In the final episode of Finding Forgiveness - A Family Fairytale, Susan Gibson brings her journey full circle by writing a heartfelt letter to her mother, just as she did when the podcast began. This closing letter reflects on her and her mother's transformation as they worked to mend their relationship. Although their bond was never perfect—like many mother-daughter relationships—Susan chooses to focus on the precious moments they shared in the last years of her mother’s life. She acknowledges the unanswered questions but decides to let them rest, cherishing the peace they found together. As Susan signs off on this last episode, she shares a dream and talks about visiting her mother’s grave, leaving listeners with a powerful message about the importance of forgiveness. Susan doesn’t want the relationships and connections formed during this podcast to fade away, so she encourages her listeners to stay in touch, inviting them to share their stories of forgiveness.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:00] Susan writes a closing letter to her mother: Hi, mom

• [1:46] Susan talks about transformation and unanswered questions

• [4:41] Susan discusses her mother and the time they forgive each other

• [7:27] Susan reveals she has been back to her mother’s grave, and she talks about a dream she had about the experience

• [10:48] Susan signs off on her last episode of Family Fairy Tale - Finding Forgiveness

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• It took work for Susan and her mother to mend their relationship. It was never perfect, but no mother-daughter relationship is without disagreements

• Susan still has unanswered questions, but she has decided to put them aside and remember the last years she and her mother spent together and the memories they made

• Susan does not want the relationships she has formed during this podcast to disappear, so she encourages listeners to email her. She would love to hear from you

QUOTES: 

“Just as I opened my podcast a year ago with a letter to my mother, I'm closing in the same way. Perhaps you, too, would like to write a letter to someone you've forgiven or would like to forgive. It's always been my go-to when saying the words out loud feels frightening and final.”   Susan Gibson

“Though this is the last episode of my podcast, Finding Forgiveness - A Family Fairy Tale, it's not the end of our time together. I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at [email protected]. Thank you for being with me and listening to my family fairy tale.” Susan Gibson

“What a year it’s been. I've been through a lot of deep exploration, exposing tender spots, and sharing closely held secrets, family secrets, your secrets, and my secrets. I've celebrated our family, our life together, and my life. I've explored my heroine's journey, with the backdrop of you and our ancestors, my friends and foes, my allies and ogres. I've learned so much more about myself. You know how I love transformation.  Transformation of organizations, transformation of others, transformation of myself.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech. She started as a developer in the mid-80s and continues today as CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin. Together, they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a labor of love.

Welcome to Finding Forgiveness: A Family Fairytale, hosted by Susan Gibson. In this heartfelt episode, Susan invites listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and the transformative power of forgiveness. She begins by discussing the importance of setting a themed goal for each year. This year's focus is "Integrating My Whole Self." As the episode unfolds, Susan reflects on how sharing her personal story has been a healing experience, emphasizing the balance between our feminine and masculine energies. She also explores how embracing the present moment can bring clarity and peace. Throughout the episode, she reminds us that while we cannot change the past, we can learn from it, and through forgiveness, we can create new, healthier relationships—even with those who have caused us pain. If you’re struggling with forgiveness, Susan is here to guide you and would love to hear your story.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:35] Setting a theme goal for each year: Integrating My Whole Self

• [2:52] Finding freedom in forgiveness and the power of storytelling

• [6:24] Reflecting on how sharing this story with the listener has been healing and the partnership of feminine and masculine energies

• [12:25] Thinking back on heritage and current partnerships and acknowledging her feminine and masculine sides

• [17:28] Susan is excited about what is coming next in her life and taking a look at our life experiences and what has brought us to this moment in time

• [22:19] Learning how to live in the moment

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• We cannot change the past. We can only learn from it and examine how we experience it.

• It is possible to start a brand new relationship with a person who has caused hurt. You can find freedom in forgiveness.

• If you are hurting and struggling to get started on the path to forgiveness, Susan is here to help and would love to hear your story. 

QUOTES: 

“Every new situation brings a new experience. Even the same old situation brings a new experience because we are different from one moment to the next. From one day to the next. Day one, week one, one year to the next because our experience has extended by one moment, one week, one year.”   Susan Gibson

“Each of us influences and affects someone else, who influences and affects someone else, who influences and affects someone else and so on. Being a human being carries an enormous responsibility because we are not alone. It also carries great comfort, because we are not alone.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

Susan Gibson’s LinkedIn

Finding Forgiveness YouTube

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech. She started as a developer in the mid-80s and continues today as CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin. Together, they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a labor of love.

Welcome to "Finding Forgiveness: A Family Fairytale," hosted by Susan Gibson. In this episode, Susan invites listeners to explore the depths of their masculine hearts, beginning with a poignant reflection on a dream she had following her mother's death. She candidly discusses her evolving feelings towards the patriarchy, acknowledging past resentment that has since softened. Susan recounts a moment at a conference where she was subjected to inappropriate behavior.  As she navigates her journey to find her masculine heart, Susan delves into the healing power of integrating feminine and masculine energies.  Susan would love to hear what's in your masculine heart or help you find it first, and she would be honored to be your guide or assist you in finding one.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [1:10] Susan challenges the listener to wonder what is in your masculine heart, and she describes a dream she had following her mother’s death

• [5:28] Susan admits she has held resentment towards the patriarchy; however, now it has softened

• [7:03] Susan shares an instance at a conference where a man was inappropriate and how she and others responded

• [15:25] Susan finds her masculine heart

• [18:42] A discussion of the combination of the feminine and masculine and how the combination will help you find healing and forgiveness

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• The feminine can heal the masculine nature inside of us and help us find our masculine heart

• The pandemic brought out kindness in some people but anger in others

• Change begins with ourselves and flows from the healing and forgiveness you can share with others

QUOTES: 

“The man knew he was inappropriate without anyone saying or pointing it out. The bros are evolving and policing each other's behavior. Remarkable. Amazing. I think I found my masculine heart that day, and it was filled with love and forgiveness. Oh, forgiveness takes so many forms. Forgiveness of another. Forgiveness of self. Forgiveness of a societal structure. I'm still working on forgiving the patriarchy. But I am grateful that I found my masculine heart filled with love and forgiveness. That's important as I continue to heal myself.” Susan Gibson

“When we can heal our masculine heart, it allows that heart to shine. The masculine heart can confront the patriarchy and the masculine structures in a way that the feminine energy cannot, right? The masculine energy knows the masculine structures, just like our feminine energy inherently knows the feminine structures. So, finding a way to see our masculine heart and let it shine is vital to our existence and changing the structures around us. It takes a combination of feminine and masculine energy for that to happen.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech. She started as a developer in the mid-80s and continues today as CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin. Together, they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a labor of love.

Welcome to "Finding Forgiveness - a Family Fairy Tale" where host Susan Gibson dives into the profound journey of healing and reconciliation. Today Susan invites us to explore a deeply rooted question: how do we mend wounds inflicted by others? As we navigate her insights Susan challenges us to embrace vulnerability and the importance of not facing our struggles alone. She unveils the transformative power of reconnecting with nature as a pathway to healing and advocates for seeking guidance along this intricate path. Drawing from her own experiences Susan shares the symbolic roles of loved ones who become our spiritual guides in times of need — from her Grammy appearing as an owl to her mother embodying the strength of an eagle. Join us as we embark on this heartfelt exploration of forgiveness and redemption guided by Susan's compassionate storytelling.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:01] Susan challenges the listener to wonder how we can heal wounds inflicted by others 

• [1:46] Reflecting on how the split occurred between Susan and her mother and acknowledging it

• [5:28] Reclaiming the feminine energy by not walking this path alone

• [13:08] Susan discusses an event that reminded her of her split with her mother

• [17:17] Immersing yourself in the natural cycles of the world

• [21:33] You need a guide when you acknowledge the split and the wounds it has caused. Susan’s Grammy serves as her guide 

• [24:59] How forgiveness helped Susan reclaim your full feminine power

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• When someone hurts you you must acknowledge the hurt caused

• Surround yourself with people who share and celebrate feminine energy

• Find a way to connect with nature because nature has healing rhythm and energy

QUOTES: 

“The acknowledgement of the split between my mother and me has taken me a long time to come to terms with. I went through many different experiences and feelings throughout all those years from my early twenties until I turned 50. But to make sense of the world because of the wound that had been inflicted on my emotional being by my mother, that acknowledgment is key to finding a path to wholeness.” Susan Gibson

“I started this transformation when I turned 50, 12 years ago. I began to hone in on the natural world and I did a ritual around the natural cycle of the solstice and equinox and did a cleanse. It's about a 10-day cleanse and it helped me clear my internal self. It made me feel refreshed and ready for the next few months. It's a ritual I hold very dear to my existence and it helped me be very much in tune with my inner self and nature by doing this cleanse.”  Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

Susan Gibson’s LinkedIn

Finding Forgiveness YouTube

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech. She started as a developer in the mid-80s and continues today as CEO of Temenos+Agility a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner Siraj Sirajuddin. Together they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating fitness yoga and meditation music theater opera reading movies travel family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine a labor of love.

Welcome to the Finding Forgiveness podcast, hosted by Susan Gibson. In today's episode, Susan delves into her family tree, uncovering the stories of her female ancestors. She shares how the feminine strength and courage woven through her lineage empowers her. Additionally, Susan discusses the importance of slowing down, embracing moments of relaxation, and simply being human amidst our busy lives. This episode is an excellent reminder for all of us to stop being busy and enjoy life. 

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:35] Looking back into her family tree, Susan discovers her connection to the feminine

• [3:44] Discussion of the process of reclamation

• [7:42] An homage to the women in Susan’s life who worked hard to provide for their families

• [15:19] Susan reminisces about her mother and how the apartment complex she lived in was her community

• [21:47] Susan has high regard for her mother and all of the women who have come before her

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• In our society, rewards come from doing something, not being who we are

• Everyone has the feminine in them, we all come from generations of strong women and men

• Looking back on your family tree will enlighten you about your roots. You may find you have the strengths of a loved one long gone

QUOTES: 

“Learning how to be instead of always doing, giving time and space for this reclamation to happen, is essential and hard. especially if you've been rewarded for doing, and we are. We live in a culture of doing, and we are rewarded for doing. You know, hard work is an ethic in our modern culture, and being isn't so much a reward.” Susan Gibson

“I didn't realize how much I wanted and needed the practice of being until I had the chance to stop doing so much all the time. I didn't know I wanted and needed this until I could be discerning in my relationships and make intentional decisions

about who I wanted and needed to spend time with. I didn't realize this was something I wanted and needed until I could reduce my distractions, dampening the noise around me, allowing me to hear what the universe was saying to me.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

Susan Gibson - LinkedIn

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech. She started as a developer in the mid-80s and continues today as CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin. Together, they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.

In this episode of Finding Forgiveness with Susan Gibson, Susan explores the profound journey of descent and reemergence, examining how far one must fall before beginning to rise again. She outlines three pivotal moments where she recognized her descent and saw the potential for transformation during this process. Reflecting on how the COVID pandemic opened her eyes to an ongoing descent and the start of her reemergence, she acknowledges that two truths can coexist: a continuing descent and a subsequent reemergence. Susan invites listeners to share their stories. If this scenario strikes a chord with you, tune into this episode of Finding Forgiveness: A Family Fairy Tale.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:35] Susan reveals her exploration into how far down you descend before you hit bottom, and she has experienced 13 different life-changing losses

• [2:20] Susan outlines three of her life-changing losses

• [6:06] Controlling destiny and allowing transformation and descent at the same time

• [13:40] The opening of the universe with Susan’s new life partner and forgiving her mother, but refusing to go deeper

• [22:04] COVID opened Susan’s eyes to the continuing descent and the start of reemergence

• [26:21] Therapy with a Jungian psychoanalyst into the heroine’s journey

• [28:39] Susan recommends two fictional books she highly recommends and would love to hear from her listeners who have experienced a descent and reemergence

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Maureen Murdoch says that a life-changing loss usually precipitates our descent into the belly of the whale

• Descent and transformation can happen at the same time

• Often, you need to decide who you want in your life and those you don’t

QUOTES: 

“I had to transform to survive in my professional world because I no longer had any community around me. After that descent, I ventured out independently and built a successful career; I had not hit bottom yet. The betrayal from that break with my professional-self was very real. I felt it acutely, but I did transform in that moment. I learned that I needed to be in control of my destiny. I thought I'd been in control until then, but I was not.” Susan Gibson

“It feels like you're suffering terribly when you're in it, but that emergence of self is not negative at all, but it's scary. It's terrifying because transformation means you're changing into something different than what you were before. And that's frightening. It will kick in all of your instincts around surviving that you've known so far, and you’ve just got to let all of that go. To allow my true self to emerge, and at this point, after these three life-changing losses, I was still descending and transforming along the way. They were happening in parallel.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

Finding Forgiveness - A Family Fairy Tale | Podcast on Spotify

Finding Forgiveness - A Family Fairy Tale | Podcast on YouTube

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech. She started as a developer in the mid-80s and continues today as CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin. Together, they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.

Today, we delve into the painful yet transformative topic of betrayal. Betrayal wounds deeply, but it can also be the spark that ignites healing and forgiveness. I will share my most profound betrayal: being ousted from the inner circle at work, which ultimately led to the loss of my long-term job. We've all experienced betrayal at some point, and many of us have been the betrayers, too. If this strikes a chord with you, tune into this episode of Finding Forgiveness: A Family Fairy Tale. 

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:35] Susan reveals her biggest betrayal from the founder of the company she worked for: Betrayal One

• [4:59] Susan discusses how she betrayed the founder: Betrayal Two

• [9:31] How Susan betrayed herself: Betrayal Three.

• [10:00] Susan reflects on what she learned from these three betrayals

• [16:46] Susan describes the fallout

• [22:53] Susan dives into the betrayal of herself and her inner struggle

• [26:34] Susan takes action and would love to hear from her listeners’

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• When a betrayal at work occurs, it is a daily remembrance of what happened, causing tension and a lack of trust.

• Often, co-workers deny support to someone when they know the truth but do not want to jeopardize their own position or standing.

• The takeaway is to be transparent. Be above board. Stand firm in your truth. 

QUOTES: 

“Those in the room were all speechless. This person from the primary consultancy looked at me and asked if this was true. I said no, none of it was true. The crack became a chasm. It was only a matter of time before I was terminated. Before I could resign, I was fired. All of my work friends scattered. No one returned my calls or emails. I was utterly alone.” Susan Gibson

“Betrayal number three: Me to myself. I learned throughout this experience that I'd been betraying myself all along. I was not staying true to who I was deep down inside. I had buried that person so deep inside of me that I didn't even know who she was. Once everything stopped around me and I could listen to my inner voice, I started rediscovering who I was and who I really am. Even though these betrayals deeply hurt me, I also felt a sense of liberation as I started this self-discovery journey. It was no time to retreat.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech, starting her career as a developer in the mid-80s to today, where she is CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin, where they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally, to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits: healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.

Today, we dive into the complexities of long-term professional success and the internal conflicts it can create. Join me as I share my journey of navigating 47 years of apparent triumphs while battling self-doubt and emotional turmoil. We'll explore themes of patriarchy, female masculinity, and the struggle to maintain authenticity in a demanding world. Discover how self-sabotage and moral dilemmas played a role in my path, leading to a profound journey of forgiveness for both my mother and myself. Tune in for a raw and honest discussion on finding peace and embracing your true self amidst societal expectations.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:35] Susan is conflicted about feeling success in the patriarchy, and she feels she inherited the female machismo from her mother

• [7:40] Change came in 2009 when Susan began to question self-awareness and a recurring haunting dream

• [11:58] The snake of self-sabotage

• [15:14] Susan’s values, moral and emotional conflicts

• [18:33] Susan’s path to forgiveness with her mother and toward herself

• [24:20] Susan encourages you to forgive someone and face your ogres and would love to hear from you

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• It’s wise to follow your heart in your life’s pathway. Society has ideas for you, but stay true to yourself to experience true happiness.

• It’s never too late to forgive others or yourself. Tomorrow can be the first day of your best self.

• If you struggle with moral or emotional conflicts, contact a coach or counselor for help.

QUOTES:

“I am my father's daughter. I identified with the masculine from an early age. This relationship with the masculine carried me through and taught me how to excel in my academics. In my early career days and throughout my marriage, all of my choices were masculine and associated with masculine mathematics, computer science, and applied physics in my young years through my primary school education.” Susan Gibson

“It takes a lifetime to find out who you are. I'm still learning about myself. It takes a lifetime, and I’ve learned that we've got to be open to all of the input channels coming our way. We have to be discerning, but first, the openness, because if we're not open to what the universe is trying to tell us, we’ll miss the opportunity to step into who we really are. I would say that's been the fundamental and groundbreaking lesson that I've learned over these years.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech, starting her career as a developer in the mid-80s to today, where she is CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin, where they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally, to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits: healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.

Have you ever felt like you took the blame for someone else's actions? Maybe you've been in a situation with a difficult person, an "ogre," as we'll call them here, who caused turmoil in your life. It's natural to wonder if you could have done something differently, but the truth is, you can't change other people. The good news? You can change how you view yourself in the situation. This episode is about the power of self-forgiveness. We'll explore why letting go of blame and embracing self-compassion is essential. We'll also learn practical techniques to help you forgive yourself and move forward. So ditch the self-criticism and get ready for a healthy dose of self-love. We’ll even discover the magic of a good self-hug!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:34] Susan invites you to give yourself a hug and thanks those who have supported her through life.

• [4:16] Susan says that part of her healing process was to forgive herself, and she discusses her mother’s ogres.

• [7:17] Susan believes that you must face your ogres to heal. She reflects on the ogres in her life and wants listeners to try a self-hug again while thinking of an ogre in their life.

• [13:38] It’s easier to say I’m not to blame than it is to forgive yourself, and we can’t control anxiety. You learn techniques to alleviate the uncomfortable feelings.

• [19:39] The bottom line is finding forgiveness, but what if you are the ogre?

• [23:27] Susan encourages you to forgive someone and face your ogres and would love to hear from you.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• We need to appreciate the people in our lives who help us understand our gifts and cultivate them. It feels like a safe hug.

• Part of coming to terms with ogres in your life is to face them. You don’t fight them or disparage them, you face them. 

• The ogres in our lives are generally not strangers; they are people we know and who are a part of our lives. 

QUOTES:

“I started doing yoga online. The first time the instructor had me hug myself, I cried. It was such an amazing experience to feel that deep, deep hug of myself when I remember my allies and everybody who has helped, loved and supported me to bring me to this moment in my life, to allow me to be present and show up with who I am.” Susan Gibson

“I see myself as brave and courageous and an active participant in my life, the life around me, and in my community. I've spoken before about my wariness with strangers but realized that my ogres were not strangers. Statistically speaking, our ogres are not generally strangers. They're somebody that we know who are trying to destroy us. Trying to think about what I could have done differently in a particular situation is destructive thinking. That's an internal ogre.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech, starting her career as a developer in the mid-80s and continuing today. She is CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin. Together, they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits: healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.

This episode contains reflection of child abuse and domestic violence. Listen with care. 

Join me as I open up about three pivotal moments throughout my life where I faced daunting challenges in the form of ogres. These encounters left me fearful and scarred, but through therapy and self-discovery, I found the strength to confront and overcome them. From betrayal to manipulation, each ogre represents a unique struggle that shaped my journey toward healing and understanding. Tune in to discover how therapy became my beacon of hope, guiding me toward resilience and empowerment.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:34] Susan asks if you have ever met your ogres, and she introduces her ogres J, D and W

• [1:38] Susan begins by discussing her trauma inflicted by Ogre J as a young girl

• [8:22] Susan’s second Ogre is D, who appeared while she was in college, whom she had agreed to marry but then ended their relationship

• [18:21] Susan’s stepmother and father learn of Susan’s traumatic experience with Ogre D, and he stalks Susan for years, resulting in an episode of domestic violence

• [22:29] Ogre W was a manipulator and sadist, which affected deeply Susan

• [25:33] Has Susan found forgiveness toward any of her Ogre’s?

• [27:36] Susan encourages the listener to reach out to her if you want to discuss the ogres in your life

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• When a five or 6-year-old child is requested to engage in activities with another child, whether of the opposite or same sex, that makes them uneasy, they might not grasp the long-term implications of such experiences.

• When confronted with a volatile individual in a dire situation, avoid assuming you can reason with them calmly. The problem wouldn't have escalated to such extremes if they were inclined to reason.

• Therapy provides individuals with a supportive environment and professional guidance to explore and address emotional, psychological, and interpersonal challenges, ultimately fostering personal growth and well-being.

QUOTES:

“I’ve discussed this with my therapist, it was all part of keeping a secret that I'm still living with. All these years later, I do wonder about the safety and security of my friend growing up in that house with her brother, who was a troubled child and grew up to be a troubled adult. And I just hope that she was safe with him as her brother.” Susan Gibson

“I'm not ready to forgive them. I am living with these behaviors, and I live with them every day in some way, shape or another. I can say good riddance to these ogres. I can face them that way, but forgiveness, I'm not there yet. Maybe one day I will be, but I still feel the danger that they both represent in me.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech, starting her career as a developer in the mid-80s to today, where she is CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin, where they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally, to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan is a frequent contributor to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks at public and private events worldwide, using her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga & meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.