Forgiveness is sacred. But it’s not a shortcut. Not a performance. Not a requirement for healing. Some of us were taught to forgive too quickly — out of fear, out of guilt, out of the pressure to be “good.”

Especially as Black women.Especially in the church. Especially when we were never given space to grieve what was taken.

But here’s the truth: I didn’t forgive you for you. I did it for my spirit.

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean calling them back. It means cutting the cord. Releasing the weight. Clearing the attachment and boundaries. That’s spiritual work too. That’s a “no” prayed over. That’s protection spelled out in silence. That’s clarity with a backbone.

I’ve learned to stop equating maturity with suffering. I’ve learned that walking away is sometimes the holiest thing you can do. And I’ve learned that peace feels like stillness — not approval.

If you’re still holding on to something you know you need to release… If you’ve been taught that forgiveness means forgetting who hurt you…If you’re afraid that saying “no” will make you look bitter…

Take a breath. You’re not bitter….. You’re boundaried. You’re not broken….. You’re becoming.

Covered by spirit. Guided by blood.

🎙 Listen to this full reflection now on The Practice of a Hoodoo Baptist.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.chelseavonchaz.com/subscribe