Five Aside

The Five Aside crew is back with another round of predictions, and nobody is feeling safe. Arsenal vs Chelsea takes center stage as the boys debate whether Chelsea can turn the Emirates into a shootout—or whether Arsenal shut up shop after scoring first. Then it’s Everton vs Man United, Liverpool’s trip to Ipswich, City vs Coventry, Forest vs Spurs, plus Barcelona and Real Madrid predictions in La Liga. Bold scores, instant prediction changes, Spurs panic and plenty of ball knowledge.

Timestamps

00:00 — Arsenal vs Chelsea takes center stage

01:15 — Jesus doubts & Chelsea’s approach

02:25 — Can Chelsea force Arsenal into a shootout?

03:45 — Arsenal vs Chelsea score predictions

05:20 — Everton vs Man United predictions

06:35 — Ipswich vs Liverpool predictions

07:30 — Man City vs Coventry: how many?

08:20 — Forest vs Spurs & De Zerbi pressure

10:15 — Can Spurs finally bounce back?

11:05 — Valencia vs Barcelona predictions

11:40 — Real Betis vs Real Madrid predictions

12:35 — Game to watch & Super Sunday plans

13:00 — Arsenal nerves and final thoughts

The transfer window is CLOSED — which means it’s time to hand out receipts. 😂

The Five Aside crew debates the biggest winners and losers of the window, from Chelsea somehow turning long contracts into a transfer-market cheat code to Manchester City assembling a midfield that belongs in a Bugatti showroom. Manchester United’s business gets put on trial, Tottenham may have bought an entirely new postcode, and Liverpool’s new-look attack still has plenty to prove.

Then the debate heads to Spain: did Real Madrid actually have the best window? Has Barcelona finally found its missing piece? Can Atlético fans forgive Alvarez after the transfer drama? And, naturally, the crew finishes by arguing over the Premier League top five before giving Messi his flowers.

Timestamps

0:00 – Intro banter (pre-show football chat)

1:22 – Show intro / welcome

2:50 – Transfer window winners & losers

48:01 – Revisiting preseason predictions / new top five

59:30 – Messi tribute segment

65:32 – Outro / sign-off

AK & Dalu are back with the Five Aside EPL Takes, and Gameweek 2 brought goals, chaos and plenty of ammunition for the agenda.

They break down Man City’s latest statement performance and the excitement around Cherki, Liverpool dropping points again against Nottingham Forest, and Tottenham’s rough start continuing despite spending big. Chelsea and Brighton serve up a seven-goal thriller, Cole Palmer reminds everyone what a fully fit version of him can do, and Bruno Fernandes leads Manchester United’s five-goal demolition job.

Plus: FPL pain, tactical debates, transfer talk, Spurs slander, and AK & Dalu hand out their Player, Underrated Player and Team of the Week.

Timestamps

00:00 — Intro: “All I do is win!” & Gameweek 2 chaos

02:43 — Man City & the Cherki hype train

05:03 — City’s spending & transfer talk

06:18 — Why Cherki is bringing the fun back

07:42 — Liverpool held 2–2 by Nottingham Forest

09:06 — Should Liverpool fans be worried?

11:02 — Liverpool’s intensity, Gakpo & squad questions

13:52 — Tottenham: money can’t buy happiness 😭

14:30 — Newcastle expose Spurs

16:24 — Newcastle’s grit gets its flowers

17:59 — Chelsea 4–3 Brighton: absolute cinema

20:19 — Chelsea’s counterattack & Brighton’s threat

21:00 — Cole Palmer is BACK

23:28 — What’s changed tactically for Palmer?

25:24 — What actually makes a natural striker?

27:52 — João Pedro delivers again

28:28 — Can Chelsea genuinely compete for the title?

29:45 — Manchester United 5–2 Ipswich

30:31 — Ipswich chose bravery…and paid for it

32:34 — Bruno Fernandes masterclass

34:50 — Five Aside Fantasy League prizes

35:59 — Arsenal vs Aston Villa predictions

37:10 — Player of the Week debate

38:21 — Cherki, Bruno & Mccatee get their flowers

38:43 — Team of the Week

39:12 — Outro

Chelsea start with three points — and AK & Inii are already feeling dangerous. The lads break down a hard-fought London derby win, the early goal, Cole Palmer finding his rhythm, Romeo Lavia’s encouraging display, the midfield control issues without the preferred pairing, and why Robert Sánchez remains a major concern. Plus: Pedro’s 20-goal challenge, “JP Morgan”, new-signing first impressions, and why everyone might want to keep sleeping on Chelsea.

Timestamps

00:00 – Chelsea fans can finally smile again

01:24 – Lineup reaction & pre-match panic

02:03 – Why Chelsea lose this game last season

03:02 – Lavia, Reece James & the makeshift midfield

04:18 – Is Cole Palmer finding his rhythm again?

05:16 – Sánchez has GOT to go?!

06:56 – Inii responds: three points are three points

07:26 – Lineup concerns & the lightning-fast opener

08:51 – The 20-goal challenge & attacking chemistry

09:32 – Why Fulham away is always a nightmare

10:45 – Rivals struggling & the value of three points

11:13 – Chelsea’s biggest problem: midfield control

12:14 – Why it’s too early to hit the panic button

13:09 – “The pressure is on Arsenal!”

13:38 – Standout players & debut performances

14:19 – Palmer combinations & “JP Morgan” 😂

14:38 – $200 bet won: stop sleeping on Chelsea

15:07 – Title talk?! Final thoughts & Up The Chels

The Premier League is BACK — and some clubs clearly missed the memo. 😂

AK and Dalu break down the opening weekend, from Arsenal looking like the most complete squad in the league to Tottenham proving that money can’t buy everything. We get into City’s resilience, Brighton doing Brighton things, Manchester United’s worrying start under Carrick, and why fitness and mentality are already separating teams.

Plus: #FreeMartinelli, Myles Lewis-Skelly hype, Sangaré’s impressive showing, some outrageous early-season predictions, and enough hot takes to get us cancelled before Matchweek 2.

New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥

Timestamps

00:00 — New season, new studio & the Premier League is BACK

02:30 — Arsenal start strong: is this finally their year?

03:20 — Saliba, Lewis-Skelly & Arsenal’s new-look squad

05:00 — “The most complete squad in the league”

06:15 — Tottenham: money can’t buy everything 😂

07:00 — Spurs spending gets VERY suspicious 👀

07:40 — Why preseason fitness is already showing

08:00 — How far can Tottenham actually go?

09:15 — Brighton cook Aston Villa

10:00 — Brighton: Chelsea’s “academy away” 😂

11:30 — Man City survive Bournemouth

12:00 — Haaland means business again

13:00 — Can City challenge for the title?

14:30 — The Maresca slander begins 😭

16:00 — Manchester United: we need to talk

16:45 — The Bruno Fernandes problem

17:40 — Wild Top 4 prediction: Crystal Palace?!

19:00 — Why United struggle when they have to dominate

20:30 — Is Carrick really the man for Manchester United?

22:15 — #FreeMartinelli: what is Arsenal doing?

24:00 — Has Arsenal outgrown Martinelli?

25:30 — Player of the weekend: Sangaré

26:10 — Teams to watch: Brentford & Brighton

27:00 — Final takes & outro

Manchester United are back… and so is the pain. 😭 After another frustrating performance, the Five Aside crew breaks down why United still struggle to create against teams sitting deep, whether Michael Carrick deserves patience, and why the club’s problems go far beyond the manager.

Then comes the main event: Bruno Fernandes discourse. Is United’s reliance on Bruno’s goals and assists actually holding the team back? The crew debates his lack of control, the Ødegaard comparison, Tielemans’ struggles, and whether the Messi-Ronaldo era has completely cooked the way fans judge footballers.

Plus: United’s ownership problem, the Amorim decision, Carrick Out shouts already, and why rebuilding properly might mean accepting some serious suffering first.

Timestamps

00:00 — The Manchester United hate-watch begins

00:55 — Why United dominate possession but create nothing

01:30 — Is Bruno only elite in transition?

02:15 — Does United have to build everything around Bruno?

03:00 — Carrick, the owners & United’s endless cycle

05:30 — David joins: United still can’t defend crosses

06:10 — Carrick’s questionable lineup decisions

06:45 — Tielemans and United’s midfield system

07:25 — United’s midfield lacks physicality

08:05 — Is it already time for “Carrick Out”?

08:30 — Why United might need to be bad before getting good

09:20 — United fans, patience & chasing instant results

10:00 — Did United make a huge mistake sacking Amorim?

10:35 — Does United need to move on from Bruno Fernandes?

11:00 — Bruno as United’s Aubameyang

11:45 — The biggest problem with Bruno’s game

12:20 — Are goals & assists ruining football analysis?

13:30 — The Ronaldo/Juventus comparison

14:20 — Did Messi & Ronaldo break our expectations?

15:05 — Modern Ballon d’Or debates beyond G/A

15:35 — Tielemans, Palhinha & United’s new midfield

16:15 — Ødegaard vs Bruno: control vs chaos

17:00 — Why Carrick deserves a genuine chance

18:00 — Final thoughts & Five Aside sign-off

The Premier League is BACK, which means the Five Aside prediction table is officially open — and the agendas have started immediately. 😂

The boys predict EPL Game Week 1, with 1 point for the correct result and 3 points for the exact score. Arsenal get plenty of love against Coventry, United’s new firepower gets backed against Hull, Spurs are tipped to start flying — while some absolutely shameless upset predictions enter the chat.

Then it’s Newcastle vs Liverpool, Chelsea’s Monday-night trip to Fulham, City vs Bournemouth and more. Plus, we introduce the Five Aside FPL league, tease the upcoming jersey/merch drop and lay down predictions that will either look genius or absolutely horrific by Monday.

Screenshot the receipts. We’re keeping score all season. ⚽😂

Timestamps

00:00 — Cold Open: Chelsea 1-1?!

00:17 — Welcome to Five Aside: Prediction competition rules

00:55 — Arsenal vs Coventry predictions

01:35 — Hull City vs Manchester United

02:08 — Everton vs Crystal Palace

02:40 — Brentford vs Tottenham

03:10 — Dortmund vs Bayern predictions

03:35 — Brighton vs Aston Villa

04:35 — Newcastle vs Liverpool

05:35 — Fulham vs Chelsea: Monday FC 😂

06:35 — Manchester City vs Bournemouth

07:20 — Five Aside FPL league announcement

07:40 — Five Aside merch & watch-along tease

08:00 — Football is BACK!

The boys are finally back together — and the new season hasn’t even properly kicked off before the agendas start flying. 😂

We lock in our 2026/27 Premier League predictions, debate whether Arsenal can defend their crown, hear the Chelsea title propaganda, rank the best transfer windows, and break down Arsenal and Manchester United’s latest moves.

Then everything goes completely left: Is Joao Pedro really an R9 regen? Can he break Chelsea’s infamous No. 9 curse? And somehow that turns into an all-out Joao Pedro vs Gabriel Jesus war.

Plus: Baleba to United, Arsenal building the Avengers of Premier League defences, Spurs’ transfer business, bold season expectations and plenty of takes that will absolutely come back to haunt us.

New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥

Timestamps

0:00 Intro / banter

1:01 Premier League predictions

7:18 Best transfer window debate

18:41 Joao Pedro / Ronaldo "regen" debate

28:29 Chelsea's number 9 curse

34:35 Gabriel Jesus vs Joao Pedro argument

41:34 Arsenal defense (Konsa signing)

48:16 Man United's Baleba signing

66:37 Season expectations (per team)

70:32 Final thoughts / sign-off

The Premier League is almost back, and the agendas are already in mid-season form. Arsenal celebrate another statement performance over Man City, while AK explains why Chelsea’s once-a-week schedule could turn them into genuine title contenders.

Dalu and AK put the bias on the table and make their Premier League predictions, debate whether Arsenal are actually dominant enough to retain the crown, assess Chelsea’s rebuild, question City and United, and take the prediction tour across Europe. Expect bold calls, questionable logic and enough receipts to ruin friendships by May.

Timestamps

0:00 – Intro & 5ASIDE theme song

0:21 – Arsenal 3-0 Man City Community Shield recap

5:09 – Skelly, Ødegaard, Tzolis standout performances

10:14 – Will Chelsea actually win the Premier League?

12:13 – Premier League title predictions (top four & more)

33:34 – Top scorer predictions & Osimhen-to-Arsenal talk

39:42 – La Liga predictions

46:20 – Serie A predictions

46:50 – Can this Real Madrid team match Mourinho's 2011-12 side?

53:26 – Should Chelsea sell Enzo Fernández to Man City?

56:18 – Separating the man from the art (Enzo debate continues)

65:26 – Joao Pedro vs. Ronaldo de Lima (R9) hot take

66:03 – Outro & sign-off

The boys are back and the football banter is already in midseason form. Luis Enrique wants more Champions Leagues, but has he done enough to sit with Pep, Mourinho, Fergie and Ancelotti? Roberto Martinez catches another round of fraud-watch allegations, Xavi takes on the Netherlands job, and the lads make some ruthless Start, Bench or Drop calls featuring Henry, Ronaldinho, Hazard, Iniesta, KDB, Modrić, Van Dijk, Ramos and John Terry.

Plus: Chelsea and Arsenal transfer talk, the Enzo price tag, Kelly’s future, Pedro Neto links, Madueke slander and the universal truth that Arsenal will get bantered no matter what they do. Proper Five Aside chaos.

Timestamps

00:00 — Welcome Back + Is Preseason Football Dead?

01:00 — Super Cup Apathy & Football Fatigue

03:00 — Garnacho’s Awkward Aura Farming

04:40 — Luis Enrique Wants a Champions League Three-Peat

06:00 — Is Luis Enrique Already an All-Time Great Manager?

09:40 — Roberto Martinez: Football’s King of Failing Upwards?

12:00 — Did Martinez Waste Belgium’s Golden Generation?

13:30 — Brazil, Belgium & World Cup Underachievement

15:00 — Are Roberto Martinez’s Stats Actually Misleading?

16:30 — Xavi Takes Over the Netherlands

18:30 — Can Xavi Actually Coach at the Elite Level?

21:00 — Start, Bench or Drop: Henry, Ronaldinho & Hazard

22:45 — Start, Bench or Drop: Iniesta, KDB & Modrić

25:00 — Start, Bench or Drop: John Terry, Ramos & Van Dijk

26:30 — Is Sergio Ramos Overrated Defensively?

28:40 — Kelly to Chelsea? Arsenal Transfer Talk

30:30 — Enzo to Man City for £120M?!

31:40 — Balogun, Pedro Neto & Arsenal Shopping at Chelsea Again

32:45 — Madueke Slander & Preseason Overreactions

34:15 — Why Arsenal Will ALWAYS Get Bantered

35:00 — Outro