Fighting For Joy

Are you living under the constant pressure of feeling like you should be doing MORE? Or feeling like you should BE more? That you’re always letting people down. Or letting GOD down. If guilt and overwhelm have become a big part of your life, I’m glad you found this episode! As my guest today writes in his new book, You Were Never Meant to Do It All: A 40-Day Devotional on the Goodness of Being Human, “God has not designed us to do everything, be everywhere, or know everything. We can value our work, our bodies, and our relationships without thinking we must have endless energy, always be strong, or have unending emotional reserves. God simply didn’t create us in this way.”

I’m excited to introduce you today to Dr. Kelly Kapic. Eric and I met Kelly and his wife, Tabitha, through mutual friends while our daughter was attending Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia, where Dr. Kapic is a professor of theological studies. Kelly is also a speaker and an award-winning author. His books have greatly impacted our family, so for this episode, I asked my husband Eric to join me in this helpful conversation about accepting and finding freedom in our limitations as humans. There is much to be gained by leaning into God’s good design for us. To realize that we CAN’T “do it all”, not because something is wrong with us, but because we are created to be dependent on God and on others. Only God Himself is without limits and fully in control. As we more deeply settle into this way of thinking and living, we can experience greater growth, a deeper sense of community, and more peace, rest, and JOY!

You can learn more about Dr. Kapic's work and writing here: https://www.covenant.edu/academics/bible/faculty/kapic.html

Also, don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

I thought it would be helpful to re-release this episode with Mother's Day weekend approaching. For many women, this is a complicated holiday that can hold a wide range of emotions. Celebration AND tears. Joy AND sadness. It's now been almost 12 years without Jackson and 5 years without my mom - continued grief. AND, since this episode originally aired a couple of years ago, our family has grown - new joy! When Mother's Day comes this year, I'll have a new daughter-in-law, AND, with Grace's recent engagement, a new future son-in-law. Everything that I speak over my kids at the end of the episode rings true for Mercedes and Cameron now as well.

Listen in as I share 5 practical ways to approach the "both/and" of Mother's Day. These are tools that I personally implement and I know they will help you fight for joy too!

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Today I’m privileged to bring you a tender story of grief from a local friend of mine, Mary Glowacki. Mary was only 15 years old when her mother died. There are not too many things for young girl to face worse than losing her mom and having to grow up without a mother’s distinctive instruction and special care. When you face a future without such a key figure there to help and guide, life can become a real fight for joy. It’s been 40 years since Mary’s mother died, but as you hear her share today, you will get a glimpse into just how impacting and long lasting grief truly is. I know you’re going to love hearing Mary’s heart and be helped by her insight, experience, wisdom, and vulnerability. As she shares some of the practical ways that she fights for joy, I think you'll be encouraged in your own difficult situations. Thank you for listening today!

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Well, guess who I have back on the podcast with me today? My favorite guest and yours, my husband Eric! Today we have a conversation about the grief that is experienced when you lose a grandparent. It’s a topic that I haven’t covered in depth on the podcast yet, but for many people a grandparent dying is their first experience with grief.

One of the things that we hope you take away from this episode is the reminder that death at any age is not the way that its supposed to be. In this broken world, death is an enemy. Processing a grandparent's death, even if they had a long, full life is still hard. Its okay to lean into the brokenness of it all - to hate what death does to our hearts and to acknowledge the void that a grandparent can leave.

Listen in as Eric and I share a little bit about our grandparents and our special relationships with them, and then later in the episode as we talk about how we grieved and processed their deaths. I’m glad you found my podcast today and I hope it brings some encouragement to your heart, especially if you are grieving the tender loss of a grandparent.

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

The topic of sibling grief is near and dear to my heart. Not only did I grow up in a home affected by the death of my sister, I've also watched my own children bravely grieve the loss of their big brother. It feels like we don't hear much about this unique kind of grief so I'm grateful for my guest today, Jena Sietz, and her willingness to share about her fight for joy after losing her little brother Brett in 2018 at the age of 26.

So much of our childhood can’t be separated from our siblings. Our lives are intertwined. Siblings bear witness to our experiences. They knew all the versions of you growing up. They share the memories and inside jokes. As someone once said, “Siblings help hold your childhood.”

So when a sibling dies, there is a lot to grieve. Part of you dies with them. And there’s so much to be processed as life moves forward because you just always assume that your sibling will be there…standing up for you at your wedding, playing the role of aunt or uncle for your kids, and helping you with your parents as they age.

There’s a need to have more conversations about this devastating kind of grief. Listen in as Jena shares about her brother Brett - his life and his death and the impact that grief has had on her fight for joy. I hope this episode sheds more light on sibling loss and encourages conversation around this topic.

If you’ve lost a sibling, my hope is that you feel seen and that you are encouraged to keep going with your own fight for joy. If you know someone who has lost a sibling, I hope this episode prompts you to acknowledge their unique grief (even if it was decades ago) and better understand what it feels like to experience the death of a sibling.

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Today I get to introduce you to my friend, Evian Schindler. You’ll hear a little bit about how the two of us got connected at the beginning of our conversation, but Evian is one of the sweet, faithful people in my life who keep reminding me, even 11+ years after Jackson’s death, that I am not forgotten in my grief. She continues to send me Bible verses, songs, and prayers and it means so much to me! I believe that Evian has been really tuned in to my continued grief and pain because she knows pain herself. I called this episode “Fighting for Joy in Chronic Illness”, and I think that’s a good summary title, but as Evian and I talked about what to name it, we also threw out fighting for joy when you don’t have answers, or in uncertainty, or without a clear diagnosis, or as you wait on God, or when you want to give up, or when you are in pain. As you’ll hear, Evian’s fight for joy has mostly centered around her physical health, but it’s complicated, because as it so often goes, one aspect of our life tends to greatly affect the other areas of our life. So, for someone like Evian, the fight for joy can be pretty hard to define.

I am excited to have Evian on the show today because, first, she’s an amazing joy fighter and I want you to meet her! She has persevered through really hard things and I am thankful for her willingness to share some of the practical ways she has fought for joy. But secondly, I’m confident that her story will encourage YOU. Even if your circumstances are completely different, you probably know how discouraging it can be to find yourself in the midst of a story that God has written for your life that you just don’t like. And don’t want. How do you press forward in hope and fight for joy when circumstances feel out of your control? I think Evian’s story and all of the tender things that she shares around her personal pain will be helpful for you to hear and I pray that you find some takeaways from this episode - a few things that will help you continue to fight for joy yourself as you press forward IN HOPE in the midst of this broken world.

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

This past week I spoke to a group of local ladies called "The Free Birds", women who are in the empty nest season of life. I called my talk “Five Ways to Fight for Joy as Free Birds” and intertwined parts of my grief story, my menopause journey, and thoughts on entering a new year with five practical ways to experience more joy in this unique season of life.

Over the weekend I recorded my talk and am releasing it as an episode today so that you can hear it as well. I’ve been wanting to do something on the topic of being an empty nester, so I am excited to have this to share. And, even if you’re not a "free bird", most of what I talked about will still be applicable to you, so I hope you will listen too!

When I spoke in person, I cut a few things out for the sake of time, so the version you’ll hear today is like the "extended cut", an advantage of recording it at home after the event. I did decide to leave out some of the more private details that I shared with the ladies about the night of the accident - things that I’m not ready to put out into the podcast world at this point…or ever…but again, if you’re wanting to hear more of my grief story, the things that I DO feel comfortable sharing are in Episode 1, and woven throughout almost every episode of the podcast.

So, listen in to what I shared with these women - "Brave Jodi" giving public speaking a try again after a long stretch of feeling like it wasn't what God had for me. We'll see what's ahead with this...

I’m glad you found this episode. I hope it encourages you and that you can take away just one thing to work on as you fight for joy in 2025!

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Today I get to share Part 2 of the little "joy project" that a few of my listeners and friends helped me pull together to bring encouragement and hope to hurting people over the holidays. If it is hard for you to hear people say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Holidays!” because your heart is breaking, my guests today get it. I get it! The greetings and phrases that we use this time of year sound different to someone in pain. Now, this CAN be such a wonderful time of year, but these cheerful words can be piercing, confusing, and even hurtful when you’re grieving - EVEN IF you are grieving with hope as a Christian! As we’ve learned, our faith doesn’t make the hard things hurt any less.

But trust that these happy holiday phrases won’t always feel as hard as they feel now. The delight of the holiday season will most likely return in the coming years. Believe it or not, you will probably blast Christmas music again, host gatherings again, play fun games again, and feel the magic of this time of year again. Maybe you can’t imagine it now, and that’s okay. I couldn’t imagine it for a long time either. But that’s why I wanted to do these episodes about fighting for joy through the holidays - to give you hope while you lean into your hard. To cheer you on as you press forward. To remind you that there are others fighting for joy alongside of you.

So listen in as my friends share. I’m so thankful for their willingness to record these voice memos. As I’ve said, I am always happy to share the things that are helping me, but I certainly don’t have a corner on the market of grief. There is a wide range of experience and ideas out there - and as I’ve said, we can learn from each other. We can borrow, in a sense, the hope and strength of others.

Now, not every situation or way of fighting for joy is going to resonate with you, and that’s okay! In fact, that’s why I was grateful for the many responses that came in. One of these stories will resonate with you. Something will click. So don’t get hung up on someone saying something that doesn’t connect…look for what DOES! Maybe you could just listen for one take away from this episode. These friends represent a wide range of experience, theology, seasons of life, stages of grief, etc. - and each of their situations is unique, so of course they will have different perspectives, ideas, and insight.

These friends are such joy fighters! I’m so proud of them.They have hard stories, and in many cases are still walking through very difficult things. But they said yes to this little holiday assignment in hopes of helping those of you listening - to be the light and encouragement to someone else who needs it. Maybe that’s you? If so, I’m glad you found this episode and I hope that you are encouraged by my companions in this fight for joy!

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

My grief journey has connected me to thousands of hurting people. Almost every week I have the privilege, although its a weighty and costly privilege, of spending big chunks of time listening to, giving witness to, and holding space for people’s pain. I ALSO get to see pretty beautiful and tender glimpses into people’s healing, progress, and returning joy. This past week, as I was interacting with people in both places, I thought to myself, how can I connect these two groups of people? How can I encourage those who feel pretty hopeless with testimony from those feeling hope-FULL? I wanted to connect people lacking joy with people who are experiencing joy again, especially during this time of year, the holiday season, a time of year that can traditionally feel extra sad and heavy for the hurting.

My idea was to do something similar to what I did back in 2020 when we were all thrust into quarantine and isolation during Covid (Check out Episodes #25, #26, & #27). During that time, there was a lot of confusion, fear, and loss. Often when we are in situations and seasons like that, we need each other to bring encouragement. Sometimes we need to borrow strength and hope from others. Soooo, I put a little request out on social media a few days ago asking people to send me an audio message sharing some ways that they are fighting for joy right now - practical things that help them get through the holidays. I was so emotional listening to these messages as they came in. These friends of mine are joy fighters! They have hard stories, and in many cases they are still walking through VERY difficult things. But they took on this little assignment in hopes of helping those of you listening…to bring encouragement to someone who needs it. Maybe that’s you? If so, I’m glad you found this episode and hope that it helps you.Today you’ll get to hear Part 1, about half of the people who will share.Then, in a couple of days I will release Part 2 and you’ll get to hear from the rest of these amazing people!

And to each person who submitted a voice memo and participated in this "joy project", THANK YOU! You are all so special and your stories matter. I know you can testify to the brokenness of this world and/also you keep pressing forward with hope! I'm so proud of you for fighting for joy! Thank you for helping others in the fight as well.

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Today I get to introduce you to Calihan Summerfield as she shares about her painful struggle with infertility. Calihan always wanted to be a mom, but when the timing felt right to start a family, she began to feel as if her body was betraying her…why wasn’t it happening? What was wrong? Why was God withholding this from her? What are the options? It’s crushing when our plans, dreams, and deepest desires aren’t coming to fruition, especially when it seems like everyone around us is getting to experience what we want!

Infertility statistics continue to rise so I’m grateful for Calihan’s willingness to share this deeply personal and emotional journey. As you listen to her story, I think you’ll be encouraged by her fight for joy! It certainly hasn’t been easy, and there are still questions she is wrestling with, but today, as she brings hope from the other side of infertility (because, spoiler alert, her heart is now exploding with delight over her precious daughter Scottie!) her story may be just what YOU need to keep going for one more day in your own struggle, whether that be with fertility issues or some other disappointment in life.

*Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!