Chris Michaels wastes zero time tearing into Pride Month with his signature no-BS sarcasm. Same-sex celebrations, gender fluidity, Brooklyn’s mermaid parade, and the annual Long Island “Invasion” on Fire Island: ferries overloaded with the full rainbow spectrum turning the sandbar into a weekend freak parade. Chris shares a hilarious personal story from his “gilded youth”: off-season stay on Fire Island, walking the empty boardwalks, and run-in with a leather-vest-wearing “bear." “Not one of my more confident moments.” Then the real esoteric red pill: As a Reiki master, Chris breaks down the ever-expanding Pride flag (now 12–20+ variations). It’s a six-stripe rainbow… but inverted, missing key colors, and starting with red at the top instead of following the natural chakra order (root red → crown violet/white). He maps every stripe against the human energy system and asks: is this subconscious energetic manipulation designed to throw off your root-to-crown alignment?