Confidence isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, and it definitely doesn’t always look like being the loudest in the room. In this episode, Hero Cait deMello shares her evolving relationship with confidence, breaking down the difference between external validation and genuine self-trust. Through personal stories, vulnerable insights, and a refreshing honesty about self-doubt, Cait redefines what it means to be “confident” — not as a performance, but as a quiet, grounded sense of self. Whether you’re outgoing, reserved, or somewhere in between, this episode will help you explore where your confidence truly comes from — and how to nurture it from within.

What You Will Learn

• [00:02:10]  How confidence can coexist with social anxiety.
  
  
• [00:03:45]  The impact of people-pleasing on self-worth.
  
  
• [00:05:18]  Why is being loud or outgoing not the same as being confident?
  
  
• [00:06:40]  How childhood experiences shaped Cait’s understanding of confidence.
  
  
• [00:08:55]  The difference between external validation and internal self-trust.
  
  
• [00:10:42]  How over-apologizing signals a lack of confidence.
  
  
• [00:12:11]  The importance of learning to sit with discomfort.
  
  
• [00:14:05]  Why confidence is a practice, not a fixed trait.
  
  
• [00:15:30]  How to recognize when confidence is rooted in fear.
  
  
• [00:17:20]  Why it's okay not to have all the answers.
  
  
  

Standout Quotes

• “Confidence doesn’t mean being the loudest person in the room. It means trusting that you belong in the room — even if you’re quiet.” – [00:05:25]
• “For a long time, my confidence was performative. It was more about being liked than being myself.” – [00:09:10]
• “I’ve learned that true confidence is actually really quiet. It’s not flashy — it’s peaceful.” – [00:13:32]
• “Sometimes, confidence is just showing up anyway, even when you’re scared or unsure.” – [00:15:00]

Resources Mentioned

• The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt (Book)
• Unlocking Us with Brené Brown (Podcast)

Let’s Connect!
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Cait deMello

Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

Chandler Stroud

Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

Mixing and editing provided by Next Day Podcast.