Finding Your Right Mind — with Vanessa Potter

I will be kicking off Series 2 very soon and do I have a treat in store for you ! '440 years of female wisdom' is a series of 8 interviews (plus some cool bonus episodes!) that chart the lives of 8 women who have all had a decade birthday this year. The 440 is their combined ages.

The idea came about because I am turning 50 in a few months and I found myself reflecting my life. We do that on 'big birthdays' don't we? We audit our lives. We think critically about what we’ve achieved, our families relationships, careers…and I was curious as to why a decade birthday seemed to be so different from other birthdays. How would a woman turning 80 view her life ? So I decided to find out ! The idea mushroomed and before I knew it I had found incredible women from all walks of life aged from 20 to 90 willing to speak to me. 

Then there was the  problem of what questions do I ask? I decided to consult other women to gather what questions they’d like to ask - what wisdom were they seeking? What they told me was unexpected and fascinating and created the scaffolding for these interviews. 

Delving into other women’s lives has brought up some incredibly honest, forthright , sometimes emotional and inspiring stories. Some of these women are the last generation to remember war time, ration books and a very different world. The interviews are gripping - because these women are us - they’re you and me.  They mirror our lives in a way we don’t often allow — we don’t ask ourselves these probing questions and we rarely provide the space and time for what these important reflections — for the wisdom to shine through. 

In episode one you’ll meet Misgana Araya a 20 year old Eritrean graduate who turned 20 in the midst of the pandemic. Subscribe NOW so you don’t miss out on what she had to tell me! 

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Self care: The final episode of series 1!
Are you breathing enough, too much or even not at all? The pandemic has left many of us more than a little breathless, so in this episode I talk to Transformational Breath teacher, Elif Clarke about the incredible, yet curiously understated world of breath work and how we can alter not only our health and mindset by breathing correctly, but how we can also experience deeply healing, altered states of consciousness.

Learn about how a quick and simple exercise can reveal if you are breathing optimally, and if not, what to do about it. We talk polyvagal theory, carbon monoxide (and why we need it) and how you are your own medicine.

LINKS:
https://www.elifclarke.com
Polyvagal theory simplified: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec3AUMDjtKQ
My NEW book ! (support local bookshops :)) https://booksellercrow.co.uk/shop/finding-my-right-mind/
https://www.mrjamesnestor.com/breath

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Self-care episode 6: Have we become disconnected?  Has the pandemic splintered relationships, impacted loneliness and if so, how can we find love and forge deep relationships   when the rules around human contact have changed so much?
Rachel New, a dating and relationships coach and I discuss how dating is much more than swiping left (or right) on your phone. She explains why it can be an effective way to bridge social divides, as well as helping you find the love of your life. We look at how any relationship (new or old) needs emotional investment — and some helpful ways to do that.
We talk about how to spot what works in a relationship — and what doesn't and how our own values are so vital in finding the right partner. Rachel shares a host of tips on how to celebrate ourselves, reflect on past relationships and forge new ones. From mind-mapping to journalling we discuss all things selfcare and how we can stay connected.

LINKS:

www.rachelnewdatingcoach.co.uk
https://rachelnewdatingcoach.co.uk/2020/09/14/can-you-help-who-youre-attracted-to/

https://medium.com/@rachelnew/dating-apps-could-do-more-to-combat-racism-c9d6ed66326e

https://rachelnewdatingcoach.co.uk/2020/10/07/can-dating-change-the-world/

https://rachelnewdatingcoach.co.uk/2020/10/28/why-you-should-talk-to-your-white-partner-about-race/

John Gottman: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work 

Explaining Humans by Dr Camilla Pang

The Course of Love by Alain de Botton

How to choose a partner by Susan Quilliam

https://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/How-to-Choose-a-Partner-by-Susan-Quilliam-School-of-Life-Business-enterprise-associated-with-work/9781447293293

Selfcare refresher tips:

• Accept your own limitations.
• Celebrate yourself.
• Don't compare yourself to others.
• Try to see other peoples' perspectives.

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More self-care this week with an information-packed chat with Kirsten McEwan, a senior researcher at Derby University. Did you know you have an ‘old’ brain and a ‘new’, updated nozzle? We also have three innate systems that make us utterly brilliant problem solvers — but also make us feel utterly rubbish, stressed out and unhappy. Kirsten simplifies and demystifies these complex systems so we can understand why we sometimes behave in the ways we do — and how that’s not our fault. This ‘neuro-knowledge’ is really important if you’re considering taking up a compassion practice as it helps us understand why we need a healthy dose of compassion in our lives. 

Kirsten and I talk Zebras, perfectionism, inner critics and what “being a friend to ourselves” really means — and how to do it. If you’d like to understand your mind and why you sometimes beat yourself up, why you feel panic-stricken or anxious, this insightful interview will reveal the inner mechanics of your mind and how you can work with our innate humanness, rather than spend our day fighting it. An episode for women — and men.

Links:
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Kirsten-Mcewan-2
Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by R. Sapolski - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Zebras-Dont-Ulcers-Revised/dp/0805073698
Kirsten Neff - https://self-compassion.org

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Show Notes:

This week’s self care episode centres around kindness. I talk to Julieta Galante, a healthcare researcher about how kindness towards oneself and others is the foundation of a meditation practice called loving kindness (LKM). 

You may have heard of it. You may even do it. Or you may have heard of it and thought that’s all a bit fluffy and well, pointless. Loving others (even our enemies) unconditionally is a sign of weakness and will make you a pushover in life. 

But even recording this episode taught me something very important. As a relative newcomer to podcasting I swapped recording platform recently and made a rookie mistake. My immediate default was to criticise myself, to be really cross that things didn’t go to plan. Ironically, it was only as I was listening to what Julieta has to say that I realised I had to apply kindness — to myself. 

Once I had stopped laughing at the irony, I saw how it illustrates just how easy it is so talk about this stuff, to offer solutions about self care (which lets face it, is being kind to ourselves) and yet there I was being more hard on myself than I would be on any other ‘newbie’ podcaster. My own perfectionista was out of control. 

A loving kindness practice is a really, really good way to stop beating yourself up. This episode goes way beyond the theory and breaks down this practice into its component parts and explains all of the barriers many of us come up against. It’s easy to find instructions for this practice, but not the ‘inside story’ of what happens when you try and it how to deal with some of the resistance we can feel. 

Kindness is what we need NOW. Studies suggest that kindness and compassion are innate - even if that might not feel like its the case - we were born with this skill and we can train ourselves to get better at it.  Research on toddlers suggests they will instinctively offer up a toy before the social conditioning of what ‘kindness’ is has been taught. Toddlers also seem to be happier if they help another and don’t expect rewards. This seems a little sad that society might ‘unteach’ this innate kindness. But rest assured that kindness is there within all of us — if we want to find it. If you think generating kindness is a luxury or a waste of your time. This interview might change your mind.

Links:

Here are two loving kindness guided meditations: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/loving_kindness_meditation

https://insig.ht/nyjbFmqLPeb

Toddler research, but there is loads more ! https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/being_kind_makes_kids_happy

Julieta’s research on LKM:

Trial publication https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12074 (full text freely available here, not the friendliest format: https://www.repository.cam.ac.uk/handle/1810/270517)

Review on kindness-based meditation: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-26574-001 (full text freely available here  http://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/4739/74de2ee3da90084decb37e80e87e0f2efbdd.pdf )

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Episode 3  in my self care series has me talking to Prakashjot Kaur about Kundalini Yoga. This is a modality that took me by surprise when I tried it, in particular I loved the all encompassing approach to health and wellbeing. This is a practice that allows the mind and body to talk to each other using kriyas (asanas or postures) mudras (hand poses) pranayama (breathing techniques) and mudras (hand poses) along with meditations.
This really is a joined-up system for life. Tune in and find out how KY can help balance the nervous system and awaken your senses.

NOTES:
https://www.prakashjot.com
https://www.3ho.org/kundalini-yoga/pranayam/pranayam-techniques/breath-fire
https://www.3ho.org/kundalini-yoga/ten-bodies
https://www.3ho.org/alternate-nostril-breathing

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Continuing my self care series I talk to Louise Enticknap about touch, prescriptive hugs and why you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about taking your clothes off! 

Louise is an advanced clinical massage therapist who treats the body as a holistic whole. We discuss how trauma, PTSD and unprocessed emotions can be stored within the body and how massage can offer release. We talk about how our views towards intimacy and physical contact have changed as a result of the pandemic and Louise offers a calming mind-body technique you can use at home. 

Further links: 

Therapeuticmassage4you.co.uk

The Body keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Touch research by Dr Tiffany Field and her colleagues.

About Us | Touch Research Institute at Miller School of Medicine (miami.edu)

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/hands_on_research

https://www.nordiccuddle.com

http://www.mzellner.com/page4/files/2005-light.pdf

https://drchatterjee.com/touch-forgotten-sense-professor-francis-mcglone/

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Welcome to series 1: “Self care” was one of the most searched phrases on Google last year, along with “how to make a face mask” and “when are schools reopening?”

I start the series with this fact-packed, myth-busting episode on nutrition, featuring our mysterious, yet vitally important microbiome, our hormones, our vagus nerve and the weird but inspiring science of FMT (Fecal Microbiota Transplantation) 

Karen Jones (www.karenjonesnutrition.com) and I delve into the links between our gut health and our brains and how our mood can be impacted by the foods we eat. If you meditate to lower stress — or as a respite for illness or as a means to balance your nervous system and improve immunity, consider how improving your nutritional health might compliment that. 

This is a must-listen for anyone interested in the mind-body connection. It’s too easy to compartmentalise ourselves and forget how much the mind and the gut are connected. Karen takes a holistic approach to the microbiome as we discuss how everything we do — from sleeping, exercising, being outdoors and eating is interwoven. Listen out for Karen’s 5 life hacks that you can do today to improve your gut (and brain!) health.

LINKS:

FMT (Fecal Microbiota Transplantation) - what is it? https://www.openbiome.org/about-fmt
Taymount Clinic - https://taymount.com
Study - Ridaura et al 2013 Gut microbiota from twins discordant for obesity modulate metabolism in mice. Science. Sep 6;341(6150):1241214 - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24009397/
How the gut bacteria are the boss of your hormones - https://hormonesbalance.com/articles/how-the-gut-bacteria-impact-your-hormones/
Tim Spector - https://www.kcl.ac.uk/people/professor-tim-spector
Crapsules - https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellness/creating-crapsules-is-faeces-in-a-pill-the-cure-for-our-ills-20180319-p4z53z.html
Vagus Nerve and Microbiome - Christine Fülling et al 2019 “Gut Microbe to Brain Signaling: What Happens in Vagus…,”  Neuron,  Volume 101, Issue 6,  2019,  Pages 998-1002,  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30897366/

GUEST:

Karen Jones is a Registered Nutritional Therapist practising in London and specialising in gut health. After completing her diploma at CNM in 2018, she studied the research on the microbiome in a study group under the guidance of Adam Greer (senior lecturer at CNM) for nine months. Karen has also completed a degree in Ayurvedic studies, which included working in a clinic in India. Karen also provides practitioner support for Microbiome Labs UK and is helping to compile a database of evidence for natural therapies with the British Society of Ecological Medicine (BSEM). 

Karen Jones BSc, BA, DipCNM, CNHC, mBANT.

@karenjonesnutrition

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It's not really surprising that the phrase "self care" was a Google trend in 2020. So, I have decided to  tackle  "self care" in all of its many guises and look at how we can view our wellbeing holistically — in other words, how we can view it in a joined-up, intimately connected way.  We don't just own a body OR a brain, so why compartmentalise ourselves? Episodes coming up every fortnight on nutrition, exercise, sleep, movement, touch/massage, yoga, compassion and more ! 

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Christmas is nearly here! The tree is up, presents are hidden,  ready to wrap and the kids are counting the hours until school is out. Yet, underneath the excitement I'm feeling a simmering fear of what endless free time and a lack of socialising is going to do to my children's tech habits. This year I have taken Christmas by its ' jingly antlers' and put some Tech Survival Tactics in place with the help of Dr Fintan Nagle, a cognitive scientist who studies adult and teen use of social media.
Lockdown wasn't great for us — my children were sucked into watching hours of YouTube, Netflix and endless TikTok scrolling. Reading went out of the window and tempers flared when I tried to prise them off iPads and phones. My family is not unique. Lots of parents suffered the same, resorting to pleading, fighting or imposing tech bans to get their kids to 'look up'. But, what effects has lockdown really had upon tech use? What does hours of mindless scrolling do to a teen's brain? Why is our attention hijacked SO easily and why do we feel powerless to resist? We'll answer these questions and many more in this must-listen episode!
Head to www.vanessapotter.com to get a FREE Tech Survival Guide. We can't stop you gorging on Quality Street this Christmas, but we might be able to help when it comes to social media. 

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