Financial Conversation Podcast

The importance of effective communication is undeniable. But, how do you know if you are actually an effective communicator?

In this week's episode of the podcast, we discuss the importance of communication, how to be a good communicator, and how to solve communication problems with the people in your life.

Being able to communicate effectively can help avoid miscommunications and help you get the things you truly want in life.

Here are 5 keys to communicating effectively.

Don't Talk, Listen

You may be surprised to learn that the first key to communicating effectively is to practice good listening skills. Unfortunately, many of us don't practice good listening skills most of the time. Rather than listening and comprehending what people are saying to us so we can then process and respond appropriately, we are simply waiting for our turn to talk.

When you do this, there may be repeats in the conversation, plus your conversations will never be deep or meaningful. Next time you are communicating with someone verbally, don't think about what you'll say when it's your turn to talk. Instead, focus on truly listening to the other person while they are talking.

Speak Simply and Clearly

When it is your turn to talk, make sure to speak simply and clearly. Use common language and don't use niche terms or abbreviations. People often use complicated words or niche terms in an effort to sound smart or sophistated, but all it really does is turn people off. Simple word choices with clear meanings are the best way to communicate effectively.

Get to the Point

Similarly, don't beat around the bush. Get the point quickly, but also without leaving out anything important or relevant. The best conversations are those that have the right amount of details, but not so much that they drag on and on. Especially when asking for something you want, be clear and get to the point.

Use Good Body Language

Another important thing to do to be an effective communicator is to use good body language and understand the body language of those with whom you are speaking. Make yourself open to the conversation rather than crossing your arms or legs or turning your body away from the conversation. Make eye contact and make an effort to seem alert and interested.

Being able to read the body language of others will also help you to have a good and effective conversation. You'll be able to tell when they are becoming bored or uninterested in what you have to say.

Take the Emotion Out of It

The biggest flaw most people make when communicating is allowing emotion to take over. Like anything else in life, when emotions take over the conversation can take a turn for the worse. It's difficult to communicate effectively or receive a message effectively when your emotions are running high. With loved ones this can also cause one or both parties to say things they don't really mean. If you can't take the emotion out of the conversation, try coming back to the topic later.

For more tips and specific examples, check out this week's podcast episode.

Don't forget this is the last episode of this season. We'll be back soon to cover our new season about saving more money. In the mean time, you can check out all of our episodes so far in our podcast library.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:50 - How important is communication?
• 11:50 - Clarify!
• 13:20 - Have you gotten anxious from miscommunication?
• 14:40 - Passive aggressively agreeing to jobs or tasks
• 20:20 - Solving communication problems

Related Links to Check Out:

• How to Ask for What You Want
• How to Say No (and Why It's Important)
• Find all of our episodes here!

Do you ever feel like a yes man or woman?

Do you feel compelled to agree with every request, task, or option you receive even when you're really not on board? Many people find themselves doing this because they either just want to be polite or easy to work with. If you're a people-pleaser, you probably say yes often as well as a result.

This week on the podcast, we're discussing what happens when you don't ask for what you truly want and how it can hold you back.

Why We Don't Ask For What We Want

The truth is, many of us have trouble asking for what we want whether it's at work or in our personal life. We do this for a number of reasons but here are three of the main motivating factors.

You Want to Seem Compliant

If you strive for order and structure, it's natural that you'll want to seem compliant and want everything to run smoothly. Society teaches us at a young age that putting ourselves first is wrong and our wants and needs are not as important as the next one.

We're always taught to consider others first and make them happy. If you happen to want something that doesn't quite fit into that selfless mode, you may start to feel wrong or guilty when it comes to asking for what you want so you hold back.

You're Afraid of How Others Will React

Fear is another factor that can prevent you from asking for what you want. If you value what others think about you and how they perceive you, you'd probably be afraid of how they will react when you ask for something that different.

Even if you say you don't care about what others think, we all do to a certain point which is why you probably wouldn't leave the house in pajamas and with your hair a mess.

You Don't Know What You Want

Finally, the third main reason why you may not ask for what you want is because you don't even know what you want, to begin with. If this sounds like it may resonate with you, you most likely either don't know what's possible or just don't know how to reach your end goal or why you're trying to reach it.

What you want or think you want may be too vague. For example, there are a ton of people who enroll in college each year because they claim they want a good job, but haven't really narrowed down what they want their 'good job' to help them achieve in life and what that job would include.

There are many students with undecided majors because they have no idea what they want. If you find yourself not knowing what you want or not realizing what's possible, you need to determine your values and envision the life you want so you can seek out opportunities that will support your end goal.

The Benefits of Asking For What You Want

There are so many benefits to finally being able to ask for what you truly want. While many fear that risk won't be worth it or that they'll experience backlash for being blunt and authentic, it's usually not the case. By being firm and asking for what you want, you can:

• Become happier and more satisfied
• Be able to take care of yourself better
• Have less stress and anxiety
• Gain more respect from others
• Communicate better with others
• Improve your overall quality of life

Ready to start learning how to define what you truly want and ask for it without fear and guilt? Listen to our podcast episode.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:20 - Putting Yourself First (and not being rude about it)
• 6:00 - Evaluate your goals and your job to find common ground
• 16:30 - If you don't ask for what you want, then nobody will know what you want
• 22:10 - Asking for what you want - a raise and knowing your own value

Related Links to Check Out:

• Why Being Busy Shouldn't Be a Badge of Honor
• What it Means to Live Authentically
• How to Let Go of What You Don't Want to Create More Space
• The Grass Isn't Always Greener When You're Self Employed
• Ted Talk: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are by Amy Cuddy
• Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy
• You can also listen to the audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial of Audible.com!

Are you sick and tired of feeling overworked, overstressed, and like you have no free time?

Do you constantly find yourself overcommitted and juggling how to fit just one more thing into your calendar?

We are tired of this too! That's why we are talking about how you can say no (even to family and friends) and why it's important in this week's episode of the podcast.

It can be so hard to say no. You may find yourself feeling guilty, especially if you say no to friends and family, or if you say no to taking on more work and earning more money. But saying no can become easier over time and it's actually very important to learn to say no.

Read on to find out the do's and don'ts of saying no and why it's an important word to have in your vocabulary.

Do Take Time to Think it Over

One of the biggest reasons people say "yes" to things they don't really want to do is because they feel pressured to answer right away. This is especially true if you are asked in-person, but it's become even more common via other forms of communication as well. With the constant connection people have to email, text, and social media these days, we've become accustomed to getting an answer right away.

This is the biggest reason you'll end up doing things you aren't passionate about or don't value - because you felt compelled to answer right away. When you feel that pressure, you often don't have time to clearly think over your decision to decide if you really want to say yes or no to a request.

So, next time you are asked a "favor" or a request is made of you, take the time to think it over. You can still let people know you received their message with a simple, "Let me think about it!" answer.

Don't Drag it Out

While taking time to think it over before answering is a great way to avoid yessing yourself into an overbooked schedule, you shouldn't drag it out. Take the time you need to think about a request, but don't avoid answering altogether. You can't simply ignore a person or their request, because they probably won't forget about it. Then when they ask again, you'll feel guilty and may end up saying yes even though you'd already decided you should say no.

Don't Over (or Under) Explain

When you do decide to say no, be careful about tacking on too long of an explanation. You may feel like you need to a valid reason (or 10) as to why you are saying no. But the truth is, you don't need to do this! Giving several reasons why you have to say no to someone won't make you feel any less guilty. Instead, just offer a simple explanation that we've found to work most of the time:

"No, I can't help with XYZ, because I wouldn't be able to give it my full attention right now."

Leave it at that. There's no reason to over apologize or over explain why you are saying no.

Do Offer an Alternative

One way to still be helpful to the asker is to offer an alternative when you say no. For example, offer to help at a different time when it's more convenient for you, or offer to point them in a direction to someone else who might be able to help them instead. If it's someone asking for your help for a charitable organization, perhaps you could offer a monetary contribution instead of donating your time.

Offering an alternative isn't something you must do every time you say no. When you offer an alternative, make sure it's something that's easier or less complicated for you.

Don't Feel Guilty

This may be the hardest tip, but when you say no, don't feel guilty! Remember, why it's important to say no from time to time and there's absolutely no reason why you should feel guilty.

Why It's Important to Say No

There are several reasons why it's important to say no. One reason is because saying yes to every opportunity that comes your way means you can't dedicate your entire focus on doing the best job possible for everything you've said yes to. You won't be able to provide your 100% focus to anything if you don't say no to some things.

Another reason to say no is because you have to put yourself first. If you are constantly saying yes to everything and everyone else, you'll lose sight of your values and priorities. When that happens, you might realize one day that you are on a completely different life path than you set out to achieve. It'll take a lot of work to get back to your original path, so it's easier to just say no to the things that won't help you get there in the first place.

Finally, saying no isn't a bad thing. In fact, saying no could be a good thing. When you say no to doing things you don't want to do, you are able to yes to so many other things like:

• Taking care of yourself
• Having a day off
• Spending time with family and friends
• Relaxing and recharging to the best you can be

For more tips on how to say no and why it's important, listen to our podcast episode.

In this episode we discuss:

• 2:05 - How to say no and not feel guilty
• 6:20 - Saying no to friends and family
• 10:30 - How Chonce has gotten better at saying no
• 22:45 - Changing your mindset - What are you giving up by saying yes to everything?
• 27:00 - If it's not a "hell yes", say no!
• 28:30 - When you say yes, you are still saying no to something else!

Related Links to Check Out:

• Why Balance is Elusive, and How to Accept it
• The Importance of Defining Your Values
• Why Being Busy Shouldn't Be a Badge of Honor
• How to Let Go of What You Don't Want to Create More Space
• The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness by James Altucher and Claudia Altucher
• You can also listen to the audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial of Audible.com!

So many people strive for the perfect balance in their life, but will they every find it? We've talked about finding balance in many of our episodes in the past but in this one, we're discussing why it's really difficult to achieve and why you should accept the fact that life will not be perfectly balanced all the time.

The Truth About Work-Life Balance

If you're struggling to find the perfect work-life balance, you're not alone. Many workers find it hard to balance their jobs with their social and family life. It leaves them feeling overworked, stressed out, and frustrated.

Sometimes work-life balance gets so bad that you need to consider taking another job. In order areas, it all depends on how well you can prioritize and manage your time.

If you are taking on way too many responsibilities, saying yes to everything (especially things we truly don't want to do), and putting a ton of pressure on yourself, it's no wonder why you feel like you can't balance.

When you say yes often and prioritize everything, then nothing actually becomes important. Instead, make deliberate choices about what you want in life and how you want to spend your time.

Does It Ever End?

Whether you're a fan of 'balance' or not, you have to realize that your ideal vision of the perfect balance may not ever be realistic. Therefore, you may never get to your end goal if you simply seek more balance. First, you have to ask yourself what balance means to you and what you can actually control.

For example, you can't control emergencies that throw you off schedule or a random phone call from a family member who you haven't talked to in a while. You can't schedule out or anticipate everything. There are going to be some days when things are just all over the place and you'll need to embrace the chaos and move on.

In many ways, the idea of achieving the perfect balance can be very flawed. Balance is often not the end goal and it can't be because while it can be influenced, it can't be controlled 100%.

When people say that want more balance, they are usually craving a specific end result which is in fact not balance at all. Your end goal may be to spend more time with your family, stop working at a certain time each day, enjoy your hobbies more, and just protect your overall quality of life.

These are the things you should focus on instead of trying to equally distribute your time and energy to all the various different aspects of your life.

Rethinking Balance

We challenge you to rethink balance. It's usually not what you truly want in the end. While you may achieve a more balanced schedule and obtain more time to enjoy your life outside of work, the "balance" you achieve will go out the window as soon as a disruption pops up and throws your day off.

Achieving the perfect balance long-term is nearly impossible. Plus, a balanced life may not even make you happy or fulfilled in the end. What you really want is more time to focus on what's important to you. It's not guaranteed that achieving balance will actually protect what is most important to you or give you the end result you want.

Instead of working so hard to achieve balance - which is something that looks different to everyone - create the life you want that revolves around your values and interests.

For more tips and advice on balance and how to find a new perspective on the popular concept, be sure to check out our episode.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:45 - Let's talk balance!
• 13:00 - Have you considered NOT balancing?
• 22:15 - Finding a new perspective on balance

Related Links to Check Out:

• Why Being Busy Shouldn't Be a Badge of Honor
• How to Stop Being a Perfectionist

This episode was brought to you in part by Audible.com. You can listen to any audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial using our link!

Have you found your purpose in life? It can be difficult to figure out what your path is, but once you do, it can help you feel so much more fulfilled.

The truth is, none of the three of us have all the answers. We're still working on using our gifts and figuring out our purposes too. Plus, your purpose might change over time, making it even more difficult to pursue.

This week on the podcast, we're discussing things we are doing to try and figure out our purpose and what we think it might be at this point in our lives.

How to Find Your Purpose

Since we're all still in our 20's, we're still working on finding our purposes and the best ways to use our gifts. But, what we've discovered so far is that finding your true purpose takes time and quite a bit of self-reflection. There are several things that go into it, a few of which we've already discussed this season and last season, such as:

• Knowing your values
• Living authentically
• Ignoring those around you
• Practicing gratitude
• Cultivating an abundance mindset

It's not as if you'll wake up one day and be able to exclaim, "This is my purpose!". Plus, you may even find that what you once thought was your path in life is no longer fulfilling to you. Thus, your path and purpose may change over time.

It's pretty rare that people discover their path in life at a young age, and sadly, some people never discover their purpose. Even after "growing up" and entering into the "real world" after college, many young adults still don't know how to use their gifts or what their purpose is in life. This could be part of the reason why so many young adults change jobs and move locations several times in pursuit of happiness and finding their life's purpose.

Of course we all want our live to have meaning and provide value for the other humans on the planet, but sometimes finding your purpose isn't as cut-and-dried as all that. Sometimes "finding your purpose" may mean nothing other than finding a job you mostly enjoy and don't suck at. #thetruthhurts But that doesn't mean you should stop looking for ways to use your talents and gifts.

Why It's Important to Find Your Purpose

We know it sounds cliche, but finding your purpose is important for so many reasons. It can help you live a fulfilling life free of the pressures of society and keeping up with others. It can lead to greater happiness for you and those around you. And, finding your purpose can help you attract work and other opportunities that don't make you feel suffocated.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:45 - What are your thoughts on your purpose? How can you use your gifts to find your path?
• 4:45 - The "quarter life crisis"
• 10:00 - Trying new creative outlets to find your life's path
• 11:30 - What has helped you find your purpose so far?
• 22:00 - Chonce's story of helping people
• 29:15 - Asking people to weigh in on your gifts and talents
• 30:15 - Your career doesn't have to be the way you use your gifts

Related Links to Check Out:

• How to Let Go of What You Don't Want to Create More Space
• What it Means to Live Authentically
• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
  • You can also listen to the audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial of Audible.com!

What does creativity mean to you and do you practice it outside of work? Work can take up such a big part of our day and become a huge part of our identity which can create an issue.

It's easy to become obsessed with earning the most money and becoming the best team member that you forget about having hobbies that you love and embracing your creative and playful side.

This week on the podcast, we're discussing how you can give yourself more permission to be creative and go after fun things that have nothing to do with work or being the best. But first, here are a few things you should know about creativity.

Being Creative Can Actually Make You Better At Your Job

Saving all your creativity and energy for the job can actually turn out to be a bad move. Ever had a 'creative block'? That's probably because you've been overworking yourself and forces creativity into your job to achieve certain results instead of taking the time to experience it first hand and pull from personal experiences.

Having a creative outlet and a hobby that excites you and allows you to relate, explore, and create can be very good for your wellbeing and mental health.

Creativity allows you to express yourself and learn more about yourself. Whether you like to paint, draw, make crafts, sew, fix things, etc. these creative tasks can add to your identity outside of the workplace and even improve your overall mood.

Creativity Can Be Freeing

I know we just listed a few creative activity in the previous point, but creativity doesn't look the same for each person. What seems creative and fun to you probably won't look exactly the same for the next person.

The cool thing about letting go and embracing creative and playful activities and hobbies and that there is a broad range of options you can explore. There's no right or wrong solution which can make being creative feel pretty freeing.

Creativity allows you to escape limitations and the boring status quo.

8 Easy Ways to Embrace Creativity

While creativity can mean anything for you, we've included just a few easy ideas of ways you can start being more creative in your everyday life just to get your wheels turning.

By no means do you have to limit yourself to these ideas. In fact, we'd love if you could respond in the comment section with some of your favorite hobbies and ways to feel creative after listening to our episode and takeaways.

1. Write in a journal. Start your memoirs. Capture the most amazing parts of the entire year.
2. Make a small token gift for someone. The next time a birthday or holiday rolls around, consider making something small and special for someone in your life as opposed to going to the store and picking up a generic gift.
3. Use an adult coloring book. This can be a fun and relaxing way to relieve stress as well.
4. Do a DIY project in your home. Don't take on anything stressful, but if DIY projects excite you, feel free to add your own creative spin on the finished product.
5. Try a different type of art. Try your hand at painting on a canvas or creating pottery.
6. Mend your own clothes. Challenge yourself to learn something new. This will help you save money too no doubt.
7. Work on improving the visual appearance of your food. If you love to bake, you can try decorating a cake or improving the presentation of the meals you prepare. Some food looks too good to eat but culinary art is just another way to embrace your creativity.
8. Create something meaningful. If you've ever wanted to write a book or create a gadget that will make your life easier, stop hesitating and start taking action. Don't let money or recognition motivate your efforts. Instead, let your creativity drive and motivate you throughout the entire process.

In this episode we discuss:

• 2:30 - How have you tried to embrace creativity?
• 3:42 - What does it mean to be creative as an adult?
• 10:15 - Kayla's childhood belief - "No such thing as an imagination!"
• 12:00 - How do you make time for embracing creativity?
• 19:20 - Using TV as a cop out or time filler instead of something creative
• 22:50 - Creativity doesn't blossom in boundaries
• 27:10 - The importance of finding clients or employers that allow embracing creativity in the workplace
• 29:10 - Letting fear hold you back from embracing creativity

Have you ever found yourself caught up in the trap of automatically responding with "busy" whenever someone asks how you are doing or what's going on in your life?

We have, and we're tired of the scripted nature of this conversation.

It seems as if no one is actually asking these questions to find out a genuine answer. Instead, these have become part of a standard and scripted greeting.

Plus, whenever you say "busy" as you answer, it always prompts the person to tell you that it is a good thing because it equals success.

But, we're here to tell you that being busy isn't the same as being productive or being successful. In fact, we've come to believe that it's actually a negative thing.

That's why the topic of our podcast this week is how you can stop being busy and break free of the idea that it is the same as being successful.

Why "Busy" Doesn't Equal Success

As we said before, being busy is NOT the same as being productive or being successful. And yet, may people proudly share how "busy" they are all the time when talking with friends and family or posting on social media. Because of the positive reactions of our friends when we share our busyness, it's become a big trap to feel like you always have to be busy in order to be successful.

But the truth is that when we're too busy, we are actually being less productive. We aren't able to focus on the task at hand, and we might end up multi-tasking. There are even times when being busy can lead to things slipping through the cracks, being forgotten, or being rushed, resulting in poor quality.

This is a big issue at work and at home. You don't want to be so busy that you lose track of things at work or in your business if you're self-employed. Nor do you want to carry that mindset over to your home and your family. If you've ever been on the other side of someone who's too "busy" to pay attention to you during a meal, activity, or conversation, you know how annoying, frustrating, and even hurtful it can be.

How to Stop Wearing "Busy" as a Badge of Honor

So, how can we stop wearing "busy" as a badge of honor when friends and family ask about our lives? On the show, we joked that it would be a good experiment to tell people how things are REALLY going when they ask us in a scripted greeting. But in all reality, the best way to stop wearing busy as a bade of honor is to stop over-scheduling ourselves, stop saying we're busy, and break the idea that it's a good thing. Here are a few ideas for how you can begin implementing this in your life:

1. Don't say you're "busy" when people ask how you are doing. Use a different word choice and strive for authenticity.
2. If you do answer that way, remind people that there is such a thing as "too busy" when they praise you for it or suggest that being busy is a sign of success.
3. Schedule down-time for yourself so you have time to not be busy on a regular basis.
4. Learn your values and stick to them when you are asked to commit to something that you don't want to do or don't have time to do.

Once you put these things into practice, you'll truly see that being constantly busy and stressed is not a good way to live your life over the long-term.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:15 - Why we always say we're "busy" when people ask how we are doing
• 2:00 - Why busy isn't really a good thing
• 5:00 - Making a mental shift to recognize that it isn't a badge of honor
• 7:15 - The difference between busy and productive
• 14:50 - Do we ever get sucked in to saying yes so we can seem busy?
• 19:15 - What do you value spending your time on?
• 20:40 - Finding meaning outside of busyness
• 22:15 - When your hobby becomes your job
• 30:07 - Finding an identity outside of work

Related Links to Check Out:

• What it Means to Live Authentically
• Getting into the Practice of Gratitude
• The Importance of Defining Your Values
• Parkinson's law about work
• Essentialism by Greg McKeown
• You can also listen to the audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial of Audible.com!
• Chonce's new hobby: Latch hook

This episode was brought to you in part by Audible.com. You can listen to any audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial using our link!

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How often do you show gratitude? Being grateful is a habit everyone should adopt because it can change your entire outlook on life.

Sometimes we get comfortable with our situation and start to take it for granted which can lead to unhappiness and feelings of inadequacy.

This week on the podcast, we're discussing how to embrace gratitude and make it a regular habit. Each of us has our own experience and opinions on showing gratitude so there's more than one way to integrate the habit into your life.

How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

Having gratitude provides many benefits that can change your entire life for the better. First, it's been proven that gratitude can improve your quality of life. The 'you only live once' mantra really comes into play here because you don't want to spend all your time complaining about how things aren't good enough, being envious of others, or making a mental list of everything you don't have.

Gratitude improves your quality of life by allowing you to be more positive and enthusiastic about your present and the future. You'll also be less stressed and have a lower risk for mental illnesses like depression.

Bring grateful also forces you to work with what you have and embrace your current state instead of worrying about having more and more things.

When you think about it, it feels pretty good to be grateful and live in the moment and embrace the imperfection of everyday life.

Finally, being grateful allows you to put things into perspective and be realistic. There's nothing wrong with setting goals and wanting to improve your life but starting with a mindset that includes gratitude can help you get there faster and stop bring so hard on yourself.

3 Quick Ways to Become More Grateful

Realize that you haven't really been showing a lot of gratitude lately? You're not alone. It's easy to lose sight of what you should be grateful for each day and only be reminded during certain holidays or on birthdays.

It's important to get into the habit of being grateful each day because special days like holidays come and go and they aren't the only time of year that you should be grateful.

Here are three quick ways to help you get back on track:

1. Write down or make a mental list of everything you have to be grateful for. Even the simplest things can make it on the list like having clean water, a roof over your head, your health, a job (even if you aren't crazy about it), etc.

2. Tell someone who plays an important role in your life 'thank you' and make sure they know how grateful you are for them.

This could be your significant other, your sibling or parent, a coworker, a trainer at your gym, or even a staff member at the office you work at.

If someone makes even the smallest difference in your life each day whether it's holding the door for you or remembering your morning coffee order so it's ready quicker, be sure to show gratitude and mean it.

3. Think of a bad situation and how being grateful can turn it into something positive.

This shouldn't be difficult since it's usually easier for us to think of the negative aspects of our lives.

If you don't like something about your life, be constructive and try to turn it into a positive. For us, we all started personal finance blogs that catapulted exciting new careers as online entrepreneurs. We wouldn't be where we are today if we didn't start by practicing gratitude, then take our issues with debt and personal finance, and turn it into something positive.

Being grateful doesn't mean you should just settle and don't have to take action to improve your life. It actually can mean the opposite. To learn more about gratitude and how you can use it to change your life, be sure to listen to this week's episode.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:45 - Erin talks about her passion for practicing gratitude
• 3:20 - Chonce shares how she practices gratitude
• 5:20 - Kayla talks about being grateful daily
• 7:00 - Using a gratitude journal to remember to be thankful each day
• 8:30 - The power of gratitude in business
• 9:45 - Gratitude as a push for success
• 11:15 - Using gratitude to create abundance
• 18:30 - Gratitude overcoming inadequacy
• 24:40 - The problem with thinking, "things could be worse"

Related Links to Check Out:

• How to Stop Being a Perfectionism
• The Power of Habits Over Resolutions
• How to Get Away From Keeping Up with the Joneses
• Let Go of What You Don't Want and Create More Space
• Recommended product: The One Minute Gratitude Journal
• Recommended product: Gratitude Journal: A Daily Appreciation

This episode was brought to you in part by Audible.com. You can listen to any audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial using our link!

Do you struggle with being a perfectionist? If so, we can relate.

There are times when being a perfectionist is seen as a good thing. It means you strive to always do your best, but it can also be a hindrance.

Because being a perfectionist can cause harm to yourself and your loved ones, we decided to tackle the topic of how to stop being a perfectionist in our podcast this week.

The Problem with Perfectionism

If you take perfectionism to an extreme, it means you are literally striving for everything to be 100% perfect. You can get caught up in the details and end up wasting a lot of time on something that could be completed in far less time by a non-perfectionist.

This can be a problem if you are self-employed because you won't be able to get as much value for your time on a project. But, even in a traditional career, this perfectionism can be a problem. When you get stuck in these little details, not only are you hindering your productivity, but you can be holding up your co-workers too.

Plus, being a perfectionist also means you tend to expect those around you to hold up to your "perfect" standards, which is nearly impossible. Not every one is driven to strive for perfection, and when you expect that of others, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

The bottom line is that nothing will ever be 100% perfect, so striving for perfectionism is striving for failure.

How to Stop Being a Perfectionist

Stopping your perfectionism is easier said than done, but it is something you can work toward.

Put Things in Perspective

One of the best ways to stop being a perfectionist is to put things in perspective. When you find yourself caught up in the details, ask yourself the following questions:

• Will this ever truly be perfect?
• Will there be a negative consequence for it not being perfect?
• Is it "good enough"?
• How much better can it really get if I continue to stress over the details?

These questions can help you put things into perspective and hopefully realize that the law of diminishing returns definitely applies to projects you are striving to make "perfect".

Step Away

Another way to stop being a perfectionist is to realize when it's time to step away from a project and actually do it!

Give yourself a break, or focus on something else you need to complete. When you come back to your project later, you'll likely find that the work you've completed is good enough. In fact, it may even be better than your clients, employers, etc. were expecting already.

Stepping away and coming back to a project later can give you a fresh perspective on something.

The bottom line to remember is there's truly no such thing as perfect.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:10 - Have you always been a perfectionist?
• 2:45 - What are some of the drawbacks of being a perfectionist and having high standards?
• 7:10 - How perfectionism can hurt other people in your life
• 18:05 - How to give yourself some grace as a perfectionist
• 23:40 - Don't celebrate the "small" wins, celebrate every win!
• 23:50 - There's no such thing as perfect. Striving for perfectionism is striving for failure.
• 26:50 - Learning to embracing the imperfect and embracing failure

Related Links to Check Out:

• Why You Shouldn't Skimp on Self-Care
• The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown
• You can also listen to the audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial of Audible.com!

Being authentic means coming from a real place within. You can only live authentically once you've defined your values and beliefs so that your actions and words align with them.

Living authentically is something we believe everyone should strive for because our time is often so limited and you only have once shot to live on this Earth. If you want to live with fewer regrets and be more fulfilled, it's important to embrace an authentic lifestyle.

Breaking Through Barriers

Living authentically sounds easy, but it's harder to accomplish especially as you get older. The younger you are, the fewer experiences you have with other people and society as a whole so it's easy to live an authentic life.

However, once you start having negative and positive experiences with others, you may let people and outside factors like the media influence how you act, what you believe in and how you live your life.

It's important to disconnect from worrying about what other people think about you as you strive to establish a lifestyle that allows you to be who you are and to let go of toxic relationships with others who may be preventing you from living authentically.

5 Ways to Start Living an Authentic Life

If adopting a more authentic life is something you're striving for this year, here are 5 key ways to help you establish it.

Define Your Values. We discussed this during last week's episode if you missed it. Defining your values will truly set the tone for your life and guide you through everything that you do. If you don't know what's truly important to you in life yet, you need to stop and define your values.

Accept yourself for better or worse. When you get married, you vow to accept your partner during the good and bad times. Do this for yourself as well. Stop beating yourself up for your shortcomings and embrace each stage of life you're in. 'Good and bad' thinking can keep you trapped in a never-ending cycle of self-judgement and self-worth issues.

Defend what makes you happy. What makes you feel happy and fulfilled? What is that constant factor that your life would not be the same without? Once you determine what those things are, give yourself permission to be a little selfish and embrace what truly makes you happy regardless of whether other people understand or agree with it.

Cut the dead weight. Cut ties with toxic people in your life who don't support you or stand in the way of you and your authentic life. By cutting out people who act as a barrier, you can open up the door to connect others people who accept and support you.

Own it and make no apologies. While there's nothing wrong with being scared of shy at times, when you're living an authentic life, you own who you are and make no apologies for being yourself. You call yourself out when you've done something wrong, and you stand by your beliefs and values.

In this episode we discuss:

• 1:10 - What does living authentically mean?
• 4:00 - What authentic living looks like for Erin
• 8:20 - What authentic living looks like for Chonce
• 11:45 - What authentic living looks like for Kayla
• 14:50 - Examples of other people who live authentically
• 18:30 - Identifying toxic relationships that are holding you back from living authentically
• 20:35 - When it's scarier to live without authenticity than to make changes to live authentically
• 22:19 - A parent's perspective on authentic living and being judged by others
• 24:49 - How living authentically is a continual process

Related Links to Check Out:

• The Importance of Defining Your Values
• Brene Brown's books that inspired Erin
• Essentialism by Greg McKeown
• You can also listen to the audio book for FREE with a 30 day trial of Audible.com!