Forgive and forget: Is it real? Can you truly let go and forget after you forgive someone…maybe? Either way, Grey is confused and fully doesn’t know what’s happening. In this episode, our favorite Trauma Titas dive into the topic of forgiveness, namely forgive and forget, and explore their opposing viewpoints. Arnold affirms that while forgiveness is possible, it’s still seared into her memory that Rebecca stole her favorite purple pen in 4th grade. While Grey, on the other hand, holds that once you forgive someone of their offense, it’s easy to remove that offense from your view of that person…if the relationship is meaningful. Together, they explore how the cultural conventions we grow up in can dictate how we view the topic of forgiving and forgetting. Arnold explains how therapy & decolonization work has broadened his view of forgiveness, where accepting both the elements you both agree and oppose within people. After healing from a breakup, Arnold realized that forgiveness requires him to remember and embrace the parts he disagree with, while compassionately incorporating those parts into how he see them. Grey goes into how the overdramatic cultural customs she grew up in provided a framework and criteria for forgiveness, where the final condition requires a clearing of the ethereal slate. Grey explains how the forgiveness gained from a family member helped to reaffirm this view of forgiveness. The two turn it inwards to expose the moments when they struggled with forgiveness. While the two see the element of forgetting differently, they agree that forgiveness comes with a newfound view of your offender. Whether it’s understanding their faults as parts of their complexity or accepting that they’re human and had a momentary departure from their typical character.  Either Grey is still going to be late for lunch, and Rebecca from 4th grade is still on Arnold’s list.