9 No widow may be put on

It's interesting that there is

So, which widows should you be

The list began with truly being in

Now, Paul continues the list:

That's quite a list!

Why over 60? Wasn't life expectancy

Besides that, when a widow was

7 Give the people these

Timothy, I know there is an endless

You don't want to have your people

5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.

Put your hope in God and live, or seek pleasure and you are already dead. That pretty much sums up what these 2 verses say. They are specifically referencing widows, but they apply to everyone.

It's fair to say that the greater the need, the more someone senses their need for the Lord. When you "have it all" (which applies to the vast majority of people in our culture), it breeds an independence and high arrogance - what do I need God for? I'm doing just fine on my own!

If you do a Google search for "pleasures of life," you will find article after article with such intriguing titles as "35 of life's simple pleasures to cherish every day," and "101 simple pleasures in life." The list is endless, but the ideas are

• That first sip of coffee in the morning

• Taking a bath

• The sunset

• Clothes fresh out of the dryer

• Sleeping in

• Dining by candle light

• Freshly baked cookies

You get the idea. But that can't be what Paul is writing about.

I think it's more, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!" kind of pleasures.

3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

So, what's the need?

In these verses, Paul begins with the blanket statement, "Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need." If there really is a need, do something about it! Don't ignore it and hope it goes away - find a solution, Timothy - just like they did in Acts 6. And do it without compromising their dignity.

And then you deal with, "who are really in need." Something like a means test. Do they really need assistance? And who should that assistance come from?

Throughout many years of dealing with people in need, the principle I always used was to err on the side of generosity. Sure, you will get ripped off sometimes, but if you're afraid of getting taken advantage of occasionally, you will end up never helping anybody. And besides - if they are taking something they are not entitled to, that's on them.

Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.

In Paul's first letter to Timothy, chapter 5, beginning at verse 3, he takes the next 13 verses to talk about the relationship between widows - those women whose husbands had died - and their families, and the church. There are cultural differences between the days of the early church, just as there are between cultures in the world today. So as we crawl our way through these verses, we need to be looking for principles that we ought to be applying in our own families and churches.

Sometimes, life just isn't fair. No, let me restate that - often, life isn't fair.

Think about it this way: Every marriage will come to an end, no matter how good it is. It could end in a few different ways, but they will all end. In Canada today, about 40% of marriages end in divorce. I'm sure many more are ending in permanent separation, and I know that many of those who have divorces and separations experience more than one, but we're still left with the fact that the other 50% or so will also end - with the death of the husband, or the wife. Each time a marriage ends, it's a tragedy - one that is the result of sin in the world.

Way back in the Old Testament, God laid out a plan for how to deal with life when it handed you lemons. It was a very different culture than ours - to put it simply, men ruled, and women gained their lives through their relationships with men. But even then, it appears that the life expectancy of men was less than that or women. As a result, there were far more widows than widowers. If a man became a widower because his wife died, he could continue to support himself through his job, whatever it was, but typically a widow who had lost her husband would have no personal assets or employment. Some would have their own little business (see Proverbs 31), but many, and perhaps most, could become destitute.

So, God laid out a plan. Once a woman was welcomed into the family of her husband, if her husband died, she would remain the responsibility of his family. Even more specifically, it was the obligation of one of the unmarried men in the family to marry her, and thus provide her support in every way.

But it didn't always work out that way. Sometimes, for a variety of circumstances, the widow was left destitute. And that's what this passage of scripture is all about.

One of the great loses in our society as a whole is the loss of respect for one another. Apparently, it's nothing new! I know that when I was growing up, I was taught to respect others, especially those in authority. Teachers were Mr. This and Mrs. That. Most people at church were Mr., Miss, or Mrs. But then a level of familiarity increased, and we began to use first names more. I'm not convinced that caused a loss of respect, but it may have been the beginning of something. Some societies have moved faster in eliminating titles, but others such as the US south I believe are still more formal, with Sunday School teachers being called "Miss Karen" and so on, and lots of adults are Uncle and Aunt - like is often the case in Newfoundland here in Canada.

But overall, there seems to have been a "crassening" of the culture. I don't believe language on its own is the cause, but as it's becoming an increasing symptom, as it's reflected more in entertainment - music, movies, and TV shows, respect is diminishing. I expect it's a downward spiral where increased lack of respect causes more lack of respect, and so on.

For example, a few decades ago, the transcripts of the Watergate tapes had the repeated use of the terms "expletive deleted." The language being used in the Oval Office was considered to be not suitable for polite society. It clearly was being used, but you wouldn't dare use it in public. That same language is now constantly in the public sphere. It's almost impossible to watch a movie or TV show made for Netflix which doesn't have the F word in it. We watched "Air," the story behind the creation of Nike's Air Jordan basketball shoes, and it was filled with language which we would not permit in our home. Canadian public television is much worse than US network shows for language, and mainstream music is simply disgusting much of the time.

Here's the thing: the language we use shows a lot about the respect (or lack of) we have for those who are listening.

Last fall, Elsie and I celebrated our 51st anniversary - 51 years of wedded bliss. Okay, it wasn't all bliss. We have survived 50 years of being married. No, it's better than that, but it wouldn't have happened without perseverance. We refused to give up.

When Dave (our oldest) and Maia first got married, they moved to Phoenix. After their first year, we visited them, and during our trip we travelled together to San Diego, and then up to the Los Angeles area before returning to Arizona. Along the way, we asked Dave what he had learned from us and the marriage he had seen up close and personal for all of his life. With no delay, he said, "Failure is not an option."

That's true.

As I'm editing this, I'm watching the French Open, and I noticed a quote from Roland Garros on the wall of the tennis stadium which honours his name. It says, "Victory belongs to the most tenacious." He took a quote from Napoleon and made it his own. The original was, "Victory belongs to the most persevering." It's true. You can't quit your way to winning at anything!

15 Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

"What you do and who you are speak so loudly, I can't hear what you say."

Hypocrisy is a very real thing - but please, don't pretend it's only in the church. It's anywhere that people are! It's in government and in businesses and in homes and in hospitals and in government, too. Yes, I did say government twice, but that's because so many politicians have made an art form out of it. In my thinking, hypocrisy is about pretending to be someone who we are not.

There's an old proverb that says “The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them.” And I'm thinking of the song by the Who, "Won't Get Fooled Again!" Yes, we will.

But for us who are believers, Paul here says, "Timothy, make sure that how you live measures up to what you believe and teach."

Many people live lives of dissonance, which is sort of like finger nails on a chalkboard. They are so busy pretending to be somebody that they forget to be themselves, and that is exhausting.

In many ways, pastors are expected to be jacks of all trades.

When we were pastors of our first church in Toronto, by necessity, we did everything.

1. Lead the church

2. Teach the church

3. Count the offering

4. Account for the finances - balance the books

5. Do the banking

6. Lead the Sunday School

7. Lead the women's ministry (that was Elsie's job)

8. Lead the vision process - purpose, mission, vision, etc.

9. Repair the plumbing

10. Build a new stage for the auditorium

11. Deal with all property matters, getting and submitting quotes and supervising contractors

12. Drive the Sunday school bus

13. Conduct open-air gatherings to attract kids and grow our Sunday School

14. Conscript and train teachers and other workers

15. Provide pastoral care for the congregation and the community

16. Visit hospitals as required

17. Conduct weddings and funerals for those in the community who did not have a church home

18. Provide pre-marriage counselling, marriage counselling, crisis counselling, etc.

19. Visit the are pubs and strip clubs on Friday evenings to sell The War Cry (the weekly newspaper) and build relationships with the patrons

20. Plan worship services, including choosing songs and everything else

21. Prepare and preach both Sunday mornings and evenings, about 42 times a year

22. Deal with those in the community in need of social services such as food, lodging, travel and clothing

23. Lead an after-school drop in for the kids in the neighbourhood

24. Deal with all correspondence with our Divisional and Territorial Headquarters

25. Maintain and submit all statistics - attendance, decisions, and membership

26. Conduct membership classes and interviews

27. Prepare for and participate in annual audits

28. Prepare for and participate in annual inspections

29. Oversee all ministries of the church, including youth ministry and hospital visitation

30. Respond to the late night calls, such as "I have cockroaches! What are you going to do about it?"

31. Oh - and don't forget - "Be still before the Lord and wait for him patiently" (Psalm 37:7).

I want to go lay down, but I'll be trying to catch a few Z's, not listening for the Lord!

And Paul says, "Timothy, do not neglect your gift."

And I think, "Paul, I have so much to do!"

When we were still in college, we subscribed to Leadership Journal, which is published by Christianity Today. That year, they printed an article by Eugene Peterson with the audacious title, "The Unbusy Pastor: The word busy is the symptom not of commitment but of betrayal." I didn't realize until years later that this was the Eugene Peterson who taught at Regent College here in Vancouver, and who wrote "The Message: The Bible in Contemporary English."

Here we were, getting into full-time ministry, up to our eyeballs in responsibilities and with very limited support, and we were being told that to be busy is to betray both the Lord and our calling!

6 If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished on the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed. 7 Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 9 This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. 10 That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe

Hi. I'm Phil Routly, and this is FIVE Minutes with Phil.

Today I'm continuing with Paul's first letter to Timothy. It's what I call "Timothy, My Son."

I remember hearing about the training that people go through in order to become a teller in a bank. One essential skill is to recognize counterfeit currency. In Canada, I would estimate that something like 99% of the funds they deal with would be Canadian, and there are quite a number of features on the bills which make them hard to counterfeit, and easy to detect, but the number one method of detection is the feel. Tellers are trained by handling hundreds of thousands of Canadian bills so that when they handle one that isn't genuine, it sticks out like a sore thumb. It's not about "here's what to look for on phoney money" it's about knowing the real thing.

Same thing with knowing what is godly. Paul writes, "Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales." Instead, spend a lot of time knowing what godliness looks and feels like.

In other words, you don't need to know every trick in the book that Satan is capable of dreaming up - you need to know Jesus!

Paul writes, "Train yourself to be godly." Maybe it's weird, but when I think of "training," I immediately begin hearing the theme music from Rocky.

If I was in my teens, and I had a shot at becoming a professional home run hitter, I'd watch every video I could find of Vladimir Guerrero Jr. This amazing 23 year old hit 80 home runs for the Blue Jays over the last two years. A couple of years ago, he came within inches of winning the home run derby at the All Star Game. I'd want to see how it's done!

If I wanted to make a living as a football broadcaster, I'd watch as many games as I could, and listen to the way the play-by-play guys do it. Watch the best, and learn from the best.