Rachel had a dream about her and Chandler having sex and Ross is jealous. Monica's boyfriend Ethan is a senior at college but their age difference is no problem because Monica told him she was 22. Phoebe fills in for Chandler's secretary but tells Chandler that nobody likes him. Ethan and Monica have sex after Ethan tells her he is a virgin and Monica confesses to being 26. Ethan then tells her that he is a senior in high school and Monica freaks out. Rachel has another dream about Chandler - but this time Joey was there too. Chandler accompanies Phoebe to a party with people from work even though he was not invited but they still don't like him. Monica tells Ethan she loves him but can't be with him. Rachel has a dream about Ross while Ross is there and she yells out his name. They share an almost intimate moment when Ross gets beeped that Carol is in labor. Everybody leaves for the hospital.

Monica's credit card has been stolen, and she feels that the thief is living the life she ought to have. She tracks her down to a tap-dance class, and ends up liking her and spending lots of time with her. Ross's monkey is humping everything, so he has to give him away, but finding an appropriate zoo is a difficult task.

The gang become annoyed after they discover someone is spying on them from the building across the street. Rachel and Barry start dating again, even though he is engaged to Mindy. Chandler goes crazy when a girl he likes doesn't return his phone calls.

Ross asks Rachel to keep Marcel for a day, and she loses him. Everyone starts looking for him, and Rachel calls Animal Control over to help, but she doesn't know that Ross is not allowed to have an exotic monkey. The Animal Control employee is in fact a former schoolmate of Monica and Rachel, and she hates them, so they all race to find the monkey first.

Although Rachel failed to properly proofread her xeroxed resumes she does get an interview for her professional dream coming true as an assistant buyer. Meanwhile Phoebe's baseless feminist suspicion that the boys' poker night is somehow a macho conspiracy leads to the girls insisting to participate. Teaching them poker rules is like explaining rocket science to Joey, so the girls loose crushingly. Competitive Monica demands a rematch, after advanced lessons from her experienced aunt Iris. Finally, it comes down to a duel between Ross and Rachel, but she gets a call first: the buyer job fell through.

Rachel switches identities with Monica so she can use her health insurance. Meanwhile, Ursula continues to come between Phoebe and Joey.

Chandler's boss orders him to tell his foxy junior co-worker Nina that she's fired but he can't and ends up dating her instead. He tells the boss she's in therapy as she is unable to handle or even remember her sacking. Chandler even promises her a raise! Ross's monkey Marcel has become systematically troublesome, yet he's the only one who masters the TV control's foreign language channels in Monica's apartment. Ross joins Carol and Susan in Lamaze class which turns into a disaster when Carol can't come and he has to play her part. A birth video makes Carol decide 'not to go through' with the birth anyway. Chandler and Joey find Phoebe's twin sister Ursula working in a bar. Joey asks for Phoebe's blessing to date her sister which is reluctantly given.

Chandler has news: his boss offered him a promotion to data processing coordinator. So Chandler resigned! He has spent five years in what was meant to be a 'temporary' job and feels he is destined for something more meaningful than 'worrying about the 'weenus.' But he doesn't know what! After a full day of aptitude tests, Chandler is declared perfectly fit for data processing. He refuses to believe it, but his boss keeps making better and better offers. A massage client of Phoebe's is opening a restaurant, just the kind Monica would like to run, so she sets up a demonstration to impress the boss, Steve. Alas he arrives under the influence of weed, which makes him a voracious, infantile omnivore. Meanwhile Ross has a promising date with the museum's Insects curator and introduces her to his monkey Marcel.

It is Valentine's day and only the boys have got dates. After an opening line about an egg that Joey and Chandler recommended, Ross gets his first date since his divorce with the ladylike Kristen. However Carol and her lesbian partner Susan end up in the same restaurant. Susan gets called away to work so Ross makes everyone shift seats to let Carol sit with him and his date. Alas their conversation gets a bit too exclusive. Joey insists that Chandler comes to a restaurant as his foxy date Lorraine demanded a double-date. Her unknown friend turns out to be Chandler's ex Janice. When Joey and Lorraine leave early, Chandler and Janice use his credit card to order the best champagne. The two bottles contain so much alcohol they wake up together. Meanwhile the date-less girls take Phoebe's advice to perform a cleansing ritual: burning in a keepsakes from boys they want to forget. Paolo's grappa contains so much alcohol the ebullient effect requires calling three hunky firemen to the ...

Joey finds out his dad has a mistress. Rachel tries to even the score after Chandler inadvertently catches a glimpse of her breasts. Phoebe dates a shrink who analyzes the gang.