Fishers of Men

We all have to deal with rejection, and we can probably all agree that it sucks. Mary Ashley and Lara talk with therapist and friend of the show Daniel Johnson about how to mitigate those awful feelings when we get rejected.

Lara and Mary Ashley talk to Lara's mother-in-law and closest therapist family relation, Deana Samms, about Attachment Theory, how we develop attachment styles early in life, and what we can do to heal if we find ourselves with a less-than-ideal attachment.

Mary Ashley talks with Amanda Vernon, co-author of the book When God Wrecks Your Romance, about what it was like to be THAT girl when her teenage crush became a priest, as well as chastity, flirting, the nature of infatuation, and God (obviously).

You can find out more about Amanda and find the book here: https://www.amandavernon.com/

Come see Amanda and Fr. Matt in person on August 17th!

Register for tickets and get details here! https://www.facebook.com/events/1232822490230890/

Anna Hitchings unexpectedly went Catholic viral with a piece about the simple fact that, well, there just don’t seem to be that many men for single Catholic women to marry. Mary Ashley chats with her about her thoughts on why this is and what can help.

Please check out her blog at https://agonyandhope.com/.

The Four Man Plan is a methodical way to date. Author Cindy Lu talks about the plan, her book, and even dishes out some dating advice from her years as a dating coach to women and men. You can find her at thefourmanplan.com.

About the Book:

THE FOUR MAN PLAN is a bullet-proof system for attracting and finding love. It combines the certainties of math and human behavior into a functioning system for finding Mr. Right. The Four Man Plan uses the woman’s linear and creative mind to support and guide her emotional and reactive heart. More importantly it helps transform dating into a process of self-awareness and discovery. Learn the Wait for Sex Index, The Yes Factor and the Chick’s Chick Angle. Don’t worry, it’s FUN! Math nerdiness is not required.

Lara and Mary Ashley lead a round-table discussion on the recent documentary "I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye," about Joshua Harris' attempts to learn about the damage that resulted from his famous book and make amends for it.

You can view the film here:

https://www.isurvivedikdg.com/

After a lengthy hiatus, we are back! Mary Ashley talks with Liz Galvao of the Bachelor discussion podcast My Wife Is In This Room on the lessons we all might be able to take from everyone's favorite reality show to hate-watch.

Therapist and author Katie Jo Ramsey talks through the Enneagram, the importance of knowing yourself in order to heal and grow, and how knowing your Enneagram type can help you be better in your relationships.

You can check out the articles we mention in the podcast here: https://relevantmagazine.com/god/enneagram-makes-sanctification-specific/ and https://relevantmagazine.com/god/3-ways-of-finding-your-enneagram-type-that-are-better-than-taking-some-online-quiz/

You can also find Katie Jo at katiejoramsey.com as well as on Instagram and Twitter at katiejoramsey.

We talk again with Daniel Johnson, MFT, about how to communicate respectfully and effectively in relationships, including arguing!

You can catch Daniel's podcast The Color of Thought and contact him here:

https://danielmft.com/author/magisterdgj/

We talk with Paul Fahey, contributor at Where Peter Is (https://wherepeteris.com/) about the ins and outs of Natural Family Planning: what's great, what's tough, and where can the Church grow?

UPDATE: Paul has two addenda and some advice for couples below.

1. I briefly spoke about Providentialism, that is, a couple not using NFP or any kind of family planning and leaving everything up to God’s providence. In the podcast I made it sound like that was against Church teaching. I misspoke there. Providentialism is not obligatory, expected, or even encouraged by the Church, but it is allowed.

2. I was asked about how couples who struggling with prolonged abstinence due to the ineffectiveness of NFP can best make it through that difficult situation. I gave a couple of points in the podcast, but since this was recorded I have come up with more. Here is my current list of suggestions based on my personal experience of struggling with prolonged abstinence and it triggering a real crisis of faith:

Talk with people you trust about this struggle, don't go at it alone. If you can talk with flesh and blood people about this you will be better off.

Talk with a priest (or spiritual director if you're lucky enough to have one) about this, putting all your struggles and doubts on the table.

If there's peripheral things that are making this burden worse (stress from kids or work or whatever) then see if you can lessen those burdens (asking people to help watch kids for example).

Try and spend more quality time with each other (going on dates or whatever), but if that makes things worse then don't be afraid to try doing things separately instead (take turns staying home with the kids so you can spend time with friends or hobbies individually).

If you think there's any postpartum depression or anxiety (for you or yourself) then go to a doctor or counselor. These things make long term abstinence way more difficult than it already is.

Pray for healing for your cycles and any other factors that may be contributing. Take advantage of any healing prayer ministry in your area.

And cling to each other. In times of doubt and spiritual desolation you can be Christ for your spouse. When you have nothing but anger towards God then lean into your spouse and the real tangible love you have for them. In other words, when your spouse isn't feeling God's loving presence then make an effort to be more lovingly present to them. If you find yourself unable to love God in the moment at least you can love your spouse.