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A little this a little that, but most importantly, I can hear my voice making writing much easier. There doesn't seem to be a beginning, middle, end so that's something to work on and that's BIG PICTURE THINKING which was not what I was experiencing with parents my first year nor teachers my 2nd & I think there's so much due to the time I spent in education (12y), the number of people you meet from outside providers & the fact everyone seems to be connected to CPS or the Union so won't exactly like letting them know working for company who choose to violate these kids for 3 years since it kind of just worked out since they didn't want to compromise their rating system---to those who get this, like parents who want free highschool---this does seem obvious, right? 

I'm just going to keep going. I know this ends with realization that IF YOU DECIDE TO CHEAT kids considered the most AT-RISK & VULNERABLE POPULATIONS, we are really taking away any chance we have to protect ourselves from our most precious asset if we want to truly prevent unstable mental health because we can get them when they're young!

Once older, they do what I'm writing about. Let's just say they're bigger. They have years or decades of emotion just bubblin' up. The origin of do what they did (gossip), but I'm going to do it better (use my voice for good) and writing now (saying YES to ideas & YES to hard stuff & YES to whatever happens is part of that) made me realize I'm also doing what they did. Just didn't s t f u. So keep talking because in CBT, DBT they promote it & so did this guy. DM & I say his name on here,

He's DAVID'S TEA. How I dampened through #commerce since dropping the seed for "any disagreement in my family is a confrontation," so what is that? Don't disagree with them? & why occasionally I would disagree & nothing explosive would happen so why make something like that up. Or is it, "hey this is how I think" & because the words were, "don't talk about my family unless..." when you're not fearful of what you say you'll do since it's not my choice because once NOT AN AUTHORITY OVER SOMEONE you have LOST CONTROL. I'm talking about Neptune's previous family since I decided he will not lose his name being an abused cat. He got to be a cat before he died & he'll say his story at sharingITaII. 

*reading has been an issue for many things but also since the school PROMOTES how they use the WILSON METHOD. I brought that to the school & will explain how & why.

*weight of things is hard to hold and turning the page of a magazine was difficult so the first "I'm not afraid of this" is to do the task no matter what so had to adapt. All the adaptions I made will be listed for these two tasks. As I list them (this being the goal--make a list), I'll be reminded/retriggered (the adrenaline screams PAY ATTENTION HERE) and add to that as well. In addition there was one modification. The #peeramid. 

*recording (non-consent) : how many times trying to record & shaking? too innumerable to count. How many times do I recall it like time standing still because I'm in slow motion trying to do it & see it. I can't move my fingers, shaking and eyes getting out of focus as distress increases from 0-60. The body is like "whoa."

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