Finding My Religion

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In the final episode of Season 3, we flip the script. My dad takes the mic to ask me the tough questions — the ones I’ve been dodging or quietly wrestling with since this project began. From growing up in the church to breaking away from its framework, from fearing hell to finding peace in uncertainty, this conversation is raw, reflective, and maybe even healing.

We talk about what it means to be agnostic, how parenting shifts our spiritual lens, and why it's okay — even freeing — to not have all the answers. Thank you for listening, for sharing, and for allowing space for conversations that rarely happen out loud.

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In this episode, I talk with my dad about where he is today—years after stepping away from the church, years into recovery, and miles into a quieter, more mindful life. What started as a story about leaving religion has become something much more honest: learning how to live with uncertainty, how to be at peace in the present, and how to show up for the people we love.

We talk about Buddhism, AA, the fear of change, and why it’s okay to not have all the answers anymore. It’s a conversation about real transformation—not overnight, not dramatic—but slow, steady, and deeply human.

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On a quiet night around the campfire during a family camping trip, I sit down with my wife, sister, brother-in-law, and dad for an honest, unfiltered conversation about the podcast—and the personal truths it’s brought to light.

Together, they unpack some of the most surprising revelations from the series, including:

• How Myles’ sister had no idea her parents came from different religious backgrounds
• The family’s reaction to learning Don once preached while intoxicated
• Their mother’s ongoing fear that her children might end up in hell
• Don’s admission that he purposely avoided preaching about homosexuality
• And the troubling teaching methods they all remember from their former church

As the conversation unfolds, it evolves into something bigger—a reflection on how their family has changed, how their faith has shifted, and what it means to question authority and religious certainty.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the show—it helps others find it. Have a question or guest idea? Reach out to Myles at [email protected] or find us on social by searching “Finding My Religion Podcast.”

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In this episode, Myles and his dad Don continue their open and honest discussion about Don's faith journey. After leaving the ministry, Don struggled to find meaning and purpose, as his identity had been so wrapped up in being a pastor. He discusses how he gradually started to question his conservative Christian beliefs, as he was exposed to more scientific perspectives that contradicted his theological training. This led Don to eventually move away from identifying as a Christian, and explore more Buddhist principles as a way of finding fulfillment and meaning in his life. The episode explores Don's internal process of losing his firm Christian doctrine, and how he has found comfort in a more fluid, principle-based approach to spirituality.

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In episode four, we talk to my dad about a pivotal moment in his life as a pastor: his church burning to the ground. This moment sparked a fundamental change in his life, his faith, and his career. 

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In episode 3, my Dad and I discuss his life as a pastor. What goes into it? How did he come to that decision? 

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In episode 2, we dive into my dad's faith journey after marriage and kids. How did his interest in the Lutheran Church and Christianity grow so fast? What drew him in? And what was the moment he knew he wanted to be a pastor?

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In this season of FMR, we are focusing on my Dad's faith journey. In the first season we heard from him at a time in life when he was still figuring things out. Three years later, we focus our entire season on his religious path.

Episode 1 covers my Dad's nervousness for this project. How are his former colleagues in the LCMS church going to perceive this? How will his former parishioners view this? We also dig into his childhood to find out how present religion was at home.

• Season 1 Episode with Don Phelps
• The Clergy Project

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Season 2 is a wrap! Now it's time to work on Season 3, but we need your help! Click our survey (link in bio) to participate in next season and receive 15% off from FMRPOD.com!

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Join us as my sister-in-law, Leslie Carnaghan, PhD, takes us through her personal odyssey from a church-going youth to an atheist with a deep understanding of the human quest for community and spiritual fulfillment. Her insights, shaped by a rigorous scientific upbringing and an extensive career in public health, cast a fascinating light on the complex relationship between skepticism, atheism, and the spiritual aspects of human life.

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