Peter is intimate with Hannah Ann and Victoria F. Madison gives him an ultimatum while telling him it's not an ultimatum. Peter tries to call her bluff and it does not look like it'll end well. Matt and Bryan then discuss the next Bachelorette possibilities.

Matt and Bryan discuss how Peter is thinking he's following his heart but what's actually throbbing is his peter. He has entered into worst Bachelor ever territory but Bryan is still lukewarm on him. At the end of the episode, Matt and Bryan make a country song in honor of Hunter Hayes.

Matt and Bryan try to stay on topic but don't succeed as Peter continues to make terrible decisions.

In the 5 hours of Bachelor airtime this week, the boys Matt and Bryan learn key Bachelor phrases like "my truth", "you'll make someone so happy", and "cut it in the butt." Peter also continues to be wishy washy and the boys Matt and Bryan discuss how he might have really cut his forehead even though there's video evidence of how it happened.

In what may be the most orchestrated episode of The Bachelor of all time, Victoria F. gets serenaded by her ex, Alayah somehow shows up and gets a rose, Victoria P. be lying, and many other tangents and debates on this wonderful episode that's an hour and we're sorry about that.

With one girl being accused of turning it on a little bit when the cameras on, Peter has a complete mental breakdown about who's real and fake. We're here for it.

Matt and Bryan talk all things Bachelor from episodes 1 and 2 as well as other weird tangents.