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What does it really mean when recovery programs describe addiction as a "spiritual malady"? In this deeply personal episode, I share my journey from nihilistic atheism to spiritual awakening—a transformation that ultimately saved my life.

As a teenager, I rejected religion as fairy tales and embraced the belief that humans were merely a "happy accident of chaos." This worldview conveniently supported my addiction, allowing me to justify selfish behaviors and remain oblivious to how I hurt those around me. I believed love was my right, not something I needed to earn through honesty and respect.

The turning point came after everyone had walked away. Sitting alone in a hotel room, using intravenously and headed toward death, I finally felt the full weight of my isolation. It was only through what I now recognize as spiritual interventions—inexplicable moments where I made choices completely contrary to my conscious intentions—that I began moving toward recovery.

Buddhism offered me a spiritual framework that made sense when Christianity couldn't. I connected with concepts of energy, karma, and the understanding that true happiness comes through selflessness rather than chasing desires. Today, my spirituality manifests as an internal compass that creates physical discomfort when I'm about to make a selfish choice.

The most remarkable evidence of my transformation is that I've completely lost the desire to use drugs. My recovery isn't maintained through constant struggle against cravings but through becoming someone different—someone who values authentic connection above temporary escape. I now find profound joy in acts of kindness toward others rather than in substances.

If you're struggling with addiction or supporting someone who is, I hope my story offers a different perspective on recovery. The journey isn't just about stopping a behavior—it's about spiritual awakening that changes who you are at your core. Subscribe to hear more stories and insights from my ongoing recovery journey.

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Every morning, I wake up and have to pinch myself. Is this beautiful home by the beach, these loving relationships, this second chance at motherhood—is it all real? The contrast to where I was just a few years ago seems impossible.

My journey from kidney specialist to homeless addict selling my body for drugs nearly killed me—literally. With staph sepsis ravaging my body and my family waiting for the call that I had died, I hit a devastating bottom few survive. But that devastation created the foundation for the beautiful, serene life I live today. 

Recovery wasn't what I expected. While many describe constant battles with urges and cravings, my experience was different. One day, I simply looked at methamphetamine and realized it brought me nothing but misery and loss. The euphoria was gone. What remained was a clarity that changed everything: I was done. Not through heroic willpower, but through a fundamental shift in perception that made drugs irrelevant to who I was becoming.

This podcast explores addiction as a spiritual malady that requires spiritual solutions. I'll share how rebuilding my life from absolute zero taught me to live authentically, without pretense. How reconnecting with my physical health through fitness revealed the body's remarkable resilience. How growing my own food and rejecting processed alternatives became part of my healing. And most importantly, how forming honest connections with others created the rich tapestry of relationships I cherish today.

Whether you're struggling with addiction, loving someone who is, or simply interested in transformation, Recovery Cast offers wisdom from the trenches. My story proves that rock bottom can become the solid foundation for building something beautiful. Subscribe now to join me on this journey of authentic recovery, where hope isn't just a concept—it's the lived reality I never thought possible.

Support the show

Thanks for listening! Follow the links below for more!

https://www.instagram.com/fitscapades

https://patreon.com/fitscapades

https://youtube.com/@fitscapades?si=hzhOJ8vjmjz5dAJy

TikTok @fitscapades1

twitter/ X fitscapades