Finding Yourself in Motherhood

Today I talked about ways we can focus on gratitude as we are getting close to Thanksgiving. I talked about the benefits of gratitude and how to can work to have more of it in our lives. I gave 7 suggestions of goals you can make over the next three weeks to focus more on gratitude. 

Today I discussed a more advanced tool that can be useful. It is important to first really understand the model before trying this new tool. 
To illustrate, I give three examples of thoughts that can be really challenging. The examples I give are 
1. A cancer diagnosis sucks
2. Raising a medically complex child is challenging
3. Serving a mission is hard

I talk about each of these and point out that they are thoughts but sometimes in order to gain any awareness or leverage over them, we need to just treat them as a fact. If it's a fact, then we can come up with a new thought that can create a completely different result for us. While this is a more advanced tool, it can be really useful in certain areas of our life. As you listen I hope you are able to learn and find ways to apply these things in your own life.

 We're wired to label everything that happens to us — good, bad, disaster, blessing — often within seconds. But what if that instinct is exactly what keeps us anxious, reactive, and stuck? 

In this episode, I share two small stories from my own week. In the first, I left my bag in my husband's car — the one I needed for my pickleball class — and had to swing by his work to grab it, making me 15 minutes late. In the second, I shipped a birthday package to my niece serving on the other side of our own city, and somehow the tracking shows it in Saint Louis, Missouri — nowhere close to where it's supposed to be, and nowhere close to arriving by her birthday like I'd planned. 

In the moment, both felt like minor disasters. But they got me thinking about a Taoist parable I love: a farmer whose horse runs away, and who responds to every twist of fortune that follows — good news and bad — with the same two words: "maybe." I also share the story of Joseph, sold into slavery by his own brothers, who years later becomes the very man who saves them from famine, and tells them: "you meant it for evil, but it was meant for good." 

Both stories point to the same truth: we rarely have enough information in the moment to know how something will actually turn out. When we can keep the thought that "everything is working out for our good" — about a late morning, a lost package, or even something bigger, like a child making choices we don't agree with — we get to respond from a calmer, more grounded place instead of from fear. 

If you've ever been quick to call something a disaster, this episode is an invitation to consider how everything really is working out for your good.

Today I discussed all the emotions I had surrounding sending my sons on missions. I talk about how we often resist the emotions that don't feel great and we don't allow them to teach us and help us grow. We also use our cell phones to avoid an awkward situations that might cause us to feel an uncomfortable emotion. When we learn to embrace all emotions we have a more complete and incredible human experience.

Today I discussed several of the common thoughts we have around money. I talk about how these thoughts can keep us stuck and make it hard to have a good relationship with money. Two examples are "rich people are greedy" and "there is never enough." I gave examples of Dolly Parton and Kurt Warner to debunk the first thought and then show examples of how there is plenty of money to go around as we serve others and put value into the world. I end with some thoughts that I find empowering for me when it comes to my own relationship with money.

Today I talk about expectations vs reality. I give two examples of going through something hard with two of my boys. I show how to close the gap between your expectations and reality in order to clean up the dirty pain that is unnecessary. It is also important to allow ourselves to feel the clean pain that comes along with hard times. I end talking about mourning with those who mourn and how we can truly do that.

Today I discuss how hard things happen in life. We often go through great lengths to try to prevent hard things from happening. I tell a story about a surrogate Mom refusing to have an abortion once she found out the baby she was carrying had a serious heart condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. I also talked about how my son was born with this same condition so I understand the complexities of having a baby like that. I talked about how no matter how much we try to prevent hard things from happening, they will come anyway. Knowing they will be a part of life, we can learn to navigate hard things. I discuss two things that have helped me navigate hard things in my own life. 

I'm back after a long summer break! Today I talked about how we often look to the past and judge how we showed up in life. I talked about how I felt like we had wasted a lot of time in July and how that thought just wasn't serving me. Once I changed my thought I was able to be more creative and come up with some ideas on ways we could serve others. I was able to end our summer vacation with a fun service project with my kids that we all enjoyed. 

What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life you want isn't your talent, your circumstances, or your past — but the way you think about your own abilities?

In this episode, we dive into some of the most powerful ideas from Carol Dweck's groundbreaking book Mindset, and explore how a simple shift in perspective can change the way you work, learn, fail, and love.

We cover:

• The difference between a fixed and a growth mindset — and why it matters more than you think
• Why effort is not a sign of weakness, but the very thing that activates your potential
• How to reframe failure so it works for you instead of against you
• The surprising reason telling someone they're smart can actually hold them back
• How your mindset quietly shapes your closest relationships

Whether you're a parent, a professional, an athlete, or just someone who wants to keep growing — this episode will give you a new way of seeing yourself and the challenges in front of you.

Today's episode focused on some of my thoughts surrounding Mother's Day. I first discuss how Mother's Day can be tricky especially for people who don't feel like they have a good relationship with their own Mom. I give some ideas on some small ways to improve that relationship. Then, I talk about how this day is tricky for some Mom's because they don't believe they are good Moms. This day brings out all of their insecurities and struggles. I discuss how we decide if we are a good Mom and things we can do to be more intentional with our thoughts about being the Mom we want to be. I end with a story about my own daughter from Mother's day and how she made Mother's Day a good day for her and she felt so special that day.