In the latest episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis dives deep into the art of building meaningful relationships with daughters alongside his esteemed guest, Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin. As fathers, navigating the journey of parenting daughters presents unique challenges and opportunities, and this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for dads who are committed to fostering strong, independent young women.

Dr. Orbé-Austin, a renowned psychologist and author, brings invaluable insights from his latest book, "Your Child's Greatness: A Parent's Guide to Raising Children Without Imposter Syndrome." He shares his personal experiences as a father to two daughters, enlightening listeners on how to cultivate an environment where daughters can thrive without succumbing to imposter syndrome—a pervasive issue that affects many youths today.

One of the central themes of this episode is the power of intentionality in parenting. Dr. Orbé-Austin emphasizes the significance of recognizing each child as a unique individual, with distinct needs and aspirations. By acknowledging their individuality, fathers can offer tailored support that encourages their daughters to pursue their passions and dreams.

The episode also explores how fathers can strike a balance between guiding their children and allowing them the independence to explore their own paths. Dr. Orbé-Austin advocates for the concept of "lighthouse parenting"—being a steady guide rather than hovering too closely, thus empowering daughters to develop confidence in their decision-making.

Listeners will find actionable advice on how to strengthen bonds during challenging times. Dr. Orbé-Austin offers practical examples, like the importance of giving emotional space and the value of learning from mistakes through a growth mindset. These insights help dads understand how to support their daughters in building resilience and coping skills that will serve them throughout their lives.

Furthermore, the episode touches on creating traditions that reinforce family connections. Dr. Orbé-Austin shares his family's cherished "Friday night dinners," a routine that encourages open communication and strengthens familial ties.

For fathers who want to be more than just present figures in their daughters' lives, this episode is a must-listen. It challenges conventional parenting scripts and inspires dads to engage thoughtfully and authentically with their daughters, paving the way for them to become self-assured, thriving individuals.

Tune in to the Dad and Daughter Connection for a thought-provoking discussion that will equip you with the tools and insights to enrich your relationship with your daughter. Whether you're a new dad or a seasoned one, this episode will leave you feeling inspired and ready to nurture deeper, more meaningful connections.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm doctor Christopher Lewis, and the dad and daughter connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started. Because being a great dad isn't just about being there, it's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and daughter connection, where every week we have an opportunity to be able to build stronger connections with our daughters. And, you know, that is so important. As a father of two daughters myself, you know, there have been many times over the years where I have wished that I could have done something a little bit differently, where I wished that I knew some things ahead of time, where I may have stepped in something that I shouldn't have stepped in and made that misstep.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:22]: And that's why this podcast is here because I want to be able to walk with you on this journey that you're in to help you to be able to build those strong connections with your daughters, but also to help you to give you some some tips, some tools for your toolbox to help you raise those strong independent women that you want to raise in the future. And that's why every week we bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that can share their own experiences, not only as fathers, but also as individuals that have gone through those experiences that can share with you some things that you can build upon own fatherhood journey. Today, we got another great guest. Doctor. Richard Orbe Austin is with us. And Richard is a licensed psychologist and executive coach, a consultant. He's the founding director of NYU's graduate student career development center. And he leads a team responsible for managing the career needs of over 14,000 masters and doctoral students in over a hundred different discipline.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:24]: You can tell he's a busy guy. Now prior to his tenure at NYU, Doctor. Orbe Austin served in a variety of different leadership roles, including a chief diversity officer at Baruch College, City University of New York, and as president of the New York Association of Black Psychologists. Just recently, he and his wife just wrote a book called Your Parent's Guide to Raising Children Without Imposter Syndrome. And I can tell you, in working with young adults today, people that are getting into education into their careers, imposter syndrome is definitely there and something that all of our kids are going to run into at some point in their life. So today we're gonna be talking to Richard about his own journey, being a father of two daughters himself, but also about this book. And I'm really excited to have him here. Doctor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:18]: Orbea Austin, thank you for being here today.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:03:20]: It is so much my pleasure, Christopher, to be here with you today. I'm so excited to chat with you about this topic.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:27]: You know, I'm excited to have you here. And I love starting these interviews to be able to delve a little bit deeper into relationship that you've been able to build, the connections that you've been able to build with your daughters. And I guess first and foremost, I'd love to be able to have you kind of reflect and think about the fifteen years that your daughter, your oldest daughter has been in your life, the thirteen years that your youngest daughter has been in your life. What is one of the most meaningful moments that you've shared with your daughters made them so special?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:03:58]: Sure. So I think that's just such a powerful question. And one of the things that I think about, I've had the good fortune to homeschool both my daughters along with my wife, and both of them are also competitive fencers. And so we are on the road a great deal of the time. And quite frankly, it's been a joy to be able to be so present in their lives in the ways that I have been. And I think one of the most powerful things just recently that I think about, and I'll take each one separately, For the 15 year old, she's the one who first started fencing. And when she started fencing, she faced a lot of adversity. It was really a challenge for her.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:04:35]: She did not do as well as we might have hoped or she may have hoped, kept losing bouts and losing bouts and losing bouts. And she never gave up. She loved the sport so much, it wasn't even about the winning. Like, I, as a parent, felt pain that time and again, she kept losing. But I never forget that first doubt. It was as if she won the Olympic gold medal, and how much I was able to see the joy in her face. And she jumped in my arms and everyone celebrated. And that was one of the most beautiful and powerful things in recent times that I've been able to share with my oldest.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:05:11]: With my youngest, who's a lot more quiet, who's kind of a little bit more focused in her own head, I think one of the most powerful moments is just really being able to I remember going on a walk with her and and really asking her, you know, what's on your mind? What's going on? And he was able to talk to me in a most the the different way that I ever imagined a 13 year old, or at that time, actually, it was an 11 year old, was just talking about the world and asking me such, you know, compelling questions and, and really feeling like this was a special moment because of the fact that typically when I go out with her, it would be with her older sister or we go out as a family. And I just remember it just so happened with Von Gorbachev, for some reason, I decided to take her along with me. And we had such a wonderful conversation, and it felt like I got to know her in such a different way. And as the youngest, sometimes she's in the shadow of her older sister, and you you well know that. But I was able to see her as her own distinct individual with her own thoughts and her own feelings and her own opinions. And so I I really valued that moment.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:19]: With two daughters, I guess, how do you balance guiding your daughters while also giving them the independence to grow into their own person?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:06:30]: One of the things that I oftentimes think about is, one, because they are both girls, it's easy to try to compare the two of them. And so we're, we're very intentional, my wife and I, to to make sure that we take them as our own unique, distinct individuals and then give them the room to take risks, make decisions in low stakes environments, but really helping them to know and understand that, yes, we have a particular path we may want them to go down, but also being able to let them do some of the things they need to do to really develop their sense of self, to develop their sense of efficacy in the world around them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:09]: Now not all times are positive. There's always challenging times as well. What would you say are some intentional ways that you've worked to strengthen your bond with your daughters, especially during those challenging times?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:07:23]: It's being able to understand what they need at a particular time when they are facing a particular challenge. And so if they, for instance, have a difficult time, I'll use fencing again as an example, they don't do as well. Rather than trying to interrogate them or ask them what went wrong or what they could do differently, giving them the space that they need to process and then revisiting it at a particular point. That it's really about understanding one might need to actually have that conversation right away, and the other may need more time to process before she's ready to have those types of conversations. So giving them that emotional space, if you will, even if I, as as the parent, really want to be able to process it in the moment feeling like it might be useful, being able to recognize that their need, not my need first.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:12]: I've definitely been there before, and I have two daughters that are very different, like your daughters are as well. And I definitely have made mistakes along the way. And you have to learn from those. And so speaking of mistakes, what's a mistake that you've made as a father? What did you learn from it about fostering positive things with your daughters?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:08:34]: I think the mistake that I made was exactly what I talked about prior, which is feeling like I want to process something with them when they're having a difficult time. And and rather than giving them the room to say, alright, they need to process it on their own, rather than doing that, I kind of forged ahead and said, no, let's talk about it now. And I learned that that was more my issue than their issue, and I needed to actually meet them where they were rather than where I wanted them to be. And it wasn't a right or wrong in terms of them being at a place that was wrong and I was at the place that I was right. It was more about respecting what they needed in that moment rather than what I needed. And it is very difficult, particularly in the heat of a of a competitive environment where, you know, you see your child not doing as well as you may have wanted them to do, and you see that they're upset. And so you want to be able to problem solve and think about what can be done differently. And that's not what they need in that moment.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:09:34]: They need to be able to have some connection, a hug, and then may just need to take a walk.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:41]: You know, I've said this over and over again, and I learned this from someone, a past podcast guest from another podcast that works with fathers in many different ways. And she said to me at one point, and I wish I had known this early on when my kids were very young, which was for working with your kids, you should, especially when you have daughters, should always ask them walking in and you're trying to talk with them, they wanna talk with you, a listening conversation, solving conversation. And it was never something that I ever thought of. And so many of us as men externally need to process and we need to fix things. And women are not always that way. So that was a big moment over the last probably five to seven years when I first learned about that. And I said, I wish I would have known that way earlier because that would have made a huge difference. Now when now what do you do to intentionally what do you do intentionally to make your daughters feel valued, heard?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:10:47]: One of the things that you that I think about is this notion of just being with them rather than doing something. Or as you said, we as men are are socialized to solve. And so for a long time, I felt like, okay, well, what is my role in the family as as, you know, I've got two girls, I've got my wife, and and what is my role? Is it to nurture? Is it to solve problems? And sometimes, it's just about being with them and letting them open up the space and do what it is that they wanna do. Ask me questions, send me, like, silly memes, being able to, you know, talk about fencing. So I've developed a lot more patience around that, not feeling like I had to do things when I was with them. It was really just about being with them and seeing where things go and letting them lead. And sometimes, you know, as I said with my youngest one, she is a lot more quiet than my oldest. And sometimes we will walk, and we won't even say anything.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:11:48]: She will not, you know, necessarily feel like she needs to have a conversation. And at first, I thought, okay, well, let me, start a conversation, and it was like, no. My oldest, soon as we go anywhere, she's like chatting up a storm. We're kind of like, you know, when I was younger, when she was younger, rather, I'd always talk about, let's play the quiet game for a little bit because she would love to talk and that's who she is, right? And I had to, with my youngest, recognize that no, she doesn't need to have our time be spent filling the air with words. She may just value us being together and taking a walk in silence.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:25]: Now you've talked about the fact that your daughters are competitive fencers, that you do a lot of traveling, that you're supporting them in those ways. And as they've gotten older, I'm sure that they start to have other dreams and visions for the future. How do you support your daughters in pursuing those passions and dreams?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:12:45]: Some of it is simply about exposure. If they say I'm interested in x, then it's saying, well, let's talk to someone who's doing that. Let's talk to someone who's had that experience to sit down with them and really understand what it is that makes you interested in it and what it really will look like in practical terms. And then helping them to feel like it's all right to explore. So I oftentimes talk about people being in moratorium where they're exploring, they're not necessarily making a decision. And ultimately, that is all right. And, letting them recognize that they can have a variety of options and also being able to be clear as to how to be supportive in helping them come to a resolution about a particular option or not. Sometimes they just wanna explore.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:13:30]: Sometimes they wanna come to a particular resolution, and really understanding the difference.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:35]: I can tell that from what you're saying, your daughters probably feel that you are there for them, that they know that they can turn to you, and you're engaged and active. What's one way that you show your daughters that they can always count on you?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:13:52]: It's being able to talk to them about whatever they wanna talk to, talk about. So when I pick them up from fencing or I take them to fencing, it it's having conversations and and helping them to see that I am open to any difficult conversations, fun conversations, silly conversations, and just opening up the space in that way, not feeling like, again, I have to be in charge of how we engage with each other.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:18]: And what's one tradition or routine you've did together that has strengthened your bonds?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:14:24]: One of the things that they always look forward to that that I talk about is what we call Friday night dinners, even though we do it typically at lunchtime now. But it was a tradition my wife and I started even before we had kids that as we had a very difficult, you know, week for work or or, you know, at the time we met when we were in graduate school, being able to know that Friday night was a time that we would all come together, connect, engage, and really have that space to process whatever we wanted to process. And so when we had our girls, we really wanted to then introduce them and integrate it into their lives because their lives now are really intense and on the run, so we don't always have as much time to sit down as a family for dinner every night, but we want to make sure that on Fridays, even if we're traveling, we will have that time to do our Friday night dinners, whether it's breakfast, lunch, or actually dinner. And they look forward to it. Because sometimes we will not necessarily plan something. They're saying, well, what's happening to Friday night dinners? And we're like, okay. We'll we'll make sure to incorporate it when we're on the road as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:33]: Now I mentioned the fact that you and your wife have a new book that is out entitled Your Child's Greatness, A Parent's Guide to Raising Children Without Imposter Syndrome. And as mentioned, I've seen imposter syndrome rear its head in many different ways, whether it be with young children, but also adults and young adults. And I loved this book because of the fact that you really are working to help parents to guide kids in a new way, to be able to see their self worth without really falling into that self doubt and security that can easily kind of dipped into their minds. And I guess first and foremost, as I always love being able to get the origin story here because I know you have a couple of books out and and you've done writing in the past. But tell me that origin story and why this book so important for you to put out into the world.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:16:33]: I appreciate the opportunity to tell the origin story because we don't always have that opportunity. So it really started from our first book, which was published in 2020, called Own Your Greatness. And and that book really served as a workbook to help people through a step by step model overcome imposter syndrome. And then during the time that we promoted the book, we talked about the book, what kept coming up for us is people asking, well, how about children? How can I support my child in being able to make sure they don't even develop imposter syndrome so that we don't even need to talk about them overcoming it because they've never even developed it? And to us, at that point, we knew that at some point, we were going to have to write that book because it seemed to be so much in demand. So we had the opportunity after our second book, which is called Your Unstoppable Greatness, which really focused on imposter syndrome and how it's triggered in the workplace, to really come back to our publisher and say, I think it's time now for us to write this book. This is a book that we've been wanting to write for the last three or some odd years, and it's the perfect opportunity to help parents, caregivers, anyone who works with children, young adults, adolescents to feel like they have a go to resource to support them in preventing impasse syndrome from developing and or if it has already developed, how to actually help them to overcome it. And so we are very excited to be able to have it out in the world, and we're very thrilled to see how people respond to it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:12]: You mentioned this, but your book really focuses on helping children to develop strong internal sense validation. What are some key ways that you believe that fathers can specifically help their daughters avoid imposter syndrome and build confidence in who they are?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:18:30]: So when we've talked about some of the ways that imposter syndrome has developed, one of the ways that we oftentimes talk about are are through their the origins typically come from early childhood experiences and and specifically the roles that people take up when they are younger. So there are three specific roles that we talk about. The first one is the smart one. So you are identified in your family very early on as the one who is naturally gifted and intelligent, Even though your grades may be just, you know, similar to someone else in the family, you've been deemed to be the smart one. And when you hit some level of adversity and don't do as well as you may have typically imagined, you start to feel like, well, actually, am I the smart one? Maybe I'm a fraud. Maybe that wasn't true the whole way. That's one role. The second role is the hardworking one.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:19:23]: So you were given the role of someone who's more socially adept, someone who is very hardworking, may not be as smart as the one who's been deemed as smart one. Even though, again, your grades, your academic achievements have been very much similar, you were then stuck in that particular role as the hardworking one. So the message sent to you is you will only be successful if you work or tend to overwork because you're just not as smart as many other people. And then the last role we talk about is the role of the survivor and someone who may have been raised in an environment of neglect, so they never even got any feedback about their abilities or their achievements. They're just looking to survive. And so when we think about how dads can support daughters, it's making sure that they are are not stuck in one rigid role, that the smart one can be the hardworking one as well and vice versa, that it's being able to help them to know and understand that they have unique strengths, they have unique abilities. So when we talk about making sure to not compare them to you have two or more children, them being able to make sure that you're not always comparing one to another in that way and helping them to know that they can take on a variety of roles, that they can fully appreciate their unique skills and strength.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:42]: Now your book also makes an important distinction between internal and external validation. What can fathers do to ensure that their daughters valued who they are rather than for the achievements or how others perceive them?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:20:57]: When we talk about this notion of of how people begin to get to a point of internal validation, it does actually start with some level of feedback that they receive generally from their families of origin, as to who they are. What is the narrative they develop about themselves? And so as a father to daughters, helping them to develop an accurate, thick narrative as to who they actually are. And what I mean by that is typically people with impasse syndrome have a very thin narrative of of who they are. They say, well, the only reason I was successful is because I was lucky, or the only reason I was successful is because someone liked me and they pushed me along. When you develop a thick narrative, you actually incorporate the fact that, Well, wait a minute. I actually have these unique skills. I have great communication skills. I have great leadership skills.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:21:47]: I tend to get along very well with others and really being able to help them appreciate their specific narrative, and they don't necessarily dismiss their achievements in that particular way. So one of the things we oftentimes talk about is, yes, you will praise them when they do well in a particular academic achievement or extracurricular, but helping them to know and understand that you appreciate them no matter what that particular outcome is. That they got a hundred or a 95, your love will still be there. They win that bout, they don't win that bout, the love will still be there. You will talk about the fact that you will give them that appreciation and praise and look to them to understand how they were successful in that particular moment, even if the outcome wasn't exactly what they wanted.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:39]: Now talking about that outcome not always being what you wanted, one of the other themes in the book was really talking about resilience, coping skills. How do you believe that fathers can play a unique role in teaching their daughters to navigate setbacks, failures, and doubt possibly in a healthy way?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:23:00]: Sure. So I oftentimes talk about this notion of adopting a growth mindset. So growth mindset was a particular phenomenon talked about by doctor Harold Dweck that really appreciated the fact that we all will make mistakes in life. No one is perfect. But what are you learning through those mistakes? And it it's not bad to make a mistake. A fixed mindset says, you make a mistake, you're not perfect, there's something wrong, that everyone just has a limited potential to grow. And if they can't reach that, then then that's that for them. A growth mindset says, there's always a potential to further learn, to grow, to achieve.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:23:38]: Making a mistake is not the end of the world. It's learning from the mistake. And so really engaging with your daughter as a dad to help them adopt that growth mindset. That when something goes wrong, it's not about, Oh, I failed. It's about, Well, what might you look at in terms of what you did well, first and foremost, and then what might you do differently rather than feeling like the the message is, I failed. I didn't get what I wanted. And that's that. It's being able, again, when they are emotionally ready to process it in such a way to help them understand, should they be in that situation again, how might they approach it different?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:18]: Now, fathers also serve as some of the earliest role models for their daughters in terms of relationships and self? What are some critical ways dads can model healthy relationships, strong boundaries to help their daughters develop positive self esteem? Well, I think one of the

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:24:33]: things that I oftentimes talk about are that your children are always listening. Your children are always observing. So how you engage with those around you as well, your your partner matters. Right? And so I'm very much intentional. I remember when they were younger, and and I thought, okay. Well, I never want them to see my wife and I fight or argue. And then I thought to myself, well, then that's not actually helpful because it's a facade. It's it's helping them to believe that the perfect couple never argues.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:25:03]: So what I then realized, my wife and I, is that it's alright for them to understand that, yes, sometimes we may have disagreements, but how do we handle those disagreements? How do we engage with one another during those disagreements so that they understand what healthy conflict is versus unhealthy conflict? That you will always have conflict, and conflict does not always have to be bad, but it is something that you want to ensure they understand how to engage in it in a healthy manner, to understand what a healthy relationship is, and modeling that for them and talking to them about it and being intentional when, you know, something happens and we do have a disagreement and we resolve it and they understand how we came to that resolution, and we apologize and go through that whole process as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:50]: Appreciate you sharing that. Now, one of the other things that I was thinking about as I was going through the book and looking at how we can help our daughters to be able to find their own path is that many fathers want to support their daughters, but sometimes they struggle with concept of being able to let go, they grow more independent. I think you and I both have probably experienced that in our lives as our kids have gotten older. What advice would you give to dads on how to balance guiding our daughters well as allowing our daughters to explore and define success on their own terms?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:26:24]: So recently, I've heard of this term and I've never heard of it before, this notion of lighthouse parenting, where apparently you are rather than a helicopter parent where one is always hovering, the lighthouse parent is one who serves as a guide to their child, but doesn't necessarily constantly hover. So they give them the opportunity to make decisions on their own and process those decisions. They give them some level of independence. And so I really appreciated that concept, and I thought about the fact that without naming it, that is the way that we try to raise our girls and that we want to make sure that they build a sense of confidence in the way they make decisions, in their judgment. And so we talk about it when they have these opportunities to do so, whether it's with their academics, whether it's with their extracurriculars, really being able to think about the opportunities that may come up for them to make decisions that are in some ways lower stakes and then gradually building it up to higher stakes. But being able to recognize that, yes, as they grow older, they will have greater ability to make decisions. Some of those decisions you may not always agree with, but at what point do you enable them to make the decision, see what happens, and then talk about the outcome and the process of it, which is something that is very helpful in helping them to self efficacy in how they navigate the world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:53]: Definitely a process of learning, not only for us, but for them, and we definitely have to be willing to learn with them to be able to help them to grow into the people that they're becoming. So we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our Dad Connection six and they're really an opportunity to delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:28:11]: Yes.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:12]: What's one word scribes your relationship? Daughters.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:28:15]: Fun.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:16]: What's the best piece of dad advice ever received?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:28:19]: It's really allowing yourself to let go and not always be in control when you're engaging with your daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:28]: What's one activity that you and your daughters love to do together?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:28:31]: It used to be actually when I when they were younger. I'm I'm a runner, so I'd like to run with them. And so especially my youngest, we'd run all over New York City. Now it's become being able to watch all their silly memes that they send me, via text and being able to process, some of the crazy things that they're sending me on a day to day basis.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:53]: Now if you could give your daughter's one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:28:58]: Appreciate and enjoy every day that you have, and and you will hit setbacks. You will meet adversity, but really true truly try to extract some joy every moment and every day that you have.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:11]: What's one thing you've learned about yourself becoming a dad?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:29:14]: That I'm a lot more controlling a person than I thought I was, and that I needed to let go a lot more than I appreciated. So that, I think, was a very powerful life lesson for me to, take away from my time with my girls.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:31]: And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters? What would you say to them?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:29:38]: I would say to to have patience with yourself and have patience with your daughters that, as you talked about, we're going to make mistakes. We're going to do things that might feel clumsy and awkward, but don't necessarily let that deter you from continuing to engage with your daughters. They want you to be in their lives. They want you to connect with them. It's just being able to learn how. And so taking the time to do so, and again, having patience with that process, I think, will really bear some wonderful fruits for your labor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:15]: Now, Richard, if people wanna find out more about you, about the book, where should they go?

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:30:20]: So they should go to, first and foremost, my website. It's dynamictransitionsllp.com. So dynamictransitionsllp,asinPaul,.com. Then you can find me on Instagram. We're very active there. So we have an actual handle dedicated to the book. It's called At Smart Parenting Strategies. So look for that where we share resources, tips about engaging more children and and parenting advice of all types.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:51]: Richard, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for your time and for sharing your own journey with your own daughters and for putting this book out into the world. It's such an important topic and one that if we start utilizing these strategies early in our children's lives, it will make huge, huge and allow for our kids to be able to live those lives that we want them to live without the imposter syndrome sneaking in. Well, it may still sneak in, but but maybe less imposter syndrome sneaking in. So, Richard, thank you. Thank you so much for being here, and I wish you all the best.

Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin [00:31:27]: It was my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:30]: That's a wrap for this episode of the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect. It's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:00]: We're all in the same boat and it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast, the time blows by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and musclemen, get out and be the world to them.