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The people who you are exposed to is not exactly FATE, but they aren't meant to be in your life at the time they are presented to you for a reason. DONE.

The adrenaline of others I absorbed. Now, I don't have to absorb that adrenaline. The mental health issues of others is no longer my 100% concern over myself which is why SUICIDE is a very complex mental health issue, right? At the same time, what it ends instantly with one thought. One idea. Is it that complex then?

Let's teach everyone what I Was taught---even though the very people who taught me don't get it, they're supportive. "Keep going." "If you kill yourself, they'll win." "I know you can do it." "Do it.!" That audio sensory ptsd (please, thank you/no thanks/... the rest will be on the TEST.

GOOD LUCK FINDING IT. You help your classmates. I'm a teacher. You're responsible for your education about WHO NOT TO BE AROUND TO BE INFLUENCED BY THEM.

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Helping a dog socialize, transition & just be a dog. 

Kind of sounds like Neptune, right?

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Dealing with people: identifying characteristics of friendship & maintaining friendships & ending "friendships." Did not say: Self-regulation/self-control & oh my god, EMOTIONS.

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Just tell. 

The behaviors I rejected early on in life were jealousy, rage, need for validation, insecurity & eating (1)/drinking (2) issues because of exposure by one/two people. I really thought I was meant to HELP THIS PERSON because of that earlier exposure? I suppose I did (that final email confirmed it), but also revealed what THEY do: change the narrative; misuse of trauma/exaggeration for manipulation; lie; contradict each other.

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Why, helping others [with no strings attached] is the answer.

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The fear is gone & you can "sit with" or "be near" their deceit, manipulation, gaslighting, narcissism & pathological lying, etc. It's dark stuff, but I will be sharing their perspective so there's LESS QUESTIONING. LESS SHOCK. LESS TRAUMA.

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I have spoken to many people about how numbers is tricky & that it's not just math. It's days-of-the-week, months-of-the-year, directions/distance, time & ready to share how participation in Tai Chi has helped to understand just exactly how I was supporting a "community," to regain trust & how that community showed me how it's just another word without meaning. That is what trauma is.

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I have so many things in THE WORLD that has helped me. I'm ready to just tell. Finally.

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This is P3/1.

Just going to count 1-100 and then it's over. That was thinking from the past. I know I can end it as long as I keep editing these ideas until it's 100% understood by anyone who wants to know how to ensure smarter than trauma/suicide. Meaning, you're going TO LIVE. 

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