FPL is a game that’s often characterized by the feeling of disappointment. Cold, hard, and unadulterated disappointment. And yet, before every seemingly juicy double gameweek, it seems like we FPL managers have a genuine reason to be hopeful. Double Gameweek 25 was one of those gameweeks—how exciting was it that Man City and Liverpool, two of the best teams in the league, would have two nice fixtures each? Alas, disappointment struck once again, especially when we realized that Darwin and Jota together played a mere quarter of the minutes that they could have played. In MJ’s words, perhaps we should come to expect disappointment; that way, we’ll never be disappointed. But there is reason to be hopeful, surely! The stars of today’s shows are Wolves’s dynamic duo up front, Hwang Hee-chan and Pedro Neto. Here’s a fun fact: Man City and Sheffield United are the two teams who have played the most games since a 0-0 (for diametrically opposed reasons, might I add). I daresay it seems almost inevitable—though that is admittedly a dangerous term—that Hwang and Neto will carve through the Blades’s defense (ironic nickname, isn’t it?) like a knife through hot butter. Or is it a hot knife through butter? Either way, the butter doesn’t remain intact…

In this episode, we focus exclusively on Liverpool, Manchester City, and Arsenal, the three teams that comprise the current top three of the Premier League—as such, it should come as little surprise that they also offer some of the best assets in FPL. Players from Liverpool and Man City are particularly hot property this week, given their juicy upcoming double gameweeks. Salah’s impending return and the potential resurgence of Pep Roulette (Man City’s squad is finally fully fit again), however, might just complicate matters a little … but first, we offer you a bit of roleplay involving an animated American and an elitist European!

With GW 25 and GW 28 finally confirmed to be double gameweeks and a clearer picture emerging overall of the remainder of the season, it finally seems like there are some real choices to be made for FPL managers—choices that, with strategic planning, can result in massive rank gains. To that end, we try to approach the four available chips from a new angle—instead of looking at which gameweek would be best to use a certain chip, we consider which chip would be best to use in a certain gameweek. Though the conclusions between the two approaches are similar, the change in thought process might just yield some fresh ideas. Elsewhere in our Dilemma Deliberations, we also conduct a deep dive on Richarlison, so tune in to hear some thoughts on why he has scored nine goals in his last eight Premier League appearances (a seemingly miraculous fact, but perhaps there’s an explanation for it?). Finally, the captaincy conversation—well, shall we just say, it truly does seem like all roads lead back to Haaland.

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Gameweek 22 was full of fun moments, with Haaland completely scuffing his lines (a robot will inevitably be a little rusty after a period of disuse, after all), Maupay taking the absolute mickey out of Maddison, and Elijah Anuoluwapo Oluwaferanmi Oluwatomi Oluwalana Ayomikulehin Adebayo dethroning Addji Keaninkin Marc-Israel Guéhi in his as the player with the best name in the Premier League. Looking forward, in our Dilemma Deliberations, we consider the upcoming blank and double gameweeks, outline a rough chip strategy for the remainder of the season, and debate whether or not you MUST bring in Haaland this week. Of course, if you do bring in Haaland, he easily becomes a top contender for captaincy, and given the lack of genuinely viable alternatives, it seems like the Norwegian may just be inevitable… 

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The most stretched-out gameweek in recent memory has bored us to the point of making Starting XIs consisting of animals. Yes, that’s right—Jacob and Jiayang spend about 20 minutes putting together the perfect Animal XI. And to be honest, we don’t see anyone getting past this team—the footballing world should be grateful it doesn’t actually exist, because it would no doubt walk the Champions League every year. With the great white shark leading the line and the kangaroo marshaling the defense … goosebumps. Don’t worry, we do also talk about FPL-related matters: the main topics in this episode are the legitimacy of KDB as an FPL option and the state of the forward position. Though the main event, of course, is the Animal XI. The things I would pay to see a Hawk flying at Zinchenko …

Breaks in the Premier League never come to pass calmly. Our teams just always seem to get derailed—this time, it’s injuries to Bowen, Trent, and of course Charlie Taylor, coupled with the departure of Salah and Son that had been imminent—and as FPL managers, we have to navigate our way through these trainwrecks. After reviewing the key points in Gameweek 20, we spend the bulk of this episode addressing our concerns in midfield and defense by ranking the best replacement options. Given Jacob’s recent infatuation with all things Crystal Palace, there is also a hefty dose of Olise prop—and honestly, Jiayang is feeling moved too.

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I can scarcely believe that this is our last episode in 2023, but here we are! Jiayang and Jacob conduct reviews of Chelsea and Man City respectively, with both landing on a hopeful outlook for the future (though Chelsea might be going through yet another false dawn, whereas City’s hope seems a lot more grounded). We also put Newcastle under strict scrutiny—has the Saudi money finally met its match with the mighty Wood? (There’s an environmentalism joke in there somewhere.) In our Dilemma Deliberations, we discuss four midfield options to consider buying for when Salah and Son temporarily depart our teams. Jacob, it seems, has trouble separating Garnacho the player from Garnacho the person. Finally, in what is perhaps our longest captaincy segment EVER, we break down four candidates, all of whom are quite viable—but ultimately land on one man, and one man only. In classic Fortress fashion, this episode is interspersed with a couple of fun tidbits. For one, we discover that Manchester United and Chelsea transcend categorization, while also exemplifying the cyclical nature of time. For another, we ponder how much we should factor in the past when making our decisions in the present, for the future—through the lens of none other than Richarlison de Andrade.

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All any FPL manager wants for Christmas is a captaincy haul—obviously. Oh, but will Santa come and realize this dream of ours? In this Christmas Eve episode of the FPL Fortress, we conduct a deep dive into decision-making methodology, mainly through the lens of the weekly captaincy decision. Are we all becoming part of the hive mind? Are we victims of groupthink, or even GUILTY OF groupthink? Or maybe, the vast majority of managers don’t possess the capacity to make decisions on any deeper level? How should we grapple with this rather futile-sounding conclusion? As is so often the case with the Fortress, we also sprinkle in some economics to help tackle the topic at hand—this time, it’s the idea of being risk-averse. Would you rather take $500,000 for certain, or have a 50% chance of getting $1,000,000 and a 50% chance of getting $0? In FPL lingo: would you rather get the relatively “safe” points from a Haaland in any given gameweek, or would you try to locate a mega-haul from a lesser-proven asset (the risk being they blank while Haaland doesn’t)? On a more grounded level, we also consider the idea of parting ways with Salah or Son while they’re away at AFCON and the Asian Cup respectively, and what to do with the extra funds if one does decide to redistribute. Above all, we beseech you: think.

It almost seems like this week’s episode of the FPL Fortress should be an episode of Sheldon Cooper’s “Fun With Flags” instead. Jiayang’s team is filled with five flags, which includes all four different flag colors—yes, we are in the thick of holiday season, but this is one instance in which we don’t hope to see festive colors. Our Dilemma Deliberations this week focuses on one binary: playing the game aggressively versus playing the game passively. Jiayang is a member of the former camp right now, while Jacob has leaned towards the latter this season; Jacob is currently 2.2 million places ahead of Jiayang, so make of that what you will. We also dedicate a fair bit of time bemoaning the dry state of affairs within the FPL landscape, and reminisce about the days when there were more than a meager two premium assets in the game.

We’ve got a special double episode coming your way today, given that the first midweek gameweek is fast approaching—a sign of the busy holiday season ahead (which of course could be a good or a bad thing, depending on how your team performs). To help you navigate the imminent fixture congestion, we spend the majority of this episode discussing which one of the top FPL assets at the moment can be characterized as “season keepers” (a term that often gets thrown around lightly, that we here at the Fortress take very seriously). As problems with the rest of your team inevitably crop up, you’ll want a stable core of players who you don’t have to think about to help carry you through the period. Captaincy for GW 14 is unbelievably tight, with Haaland playing a Spurs side that seem to be dead set on playing a high line and Salah playing a Fulham side that—well, they’re Fulham. French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre makes yet another appearance as we consider whether or not he would endorse letting a coin decide this binary decision. Captaincy for GW 15 looks slightly easier, as Salah’s advantage in the quality of his opposition seems to outweigh the fact that Haaland, in a vacuum, is probably the better pick.