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A blistering take on how private equity uses financial engineering — SPVs, rating tricks, and “volatility laundering” — to disguise junk-like credit as investment-grade paper and shove it into pensions, insurers, and unsuspecting investors. This piece exposes inflated valuations, hidden illiquidity, and fee-heavy schemes that keep limited partners waiting for real payouts while PE firms paper over risk. Read it as a warning: do your homework, demand honest mark-to-market accounting, and don’t let glossy suits and clever legal structures hide the rot.