Finding Solace

Feeling like a “loser” is almost inevitable in a world that worships money, status, and constant self-optimization. In this episode, I talk about why chasing those external metrics leaves so many of us anxious, insecure, and disconnected from what actually matters, and why opting out of that rigged game can be the first real step toward peace and meaning in your life.

I share how redefining value on your own terms through genuine connection, and a life that feels aligned with who you are can quietly turn you into a different kind of winner, even if you never get rich, shredded, or famous. The core idea is that when you stop measuring yourself by everyone else’s scoreboard and start following what makes you feel alive and authentic, your confidence grows, your relationships improve, and life starts to feel like art instead of a never-ending competition.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Our dogs can teach us a lot about how to live a fulfilling and meaningful life. In this episode, I talk about how my ten year old Australian Shepherd has taught me how to be mindful, how to love, how to live in the moment, how to be satisfied with the things I have, and more.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Eating “whatever” is quietly wrecking your mood, energy, sleep, and focus, and a lot of what we call mental health issues are made worse by the way we eat. In this episode, I walk through how ultra-processed foods drive inflammation and depression risk, and why getting more real protein, healthy fats, fiber, and key micronutrients can make you feel like a different person over time.

I break down the basics in plain language: how much protein you probably need, why omega-3s and better fats matter, why fiber is insanely underrated, and which vitamins and minerals most people are missing without realizing it. From there, I keep it practical with small, sustainable changes like fixing just one meal a day, upgrading your cooking oils, adding one high-fiber food each meal, and using simple habit tracking to actually stick with it so healthy eating stops feeling confusing and starts feeling obvious.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Our phones are quietly running our lives, speeding up our days, and pulling us out of the real world without us even noticing. In this episode, I tell the story of breaking my phone, spending a few hours in a mall without it, and realizing how strange it now feels to simply exist in public without a screen to hide behind.

I dig into how constant connectivity, news, and social media overload us with information, make time blur together, and drain our mental health, then argue for “picking your battles” online and focusing your energy on the causes and communities you can actually impact. I also share practical ways to reclaim your attention: leaving your phone at home for small errands, embracing boredom again, using fewer apps more intentionally, and remembering that real conversations, local action, and noticing your actual surroundings will do more for your life than any infinite scroll ever will.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Life starts feeling dull when every moment is scheduled, optimized, and tied to productivity, and you forget what it’s like to just do things for no reason other than curiosity. In this episode, I talk about the “art of winging it” as an antidote to that overplanned, joyless way of living, and how loosening your grip on outcomes can actually make your life feel more alive.

I share how growing up turned me into someone who plans everything to death, and why saying yes to small, unplanned moments—random day trips, new restaurants alone, talking to strangers, wandering into weird events like a drum circle—recreates the magic and freedom we felt as kids. The goal isn’t to abandon responsibility, but to reclaim some spontaneity in the margins of your life so you can explore, meet new people, and build memories that don’t revolve around work, self-improvement, or hustle.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Modern dating feels broken for a lot of people, but this episode is about stepping out of that mess and rebuilding your dating life in the real world instead of on apps. I talk about how dating apps commodify loneliness, create unrealistic expectations, and train you to treat people as endless, disposable options, which quietly kills both your confidence and your ability to connect.​

From there, I walk through a different approach: deleting the apps, putting yourself in actual social environments (coffee shops, dog parks, hobbies, clubs), starting normal conversations without cheesy lines, and focusing on being yourself rather than performing. The goal is not to become a smooth player overnight, but to stack real-life reps, get comfortable with rejection, and give yourself a much better shot at meeting someone who genuinely likes you for who you are.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Life can start to feel flat and joyless when every day blends together into work, scrolling, and numbing out, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. In this episode, I break down a practical reset for actually enjoying life again, starting with getting away from constant noise and overstimulation so your brain has room to think and feel present.​ I talk about carving out true silence, cutting back on endless content consumption, and replacing some of that time with creating things you care about, whether that’s cooking, building, making art, or contributing to shared projects like my Third Place MC community.

From there, I dive into why cleaning up your diet, moving your body more, and slowly building real community can dramatically improve your mood, energy, and sense of meaning, one small, sustainable step at a time.

---

Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Big corporations, consumerism, and violations of modern privacy are some of the biggest issues facing free agency in the west. These companies control everything, from the food we eat to the content we consume.

In today's episode, I talk about how to regain your life from large corporations, how to avoid being spied on, how to cut back on consumption to feel more fulfilled, and I touch on Byung Chul Han's burnout society to tie it all together.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd⁠

When you’re constantly chasing women, it’s easy to feel stuck, anxious, and like something is wrong with you. In this episode, I talk about why trying to “attract women” as a goal is broken, and how things start to shift when you focus on building a life you genuinely enjoy instead of playing a role to impress someone.

I share how letting go of shallow checklists and outcome-obsessed thinking helped me show up as my real self, including the traits I used to hide, and how that eventually led me to the woman I believe I’ll marry. The core idea is that when you treat every date, rejection, and awkward moment as feedback for becoming a more grounded, emotionally intelligent, and self-respecting version of yourself, the right people naturally find their way into your life.

---

Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

Alcohol is completely destroying your mind and body. In this episode, I talk about why I stopped drinking, how alcohol affects the body, and why drinking alcohol is the same as drinking poison.

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Check out my habit tracking app:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd⁠