When you are in a place that you want to leave, but you can’t - you have to figure out a way to stay in your true identity, your authenticity - because that frustration can deeply impact how you feel, what you say, how you interact with others - and yes, even the future of your own career.

The phrases below can be repeated daily to make job hugging easier on your nervous system. This isn’t all-inclusive - comment with your own phrases that help!

Take a deep breath before each one, and a deep breath after.

“My work is at work. My home is at home.” Repeat this in the morning a few times. It gives a sense of light at the end of the day - that you can leave work at work. Truly. You don’t have to bring it home with you every night.

“This is temporary until the economy gets better. This gives me time to move strategically.” Reframing the situation as strategic instead of stuck can be the equivalent of visualizing an open door. You are not there by force. You are not stuck. You are strategic.

“I am the most important part of this employment equation.” Reminding yourself that you made this choice for yourself, and that you are centered in that decision can help you distance from any guilt you may feel for not overperforming or taking on more than you can do. Caring for yourself in a toxic situation is mandatory.

“I am using this time to prepare myself for my next move.” Reinforcing the messaging that this is a time for you to learn and grow will help your brain identify more opportunities that align with the direction you are going.

“I can leave any time I want to - and being thoughtful and prepared to leave is the most compassionate thing I can do for myself.” Repeating the idea of exiting makes it more real. This guides your brain to solutions oriented towards that eventual exit. It also calms the nervous system from feeling trapped - a big trigger for most people. Repeating the idea that you are kind to yourself - it reinforces your self-love, self-awareness and self-care.

Listen, it might get harder before it gets easier. But by thoughtfully centering yourself, your well-being, and in particular, your mental health, by regulating your nervous system, you give yourself the gift of calm, the gift of perspective and the gift of strategy.

Be kind to yourself. It’s rough right now.

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