Finding Joy in the Hard

How often do you catch yourself thinking, “I should have done that differently”?

On my way to an important meeting in New York City, I found myself caught in a loop of “should haves” because I left home later than planned.

In this episode of Finding Joy in the Hard, I share how I shifted from criticizing myself to noticing what was going well. I also reflect on how freeing it can be to stop comparing ourselves to others and accept who we are.

A few questions to consider:

• Where are you being unnecessarily hard on yourself?
• What is going well that you might be overlooking?
• Are you trying to be someone you're not?
• What can you appreciate about yourself and this moment?

Sometimes a simple shift in perspective can change how we experience our day.

Thank you for listening to Finding Joy in the Hard. Until next time, be well.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

What if that interruption in your day can actually make way for meeting someone you never expected? What if, rather than looking at it as an annoyance, we question what might be possible?

That’s the experience Suzanne shares from an ordinary Thursday. It’s a chance to begin looking at your day a little differently.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

In this episode, I shared what I’m learning from taking part in a 21-day storytelling challenge on Instagram—and what it has been like to say some of my quieter thoughts out loud.

I talk about sharing my struggle with feeling and expressing anger, my tendency to fill uncomfortable silences rather than speak up, and a new way I’m practicing staying in those moments.

I also share about telling a small piece of Christopher’s story—his leukemia diagnosis at age three and how we tried to make sure cancer didn’t define his childhood.

Three days into the challenge, I’m noticing what happens when I stop trying so hard to make everything sound right and allow myself to share more of what is actually true.

In this episode:

• My discomfort with expressing anger
• Practicing silence instead of automatically smoothing things over
• Sharing part of Christopher’s story
• The difference between what we show on the outside and what’s happening inside
• What I’m learning about vulnerability and saying the quiet things out loud

You can check out the Instagram reels I reference here. 

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

A simple Aqua Zumba class had me take a look at some things I don't like about myself. 

In this episode, I share what happened when I found myself in a class where everyone else seemed to know what they were doing—and what it revealed about my own thoughts, assumptions, and desire to appear like I have it all together.

Do you ever hold yourself back because you don't want others to see you in that awkward, unsure phase?  

That was definitely me. I didn't get out of the pool to get lighter weights and I tried to pretend I knew what I was doing when I was flailing about. 

So often we focus on the uncertainty. What we miss is the bravery it took to try something new. 

Note: This episode was recorded during the period when wildfire smoke affected air quality across the northeastern United States.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

Today is the anniversary of my son Christopher's death, and I'm out walking the path across the street from my house — the same path we used to bike together. In this episode, I share how peace can be found more often than we realize — in the smallest of moments. 

I also share: 

• Why I didn't really understand what peace meant until I lost my little boy and knew its absence
• The origin of my gratitude journal practice, started when my son Christopher was on chemo
• A guided Jin Shin Jyutsu practice (holding the thumb) to calm worry and regulate your nervous system — and how you can use it anywhere, in a meeting, before a hard conversation, or whenever you need to come back to center

Remember you are so much stronger than you think you are.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

Do you find that you're feeling more impatient lately? Have you ever asked yourself where are you rushing to?

In today's episode, Suzanne shares a story of waiting in line at a French café and how she found herself getting more and more impatient — despite not needing to get anywhere. She shares how she settled herself, other common examples of where impatience shows up, what we can do about it, and how we always get to choose. Impatience really is a choice.

Reflection question: What brings up impatience for you, and how do you settle it?

I'd love to hear from you. You can DM me here on IG.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

Is there something you're yearning to do — a dream that maybe others think is a little crazy, but you know you have to do it anyway?

In this episode, I share how to go for it, using an example of my own: the beginning and ending of the foundation I started in honor of my little boy Christopher. Over 16 years, we worked with over 1000 kids! We touched and were touched by 10 times that number. 

I share how even though we officially ended The Christopher Barron Live Life Foundation on June 30, the magic continues. In this episode, I share the exciting news.  

Here's something to keep in mind when you start something new: You won’t have all the answers when you begin as much as your mind wants you to. You can’t. When you start out, you only have as much as you need in that moment—the rest reveals itself to you as you go. 

Thank you as always for listening. 

If something is coming up for you, I’d love to hear it. You can DM on Instagram. Here. 

Be well. 

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

What led you to say yes? 

Recently a mentor asked me – what was it that had you say yes to living in Seoul, Korea when it wasn’t common to do so. Fun? Curiosity? Intuition? A call?

For me, it started with a high school internship, a decision my parents made (without my consent) and one moment in a room at the Blue House in Seoul where a Korean student said something I couldn't argue with — and couldn't forget.

I ended up attending graduate school in Seoul, without knowing the language. I left fluent with incredible experiences that changed the trajectory of my life.  

So what was your moment? The class you took on a whim. The friendship that changed everything. The painting. The yoga teacher. The thing that might not have made anyone else go "wow" — but shifted something in you.

It doesn't have to be dramatic. It just has to be yours.

Reach out and tell me on Instagram here. I mean it.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

Are You Putting Yourself First?

If that question made you cringe, this episode is for you. I share a small but revealing moment from my own week — a meeting, a 15-minute ask I wouldn't let myself make, and what happened when I got to campus anyway. It's a story about how quickly and automatically we abandon our own needs without even realizing it.

In this episode:

• Why putting yourself first isn't selfish — it's necessary
• How we disappear from our own equation without noticing
• Why "listen to your body" doesn't work when you've spent years overriding it
• A simple question to ask yourself when you're about to shrink
• Why it's okay — and brave — to speak up after the fact

Try this: Next time you're about to automatically accommodate, pause and ask: what would feel good right now? Then take that next brave step — not because it's easy, but because you matter.

📩 I'd love to hear from you — reach out to me on IG here.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions. 

When Annie lost her brother Ben to a suicide bomber in 2009, she went to a bookstore looking for a book about sibling grief. She couldn't find one. So she wrote it.

Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief is a practical and compassionate guide for one of the most overlooked groups in grief — the sibling.

In this episode, Annie shares:

• The story of her brother Ben — his service, his values, and how he was killed by a suicide bomber in October 2009
• Why she catastrophized his death for years before it happened, and why she still couldn't believe it when it did
• What it means to be a forgotten mourner — and why siblings are so often expected to simply be okay
• Why the word "acceptance" felt impossible to her, and how she came to understand radical acceptance on her own terms
• How grief resurfaces at unexpected life milestones — and why she recommends siblings revisit therapy around age 30
• The long road to writing this book, including three proposals, an auction, and one publisher who asked her to remove the word "sibling" from the title

Five takeaways from Suzanne:

1. Radical acceptance doesn't mean you're okay with what happened. It means you acknowledge it, you don't run from it, and you don't suppress it.
2. Siblings are often expected to be fine because all attention goes to the parents, surviving spouse, or surviving children.
3. Until a sibling lets themselves say I'm allowed to be upset, full grieving is nearly impossible.
4. Sibling grief resurfaces throughout your life — at milestones, in new relationships, in parenthood. It doesn't end.
5. There is no possible way to be the parent you want to be for a grieving child. You do the best you can. That is enough.

Find Annie: Instagram: @annisklaverorenstein Always a Sibling is available wherever books are sold, including bookshop.org, Amazon, and your local bookstore.

About Annie: Annie Sklaver Orenstein is a cultural researcher, writer, and storyteller who has spent over a decade conducting in-depth qualitative research with thousands of people around the globe on behalf of brands including Viacom, Crayola, Twitter, Netflix, Instagram, Pfizer, and more. Her mission is to illuminate the true — and often difficult — realities of the human experience in order to build social empathy, provide validation and empowerment, and influence meaningful change.

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions.