Flirtin After Forty

This episode is a little different.

After two weeks away, I’ve been thinking about what I’m putting my energy into, what I’m asking for, and whether the stories we tell ourselves eventually become the lives we create.

When I started Flirtin’ After Forty, I was looking for love. Somewhere along the way, the terrible dating profiles, ridiculous men, heartbreak, and chaos became part of the entertainment. But what if focusing on all of that has also been keeping me focused on exactly what I don’t want?

And what if love at 46 isn’t supposed to feel like the lightning bolt I remember from being 20?

Maybe it looks like safety. Honesty. Vulnerability. Someone willing to show up, do the work, and grow alongside you.

So I’m making a decision I didn’t expect to make: I’m pausing the podcast.

Not necessarily goodbye. Just space to invest in the life, relationships, family, and version of myself that I actually want to grow.

And maybe Flirtin’ After Forty was never only about flirting with men anyway.

Maybe it’s about flirting with your life.

Fresh off a Costa Rica getaway, I’m questioning whether I’ve officially become a bougie traveler—and apparently, my entire understanding of dating while I’m at it.

I went on a genuinely great date with a sweet, thoughtful guy… only to find out afterward that he’s still technically married. Then Sam called, someone from high school resurfaced, and—plot twist—I found myself reaching back into the past too.

Which got me thinking: as we get older, does love still come with that instant, can’t-stop-thinking-about-you feeling? Or have life, heartbreak, baggage, and experience changed the way falling in love feels?

This week: Costa Rica people-watching, married men on dating apps, people coming out of the woodwork, J-Man, and whether I’ve been chasing a feeling that doesn’t exist anymore.

Dating after 40 is weird. Like… really weird.

This week I’m talking about the strange world of modern dating — meeting strangers online, hoping for that old-school “meet cute,” and figuring out what happens when people show you exactly who they are.

From a Home Depot romance gone wrong to the latest dating profile disasters (yes, including toilet photos ‍♀️), we’re talking red flags, boundaries, and why hope doesn’t mean ignoring the obvious.

Plus, another lesson from Burned Haystack Dating Method and my ongoing quest to find someone who knows how to act like a grown-up.

Thanks for hanging out with me. And as always… block and burn those red flags.

Scratch is officially off the roster—but not because anything dramatic happened. Sometimes two people simply stop reaching for each other, and that tells you everything you need to know.

This week, I’m talking about chemistry, trusting that little feeling when something seems off, and realizing that “nice” is not always enough. I’m also fresh off a surprisingly wonderful trip to Michigan with my kids, slightly less wonderful interactions with my ex, and the very real realization that I am tired, menopausal, and completely ready for school to start again.

Then we head back into the dating apps, where the men are still leading with “you’re cute,” asking for phone numbers after three messages, posting mysterious emoji-only profiles, advertising “magical tongues,” and apparently placing bananas in their pants.

So yes, I’m back on Hinge. I’m not sure I’m happy about it—but it does mean more entertainment for all of us.

Plus, this week’s Burned Haystack red flag: the man who wants you to know he is extremely busy…but might make time for you if you prove you’re worth it.

This line from the episode is gorgeous. It also ties beautifully to Safe Kept Legacy without feeling like a sales pitch.

When the Universe Whispers
This captures the book, the movie, the boat, the house, and the feeling that something keeps nudging you forward.

In this episode, I’m stepping away from dating for a minute and talking about life, legacy, memory, and the strange little ways the universe keeps whispering when we’re trying not to listen.

After getting back from Michigan with my kids, I was exhausted and almost skipped recording. But I kept feeling this need to share what had happened — not as a sales pitch, not as a perfectly polished business update, but as something personal.

I talk about Safekept Legacy, the business I started because I wanted people to be able to leave messages, memories, photos, and words for the people they love — especially after they’re gone. And I also talk honestly about how hard it has been, how the idea hasn’t worked the way I hoped, and how I’ve been thinking about shutting it down.

But then came all these little signs.

A book about a husband leaving books behind for his wife.
A trip to Michigan.
My parents selling their boat.
One last tubing ride with my kids.
A scary moment in the water.
My mom, who never records anything, suddenly pulling out her phone to capture all of us telling the story afterward.
And then a movie about voicemails, grief, love, and the voices we hold onto.

This episode is about the places that hold our memories, the people we’re afraid of losing, and the way our kids will remember their childhoods. It’s about wanting to preserve the lake house, the boat days, the grandparents, the laughter, the stories, and the voices. It’s about how we show up for people when we can’t physically be there anymore.

And maybe, more than anything, it’s about listening when the universe keeps nudging you toward something that still matter

Some weeks quietly pass by. Others completely change your perspective.

This week reminded me how fragile life can be as I took my son in for another EEG and found myself sitting in that familiar place every parent knows—the one where you'd do absolutely anything to protect your child. It was a reminder to slow down, be grateful, and appreciate the moments we often take for granted.

Then...life surprised me.

I jumped back on Hinge with one goal: practice the Burned Haystack Dating Method—not necessarily meet someone. But apparently the universe had other plans. I met someone I'm calling Scratch, and for the first time in a long time, I'm allowing myself to simply receive instead of chase.

We talk about why "receiving" has been my word of the year, what a genuinely healthy first date looked like, why matching custody schedules feels like winning the lottery, and how quickly life can shift when you're open to unexpected opportunities.

Of course, we're also adding another Burned Haystack dating pattern to our growing list of red flags, and I have plenty of hilarious (and slightly horrifying) Hinge profiles to share—including a man whose biggest goal this year is to speed less and another who apparently needs an entire room dedicated to crying.

Sometimes all it takes is one week to remind you that hope isn't gone...it was just waiting for the right moment.

In this episode, I’m talking about the aftermath of my very questionable “can we be friends with benefits?” experiment with J-Man — and yes, you were all right. Bad idea. I know. I knew it too, but apparently I needed to gather my own evidence like a little emotional scientist.

After one “indiscretion,” the door reopened to texting, feelings, sad conversations, and the very strange experience of being broken up but suddenly having a key to his house so I can watch his dog. So, you know, totally normal and not complicated at all.

I’m also talking about hope — specifically the kind of big romantic hope that makes some of us still believe in deep, real love, even after roadblocks, heartbreak, and a few “learning opportunities,” as corporate America would say.

Then I get into Burn the Haystack, a dating book and approach that is making me rethink how I look at dating apps, profiles, boundaries, and all the tiny red flags we have been trained to explain away. The big takeaway? We do not owe strange men explanations, debates, apologies, or second chances when they show us who they are. Sometimes the answer is just: block the motherfucker.

And, because dating apps remain committed to being a public health concern, I share a few profile gems — including “dating me is like eating gummy worms with no teeth on a bareback camel ride,” a grown man looking for a “good girl,” and a 51-year-old man seeking women 18 to 45 with “no career women need apply.”

So yes, the haystack is on fire. Bring snacks.

In this episode, I’m talking about one very strange, emotional, maybe magical day — 6/26/26 — where I somehow spent nearly seven hours on the phone, which is hilarious because I swear I don’t even like talking on the phone.

The day started with a text from J-Man about anger, hurt, and everything that was still sitting between us. That turned into a long conversation about the breakup, what happened, what still hurts, and whether anger was really the right word for what he was feeling. Then, because apparently I like to test the universe, we ended up hanging out, grabbing sushi, and crossing into the very complicated territory of “can you be friends with benefits with someone you actually loved?”

I’m also asking the big questions: Can you be friends with an ex? Can men and women really be friends? Can sex stay casual when there are real feelings and history involved? And what happens when you know someone is not your person, but you still care about them?

Also, because dating apps remain committed to being unwell, I share a few profile gems — including a man who only allows one message per week and another who introduced us to the word “yuns.” So there’s that.

This one is about anger, shame, boundaries, sex, friendship, exes, and me fully admitting that I do not know what the hell I’m doing.

In this episode, I start with Father’s Day, teenage boys testing out pickup lines at my kitchen table, and me maybe being a questionable mom while casually giving advice on how to flee golf course security. So, parenting. Nailed it.

Then I finally watch Ted Lasso after avoiding it for years because it reminded me of someone from my past. And, annoyingly, it’s amazing. It sends me down a little emotional rabbit hole — looking up old connections, seeing who got married, who moved on, and sitting with that weird sting of wondering if I helped certain men become ready for someone else.

This one is about old patterns, the ache of being part of someone’s healing but not their ending, why we absolutely should not go digging through old profiles, and how sometimes a TV show about belief can hit you right in the feelings. Also, there are giant gym balls at the end. Because apparently this is still my life.

In this episode, I’m catching you up after a solo trip to Cabo that I desperately needed. I went into the trip stressed, overwhelmed, and carrying way too much from work, life, summer, and the J-Man breakup — and somehow came home lighter, happier, and a little more restored.

I talk about what it’s really like traveling alone, including the beautiful parts, the awkward parts, and the part where I accidentally sent myself to the wrong place in an Uber and had a mild internal panic spiral. But I survived, bought earrings, and now I have a story.

I also share the book I read about soulmates and the question it left me with: if you could know who your soulmate was, would you want to know?

And because life is ridiculous, I’m also officially celebrating 365 days without a period, which means menopause has entered the chat. Hot flashes, rage, brain fog, no sleep — cheers to womanhood, apparently.

To wrap it up, I get into the latest dating nonsense: an AI-generated dating resume. Because apparently dating after forty now requires career ambition, emotional intelligence, and a PDF attachment. God help us all.