In this second part of Frontline Midwife Anna Kent's story, Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, from an early miscarriage to the tragic loss of her baby daughter Fatima at only 6 months gestation, due to a rare brain condition. Anna discusses the impact this had on her mental health and grief, as well as the transformative experience of having her second daughter, Aisha. Anna emphasises the importance of creating safe spaces to discuss and honour baby loss. The episode also highlights Anna's memoir, 'Frontline Midwife,' and the legacy of her late midwife friend, Helen Loewenstein.

*Trigger Warning* Miscarriage, baby loss, very brief mention of suicide.

In This Episode:

[00:00] Teaser quote

[01:47] Introducing Anna Kent

[03:25] Anna's personal journey with motherhood

[04:11] Unexpected pregnancy, distressing miscarriage

[09:21] Challenges and decisions during Anna's second pregnancy

[14:03] The birth and devastating loss of Fatima

[21:38] Coping with grief and moving forward

[23:37] Pregnant again, with Aisha

[24:59] The need for empathy and compassion in midwifery

[26:18] Concentrating on positive birth experiences

[29:16] Aisha's birth story

[31:15] Balancing grief and love, honouring Fatima's memory

[33:42] How to help a grieving parent

[40:14] The impact of writing the 'Frontline Midwife'

[45:19] Current life and reflections

Key Takeaways:

1. Anna Kent's Instagram page to find out more about Anna and her work.
2. Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries.
3. A cerebral teratoma is a rare, malignant, and fast-growing tumour that originates in the brain and is made up of multiple tissues.
4. Zephyrs Charity in Nottingham supports families following pregnancy loss or the death of a baby or child.  They run a number of therapeutic support sessions for bereaved parents in the Nottingham area.
5. The Helen Loewenstein Memorial Trust was set up to honour Anna’s midwife friend Helen.   We make grants to cover course-fees and essential study expenses for student midwives in Liberia who would not otherwise have sufficient funds to become qualified midwives.
6. Listen to “It’s Not The End: Recovery After Baby Loss’ with the wonderful Keji Moses of Mayah’s Legacy.
7. Click this link to find out more about Keji's charity, Mayah's Legacy
8. NHS on Miscarriage information.
9. The Miscarriage Association is a UK charity providing further support for those experiencing baby loss.
10. Tommys is the largest charity in the UK carrying out research into the causes of miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. 
11. Sands Baby Loss Charity is a UK charity providing information and support for those who've experienced pregnancy loss. 
12. Petals Charity provide a free counselling service to support women, men and couples through the devastation of baby loss.
13. The Lullaby Trust offer confidential bereavement support to anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child.
14. Bliss Charity page on bereavement support with links.
15. Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a child dies or when a child is bereaved.
16. Anna's book, 'Frontline Midwife: Finding Hope in Love, Death and Birth' is available from Bloomsbury and other good bookshops. It has just been released in paperback.

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Taking A Pause:

Due to some sad family news, Blue MumDays is going on hiatus, so thank you for your patience while I take some time out. In the meantime, please feel free to listen to the many fantastic conversations I've had in the archive.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

1.    Acacia Family Support Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, [email protected]. 

2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) Moderated Forum, click here to find out more. Email: [email protected] / Tel: 020 3322 9900

3.    AIMS for better birthing. [email protected]. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)

4.    Andys Man Club A non-judgmental talking group for men. [email protected]

5.    Association of Postnatal Illness Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: [email protected] (Live chat online facility)

6.    Best Beginnings. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents

7.    Birth Trauma Association Email: [email protected]

8.    CALM. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

9.    Cedar House Support Group for mums with postnatal depression. Email: [email protected] (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556.

10. Contact - for families with disabled children. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.

11. Dad Matters. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. [email protected] / 0161 344 0669

12. DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

13. Dope Black Dads - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. [email protected]

14. Family Lives provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222.

15. Family Rights Group. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366.

16. Fathers Mental Health UK is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.

17. Fatherhood Solutions. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

18. FiveXMore. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: [email protected]

19. Gingerbread offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925.

20. The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.

21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.

22. LGBT Mummies support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: [email protected]

23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) Email: [email protected]

24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care.

25. Maternal OCD Peer support available, email [email protected] to arrange.

26. Mayah's Legacy support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: [email protected] / 0300 102 1596.

27. The Motherhood Group are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. [email protected]

28. Motivational Mums Club offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. [email protected]

29. Music Football Fatherhood offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. [email protected]

30. Muslim Women’s Network Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: [email protected] Text: 07415 206 936.

31. National Autistic Society for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

32. Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

34. PANDAS Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 [email protected]

35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. [email protected]

36. Petals Baby Loss Charity offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 [email protected]

37. The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: [email protected]

38. Sands Charity offer emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby. 0808 164 3332 /Email: [email protected]

39. SHOUT text support service for anyone struggling to cope. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained volunteer.

40. Twins Trust. Twinline is a listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. 0800 138 0509 / email [email protected].

41. Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth. [email protected].

42. The Unlikely Mummy offers community support for mums and families, including local walking groups, counselling, lactation support and a forest school. Email [email protected]. 

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