Very That

Have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted? Yeah, neither have we girl! In this episode, your favorite Trauma Titas revisit manifestation and talk about what happens after you get what you've been asking for from the Universe. From unanticipated repercussions to enlighted self-discovery, Arnold & Grey learn to embrace the Universe's honest, albeit brutally passive-aggressive, lessons in whatever form they materialize, even if it's just another fist. 

The Trauma-Titas roll up their sleeves & dive into some insectionaliTEA for Pride month. The Titas explore their work to decolonize their mindsets and worldview by reclaiming a connection with the ancestors. Arnold & Grey discuss how decolonization work manifests in their own lives and the pieces of themselves they were able to reclaim along the way. Arnold shares how he works through the grief of a culture and a people brutalized out of existence through questioning and challenging western values only to discover the ancestors never left.... especially on the dance floor. Grey discusses how reclaiming indigenous language has given way to an awakening of emotional maturity & connection with the self (Standard English, but make it indigenous!) That’s not to say the work is without its woes, as the Titas get into the trauma of the work as it never ends. But, together – they align that the work is vital as it reclaims & reconnects the past, present, and future and, most importantly, OURSELVES!

You know that moment when you’re at a lame party and the host asks if you’re enjoying the festivities; what do you do? Politely say “yes” or “sorry gorl but isss whack”? Which answer is the right choice? Is politeness a departure from authenticity, or can politeness be genuine? In this episode, your favorite Trauma Titas dive into the discussion of “Is Politeness Authentic?”. Live, laugh, cry with Arnold and Grey as they go back and forth between their opposing views on the authenticity of politeness. Arnold expresses how past experiences with politeness have deemed the sentiment to be disingenuous and just another means of control. Arnold further explains it doesn’t mean that politeness is not always a bad thing because whose to say everyone deserves our most authentic selves? Grey flips the coin to discuss that while politeness can be feigned, it can grant access to our most authentic wants and needs. Grey explains that while polite words may not always express one’s true feelings, politeness can still express one’s sentiments. Together, they dive into their own experiences that have led them to these opposing views. After much debate & cackling, the two understand that their opposing views stem from how they see respect. In the end, they can agree that politeness itself can lead to growth and potentially more access to the world and yourself. Will these two divas ever see eye-to-eye on this topic? Listen & find out!

We all know BROWN families are close, but does that mean that we’re always connected? In this episode, your favorite Trauma Titas dive into the topic of ‘Family Closeness & Connection’. Live, Laugh, Cry with Arnold & Grey as they explore their experiences with closeness and connection in their own families, and the drama of the trauma! Arnold explains that while her family is close enough to have their hashtag, true connection requires something much more vulnerable. Further, she goes on to discuss the impact emotional dissonances with the family has on her connection to them. For Grey, sometimes the family closest to you can feel the farthest away…and maybe far enough. Grey explains that while vulnerability has deepened her connection with some of her family, it remains the block with those closest.  Together they explore how emotional vulnerability, or the lack thereof, has shaped the way their view families, and why this worthiness wound needs some Windex. As the Voula to each other’s Maria, they go on to explore how queerness expands the reach of the word family to provide a strong sense of tribal connection. In the end, the two discover that the work we do within ourselves leads the way to closeness & connectedness…even if it is oversharing about the lump on the back of your neck! In the end, they come to the conclusion that if they want true closeness with family it means not only sharing your whole self, neck lump and all, but also embrace all the lumps of your families’ necks too…OPA!

Forgive and forget: Is it real? Can you truly let go and forget after you forgive someone…maybe? Either way, Grey is confused and fully doesn’t know what’s happening. In this episode, our favorite Trauma Titas dive into the topic of forgiveness, namely forgive and forget, and explore their opposing viewpoints. Arnold affirms that while forgiveness is possible, it’s still seared into her memory that Rebecca stole her favorite purple pen in 4th grade. While Grey, on the other hand, holds that once you forgive someone of their offense, it’s easy to remove that offense from your view of that person…if the relationship is meaningful. Together, they explore how the cultural conventions we grow up in can dictate how we view the topic of forgiving and forgetting. Arnold explains how therapy & decolonization work has broadened his view of forgiveness, where accepting both the elements you both agree and oppose within people. After healing from a breakup, Arnold realized that forgiveness requires him to remember and embrace the parts he disagree with, while compassionately incorporating those parts into how he see them. Grey goes into how the overdramatic cultural customs she grew up in provided a framework and criteria for forgiveness, where the final condition requires a clearing of the ethereal slate. Grey explains how the forgiveness gained from a family member helped to reaffirm this view of forgiveness. The two turn it inwards to expose the moments when they struggled with forgiveness. While the two see the element of forgetting differently, they agree that forgiveness comes with a newfound view of your offender. Whether it’s understanding their faults as parts of their complexity or accepting that they’re human and had a momentary departure from their typical character.  Either Grey is still going to be late for lunch, and Rebecca from 4th grade is still on Arnold’s list.

Do you know what we hate? EVERYTHING! But is that necessarily a bad thing? Sure Hate is one of our more dangerous emotions in our infinite cosmic power, but is there merit to glean from it? While Hate can birth a lot of darkness, perhaps there is light in the space and distance it provides. In this episode, your favorite Trauma Titas explore the idea of Hate as it relates to their emotions and experiences in the world. Arnold dives into how Hate can provide one with the emergency emotional armor and create space between yourself and your antithesis to further explore your emotions. Grey discusses his thoughts on how the hyperbolic and sensational nature of the world today makes Hate a very accessible and easy feeling to hold on to, but is that warranted? Your Trauma Titas explore how their relationships with Hate have evolved, driving the focus back on themselves and their own wounds that still need healing. Speaking of Hate – healing isn't always the most comfortable journey. So they explore all the things they hate about the healing process. The constant crying, the epiphany of your accountability in your anxiety and depression, as well as all that pesky little ego-death, all are cause for Hate in Arnold & Grey's healing sagas. However – let's be honest: hating on someone/something can be fun and a cathartic way of coping with the dumpster fire of the world we live in today – so go off, sis! In the end, it's not hate that's bad but rather your relationship with Hate that will dictate the morality behind that most controversial of emotions.