for someone else

Simon

"Between a suicide attempt, at say 1 in the morning, is something different to just getting shopping"

Simon Law cares for his mother who suffers with ME and severe depression that so far has lead her to try and commit suicide 20 times.

Simon is 26 and has been caring for his mother full time for 2 years. He has given up his prospects of moving out from his family home and starting a career in order to be the only one of 3 children to stay in Perranporth with his mother.

When Simon gets any spare time away from working and caring he likes to play video games and tries at least once a month to socialise at the pub with his friends.

Francesca

"The easiest part is cleaning his bum, washing him, making sure he's eaten"

Francesca cares for her husband and has been for the last few years. Francesca's husband suffers with arthritis and has become very weak and can no longer go up and down the stairs so sits and sleeps in his chair.

Francesca is still able to go out in the afternoon when her husband goes to sleep. In this time she chooses to go to art classes, has piano lessons and goes and meets her sister in town every Friday.

Even though she can still go out and have a little time to herself, Francesca finds it hard to not think about her husband and finds the worry the hardest part of being a carer.

Unfortunately since I met Francesca her husband has passed away.

Lynne

"I can tell you I do my crying in the shower, even today, I do my crying in the shower, it just gets to you"

Lynne cares for her husband who suffers with breathing after a heart bypass where they unfortunately cut the franic nerve, so now he only has one lung and a raised diaphragm and severe heart problems.

Ever since this happened 6 years ago Lynne has been caring for her husband. It has changed both their lives dramatically as her husband becomes breathless easily which has stopped them being able to do more active days out together.

Lynne now meets with her friend every two weeks for a coffee in town when available and loves to go for a walk when she gets the chance. These activities along with going to the carers meeting, even though rare, allow Lynne to get some time to herself.

June

"You just manage you have to and if your not going to go mad, you find somewhere, hopefully, like the carers groups"

June cares for her husband who became paralysed down his left side after a stroke. She had been caring for him for 10 years before he moved into residential care but June still visits most days and cares for him regularly.

June has had to make many sacrifices including leaving her house to move into a more accessible bungalow and has had to self fund many additions to make the house more accessible and easy to manoeuvre.

In June's spare time she now volunteers with blind people and attends the carers support group every month and on a bank holiday she hosts the carers meeting with a cream tea at her house.

Sandy

"It's a tough road for anybody with any ailment to look after really. Stoke patients are unpredictable"

Sandy cared for her husband who was already disabled from multiple car accidents but then suffered from Strokes and multiple TAI's (transient ischaemic attack).

They both moved down to Cornwall in the late 90's and soon after they moved Sandy became her husbands carer. Sandy still managed to keep her job and look after their land and farm, due to carers checking in on her husband 3 times a day.

Sandy attended and still attends Constantine Carers Group which was an outlet for her to meet new life long friends and step away from her caring role. Now she attends in order to give advice or comfort to new carers in similar situations.

Ruth

"It's lonely because when it's 2 O' Clock in the morning and everything's just gone horribly wrong, the person you wanted to be there to support you through it is the person you're looking after"

Ruth cares for her husband who suffers with epilepsy and has been in a caring role for the last 40 years.

After managing to get a sitter for one afternoon a week Ruth was able to start her Cornish Language lessons again. This gave Ruth a life line and started to give her back her social life, which she had completely lost.

Ruth has now completed her Cornish Language Level 4 exam and now teaches others how to speak cornish and prepares them for their exams.

Debbie

"I do get a couple of ours in the evening to myself, but thats to really"

Debbie cares for both of her parents and had to move from Australia to do so. Her mother now has dementia and her father is blind and bedridden. She is their full time carer.

Debbie has been caring for her parents for 16 years and because of their constant needs she used to get everything delivered to her house until, through months of organisation, she has been supplied funding to have carers in.

This will allow Debbie time to go out and do day to day chores with ease but also allowing herself more time to go on days out with her son and potentially some time for herself.

Ann

"I've got no real social life, you don't have a social life as a carer"

Ann cares for her friend and has been ever since she moved in with her after her own marriage broke down. Ann lived with her for many years and then became her full time carer.

They now live separately but Ann still goes and visits the lady she cares for most days of the week and continues to do her shopping and other odd jobs.

Ann doesn't currently have much of a social life which she misses however she volunteers in a charity shop and goes to the Helston carers group every month which she loves.

Pat P

"In all of married life, if all our married life, I hadn't seen my husband unclothed as much as I did in the last 18 months of his life"

Pat cared for her husband who died in July 2015. Pat's husband suffered from dementia and later got diagnosed with cancer.

Pat cared for her husband for many years until the end of his life, the physical demand on her was difficult but she wouldn't have had it any other way as the thought of having someone look after his wasn't worth thinking about.

In Pat's spare time when caring her main support was the carers group that she still attends today and she also loved and still loves to complete jigsaw puzzles.

Pat L

"I know when I'm caring and when I'm not lets put it that way"

Pat cared for her first and second husband who unfortunately both suffered from repeated strokes and other ailments. Pat became a full time carer until her partners needed to go into residential care.

Both of her caring roles were demanding and even going to the shops was a struggle however she still managed to go to her embroidering class every week which was her only break.

Pat now continues to go to her classes and carer support groups and is also an occasional carer for her friend, who she is accompanying on holiday for fun but also as her support.