragrance Prayer(41:13) The quick novena and asking for urgent help

Books and Resources Mentioned:

• Mother Teresa of Calcutta: A Personal Portrait 
• No Greater Love 
• Mother Teresa's Fragrance Prayer 
• Mighty Is Her Call Retreats 

Support the Podcast
[email protected]

This week on Fiat in the Mess, Annie is joined by Mary for a special listener Q&A covering the honest, sometimes scary questions many of you have sent in about marriage and motherhood. Nothing was off-limits!

Mary—one year into marriage and part of the Mighty Is Her Call team—opens up about the surprising anxiety she felt on her wedding day (including the box-breathing trick her dad taught her to get down the aisle), and how she worked through the "what if" thoughts that came with making a lifelong vow. Annie, celebrating 23 years of marriage this week, shares why she loves her husband even more now than on her wedding day, and how grace shows up in the middle of both the joy and the jitters.

From there, the conversation moves into some of the biggest questions newlyweds and future moms wrestle with:

• Do you ever feel trapped after taking your vows? How to tell the difference between a genuine red flag and normal, amoral anxiety.
• The identity shift into motherhood — what changes, what doesn't have to, and why staying connected to your husband and friends (away from the kids!) matters so much.
• Is giving birth embarrassing? Annie's honest take on labor, intimacy, and why husbands walk away in awe, not disgust.
• Wrestling with anger at God—a beautiful analogy about a silversmith refining precious metal, and why bringing your anger to the Lord (not away from Him) is the healthier path.
• Mom guilt and pregnancy exhaustion—permission to rest, the story of Elijah's "nap and a snack" from God, and practical tips for breaking up household chores into doable pieces.
• A messy house isn't a moral failure. Annie reflects on raising six kids in a tiny two-bedroom home—and how her adult kids only remember the happy chaos, not the mess.
• Comparison culture and social media. How to guard your heart against the curated, "constant Christmas card" feel of Instagram and TikTok, and why liturgical living should look different in every home, not like a copy-paste of your favorite influencer.

Whether you're newly married, discerning motherhood, or years into the beautiful mess of raising a family, this episode is full of grace, humor, and hard-won wisdom for wherever you are in your vocation.

In This Episode:

• Managing wedding day anxiety and pre-vow jitters
• Navigating the identity shift into motherhood
• Honest talk about labor, birth, and intimacy after baby
• Bringing anger and hard emotions to God
• Letting go of mom guilt and household perfectionism
• Comparison, social media, and authentic Catholic motherhood

Have a question you'd like answered on a future episode? Send it our way—we'd love to hear from you! mightyishercall.com/contact-us

Keep giving God your fiat in the mess.

Upcoming Events

• Dallas, TX Retreat (August 22)
• Retreats also coming to Augusta, GA and Wichita, KS

Support the Podcast: mightyishercall.com/podcast-support

In this episode, Annie and Hailey sit down for a story-time episode, sharing personal, funny, humbling, and sacred moments from their own motherhood journeys. Since the podcast is walking with Mary through her pregnancy this season, Annie and Hailey frame their stories in the joyful, sorrowful, luminous, and glorious mysteries of the Rosary, reminding listeners that none of us have motherhood figured out, and that God is present in every moment, even (especially) the messy ones.

Here is a taste of what’s in store this episode:

• Joyful: Hailey's plane-ride diaper disaster in South Padre, Annie's skirt mishap at Mass, and a toddler's potty-training protest in the Target toy aisle.
• Sweet moments: A three-year-old's "great idea" to eat all the chocolate, a bedtime visit from "the holy family," and the funny phrases ("papamas," "I can't like it") that stick around for good.
• The sorrowful and luminous: Hailey's Florence pilgrimage and a stunning "coincidence" in a book chapter title; Annie's story of a Scripture verse that came back to her, framed, months after her hysterectomy; Hailey's son losing his front teeth in a park accident, and what it taught her about letting go.
• The glorious: Annie's daughter giving a heartfelt toast at her 50th birthday, and Hailey's tale of two strangers—one sour, one full of wisdom—reminding her the trenches of motherhood are holy ground.

Annie and Hailey close by encouraging listeners to write down and share their own stories: it's a gift to yourself and to others!

Have a story of your own? Share it with a friend—you never know how it might bless them.

Keep giving God your fiat in the mess.

Upcoming Events

• Dallas, TX Retreat (August 22) — both Annie & Hailey speaking
• Retreats also coming to Augusta, GA and Wichita, KS
• Details: mightyishercall.com/retreats

Support the Podcast: mightyishercall.com/podcast-support

This week Annie and Hailey welcome Fr. Thomas Esposito, a Cistercian monk at Our Lady of Dallas Abbey and longtime friend of Mighty Is Her Call, for a warm conversation about vocation, motherhood, and letting go.

Fr. Thomas shares the story of how his parents met (a cigarette, a cup of water, and a nurse who wasn't having it) and reflects on growing up in a joy-filled Catholic home in Omaha, Nebraska, where his mother wove faith naturally into everyday life. He talks about the "annoying hunch" toward priesthood he felt from age twelve, discovering the University of Dallas through a Rome campus brochure, and finding his true calling with the Cistercians—a community he never knew existed until he arrived.

The conversation turns to one of this season's central themes: how mothers help their children discern their vocations without deciding for them. Fr. Thomas offers a beautiful meditation on motherhood as a vocation defined by letting go. And on finding peace not in clinging to our children out of fear but in relinquishing them to the Lord's care.

Hailey asks how families can normalize vocations and build real friendships with priests and religious—practical, heartfelt advice for parents hoping to raise kids who are comfortable and curious about the religious life.

They also dig into Fr. Thomas's new novel, Blue Miles, a fictional look at monastic life set in Nebraska, and why he chose storytelling over memoir to explore themes of memory, loss, hope, and faith. Plus: how a monk with a full schedule of prayer, teaching, and community life found five years to actually write it.

Fr. Thomas closes with a word of encouragement for weary moms, drawn from Psalm 27, learning to recognize the voice of love over the voice of fear.

In this episode:

• The delightful story of Fr. Thomas's parents' meet-cute
• Growing up in a joyful, faith-centered home in Omaha
• His mother's role in his intellectual and spiritual formation
• Discovering UD and the Cistercian order
• What community life looks like inside the Abbey
• Motherhood as a vocation of letting go
• Grounding identity in Christ as children grow and leave
• How to help kids befriend and normalize priests and religious
• Behind the scenes of writing Blue Miles
• Time, freedom, and finding God in interruptions
• Encouragement for moms from Psalm 27
  

Mentioned in this episode:

• Blue Miles by Fr. Thomas Esposito
• University of Dallas
• Our Lady of Dallas Cistercian Abbey in Irving, TX
• Mighty Is Her Call Retreats

Annie and Hailey dive into the 5 Ps  of a Mother's Rule of Life—a traditional Christian framework for ordering your vocation as a mother. Drawing from Holly Pierlot's book A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul, they explore how this order can bring greater peace, intentionality, and closeness to Jesus Christ and her family in the midst of everyday motherhood.

Pierlot organizes a mother's rule around five P's, each building on the last:

1. Prayer: The foundation of everything. Annie and Hailey discuss the guilt many mothers feel around prayer, the many forms prayer can take, and how the daily work of motherhood itself is a form of prayer.

2. Person: Caring for your own holistic well-being — body, mind, and soul. This comes before marriage and parenting because you can't pour from an empty cup. Pierlot's concept of a monthly "mother's sabbatical" is discussed, along with the idea that sometimes our families are called to sacrifice a little for us too.

3. Partner: Nurturing your marriage. Your vows are to your spouse, not your children, and this relationship is the foundation from which everything else flows. Annie walks through Galatians 5 as a framework for cultivating the fruits of the Holy Spirit in marriage. A note of encouragement is offered to listeners in difficult marriages or who are single/widowed mothers.

4. Parent — Raising children by being a living witness. The best parenting flows from the first three P's. Hailey and Annie discuss discipline as an act of love (drawing a beautiful parallel to the Sacrament of Confession) and close with a simple but convicting question: Are you praying for your children?

5. Provider: Managing the practical details of home life: cooking, cleaning, laundry, finances. This P comes last not because it's the least important, but because it is the "orderly stage upon which all the drama of loving relationships must occur." The encouragement: tackle every task as a direct response to God's will.

Books & Resources Mentioned

• A Mother's Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot
• The Temperament God Gave You
• The Working Genius assessment
• Holy Minute,  https://mightyishercall.com/holy-minute/

Upcoming Events

• Dallas, TX Retreat (August 22)
• Augusta, GA and Witchita, KS also are open for registration
• Details: mightyishercall.com/retreats

Support the Podcast: mightyishercall.com/podcast-support
Contact: [email protected]

"Keep giving God your fiat in the mess."